thank you god for replacing me with you. i surrender i give up.

yes i am depressed. yes i am breathing in. yes i am thinking about family. yes i am breathing out. yes i have tension in my back. yes i am noticing pain. yes i am breathing out. yes i am sitting here. yes i am sad. yes i am defeated. yes i know i am identified as the separate self and need to simply identify as pure awareness.

yes i am irritable. yes i am breathing out. yes i am breathing in. yes i am disappointed. yes i am breathing out. yes i am anxious. yes i am deflated. yes i am empty. yes i am hearing things. yes i am breathing out. yes i am tense. yes i am disappointed. yes i am taking things personally. yes i am sickened by my thoughts. yes i am dragging my feet to feeling better. yes i am scattered.

yes i feel abandoned. yes i feel unloved. yes i am disappointed. yes i am so depressed that i did it to myself again.

yes i am empty. yes i feel tension in my arms. yes i feel sour. yes i feel abysmal. yes i feel like there is nothing fun. yes i am so mad at myself for doing this to myself again. yes i am rolling my eyes at myself.

yes i am letting the world affect how i feel. yes i want to feel better. yes i know that's on me but i am feeling so sickened and disappointed. yes i am sad. yes i feel cut off. yes i am SO FUCKING SICK OF BEING A MOTHERFUCKING ADDICT.

what would mooji do?
simply identify as pure awareness?

yes i feel abandoned. yes i feel repulsed. yes i want to go home but i have nowhere that feels like home.

yes i want to turn inside out. yes i am so sad. yes i am disappointed. yes i am so sick of this human emotion thing. yes i am so tired of fighting against what is.

yes i am fighting what is. yes i am noticing tears in my eyes. yes i am so fucking annoyed. yes i am so fucking tired of this shit. yes i want to escape and there's nowhere to go.

yes i am sitting in this chair disappointed. yes i am sitting in this chair annoyed and irritable and teary eyed. yes i am breathing in. yes i am breathing out. yes i feel abandoned. yes i feel like no one really loves me and even god has disappeared.

yes i am feeling sorry for myself. yes i feel like a reject and a loser. yes i am so sad. yes i am so disapopinted and repulsed and empty. yes i just want god to help me but where the fuck is god. yes i am feeling tortured. yes i am tired of being me. yes i know i am identified as the separate self and it hurts really bad. yes i feel lonely and separate and isolated and alone and unloved.

yes i wish someone would rescue me for once. yes i am so empty. yes i am so abandoned. yes i feel so alone and like nothing is fun and nothing will help.

yes i just want god to help me but i feel like i'm blocking even that.

yes i just want to feel enlightened but right now it feels like a scam.
yes i am looking to the world to make me feel good. yes i feel like i did when i quit kratom for the 20th time.

yes i am depressed.
yes i am empty. yes i feel abandoned. yes i feel like a loser.

yes i want to know how i got to that change of heart. yes i am beyond depressed and even when someone tries to comfort me i push them away.

yes i am fucking angry. yes i am fucking depressed. yes i just want to escape and crawl in a hole and be alone to die.

yes i am so sad. yes i am so empty. yes i am so fuckign annoyed i could explode. yes i am devastated. yes i am so abandoned. yes my feelings are so hurt.

yes i am so sad. yes i am so disappointed. yes i am so hurt. yes i am so mad at myself. yes i am sickened by this fucking shit.

yes i am so sad. yes the narrative in my head is torturing me. yes i am so fucking sad. yes i am torturing myself. yes i am so sad. yes i am so lonely. yes i am so disappointed i can't believe i did this to myself again.

yes i am so empty and disappointed. yes i am so irritable and sad. yes i am so rejected and abandoned and not even god loves me anymore.

yes i am feeling beyond sorry for myself. yes i feel so fucking lonely. yes i feel so alone and unloved. yes i am so sad.

yes i am torturing myself. yes i am so sad. yes i am devastated. yes i am so fucking sad. yes i am so fucking sad. yes i am so fucking sad god where the fuck are you

fuck this shit fuck this shit fuck this shit fuck this shit
i am so fucking lonely i am so fucking sad

yes i am so fucking sad
i am so fucking sad i am so fucking sad i am so fucking sad i am so fucking sad

yes i am so sad please god help me please god help me please god help me

thank you god for replacing me with you get this separate self the fuck out of here i know how it works but i feel like i can't escape it please god replace me with you please god replace me with you get me the fuck out of here please please please