watch yourself sit at your desk wondering what to do. reply to youtube comments? watch yourself think about how you're being lived, and the choice isn't up to you? watch yourself remember, thank you god for replacing me with you. thank you god for replacing me with you. thank you for helping me know what to do.

watch yourself feel insecure. watch yourself wish. watch yourself feel like a loser. watch yourself feel tired of feeling like a loser.

yes i feel like a loser. yes i feel unsuccessful. that must mean i am not present. yes i want to be present and it's annoying that i have to try so hard every day to do it.

yes i am anxious. yes i am doubting myself and feeling insecure. yes i want to make good work. yes i want to have a fun day. yes i am stressing myself out. yes i am frustrated with myself. yes i am wanting more money. yes i am feeling greedy? yes i am anxious. yes i am judging myself. yes i am projecting my own faults onto others. greedy, jealous, taking too much, wanting too much, never satisfied.

yes i am distracting myself on facebook. yes i am really harshly criticizing myself. yes i am really doubting myself. yes i am frustrated with myself. yes i want more coffee. yes i want more coffee. yes i want more coffee.

yes i am mad at myself. yes i am disappointed in myself. who is the i? who is the myself? who is disappointed?? who am i who is disappointed?

i know i have no problems when i am present, but i want to be present to get money. i want to GET something out of presence. yes i am frustrated because i am looking outside of myself for security. presence is the only security. presence is the only safety. ®ƒ√ßåßœ˚ˆøœ¬ß˜çß˚å´¨∫∂™•£ºß•åß∂

yes i am seeking and wanting. yes i am making myself feel incomplete. i know the only thing missing is god, so why won't i just look??

yes i am feeling emotional. yes i am missing my parents. yes i am thinking about problems! yes i am making problems in the mind! who is the me making problems in the mind????

yes i want this second cup of coffee NOW. yes i am anxious. yes i am seeking and wanting. yes i am wanting something to fill me up. attention, coffee, money. attention, coffee, money.

yes i am wishing i would make better work. yes i am frustrated that this journal isn't coming more easily. yes i am frustrated. yes i am wanting. yes i am mad. yes i am frustrated and projecting. yes i am jealous and seeking.

please zoom out. please become aware.

am i aware? when i am aware i have no problems.

i know i can flip the switch with thank you and i can apply it to the rest of my life. but should i focus on thank you or am i aware? the mind is creating problems!!!! the mind is looking for problems!!!!

yes i am anxious yes i am seeking yes i am mind identified and making it worse!!!

yes i am wanting to fix it! yes i am wanting to correct it. yes i am wanting to surrender and let god live me.

THANK YOU GOD FOR REPLACING ME WITH YOU. i surrender. i surrender. i give up. i give up.

yes i want more money. yes i am frustrated with myself. yes i am curious who the fuck I is and who the fuck myself is. why can't i just be the one? why can't i let the mind go? why is the question and questioner still there? why am i taking so long? why do i feel so frustrated with myself?

yes i want to be a better daughter. yes i want to help. yes i want to give. yes i want to help. yes i feel so sad and helpless. yes i feel so sad. yes i miss my parents. yes i feel so sad. yes i feel so sad.

yes i am making problems for myself. yes i am frustrated. yes i am looking for problems. yes i am so irritated with myself. yes i am so frustrated.

yes i feel not good enough. yes i feel depleted. yes i want to feel abundant. when i am aware i have no problems. am i aware?

EVERYTHING IS THOUGHT EVERYWHERE I LOOK! HOW CAN I TRANSCEND THOUGHT WHEN IT'S ALL THOUGHT?!

yes i am frustrated. yes i am embarrassed! yes i am struggling. yes i want to feel better. yes i want to say FUCK IT and trick it all off. give up. surrender.

yes i am seeking for something outside of me to feel good. yes i am making problems. i need to let go of my awareness of the problems!

am i aware? when i am aware i have no problems. i have no lack .i have no agitation or separation. am i aware?

am i aware that i am aware? yes i am aware. i am aware that i am aware. yes i am aware. am i aware? i am present. i am here. i am here now.

i exist. i am present. am i aware? i am aware that i am aware. i know i've been in the cloud of thought. i know i've been trapped in thought. am i aware? when i am aware i have no problems.

thank you god for replacing me with you. thank you for helping me stabilize as i am. thank you for helping me do the right thing. thank you for helping me surrender. thank you god for replacing me with you. thank you god for replacing me with you. thank you god for replacing me with you. thank you god for replacing me with you.

yes i am still struggling but i know i can be aware. i know when i am aware i have no problems. i know i have to read being aware of being aware. i know i am addicted to thought. i know i can let go i know i can transcend i know i can surrender i know i can let life live me. i know i can let go.

am i aware? when i am aware i have no problems. am i aware? am i aware? am i aware? i am aware that i am aware. i am aware of awareness. am i aware?