am i aware??
this is the beloved!
thank you!

this is the beloved: the insecurity. the waiting. the wondering. the filling in the blanks. the assuming.
this is the beloved: the pack of gum. the journal. the sound of the car driving by.
this is the beloved: this breath out. the afterglow colors. the bad taste in my mouth.
this is the beloved: the chill in my arms. the thought "there is no my". the thought about the neighbor.
this is the beloved: putting on the housecoat. noticing the phone charging. desiring a sip of water.
this is the beloved: asking the yes or no wheel if i can have another cup of coffee. it said no.
this is the beloved: the sound of the airplane. the writing to quell the anxiety. the wondering if that sound is the furnace kicking on.
this is the beloved: the thought "simply identify as pure awareness."
this is the beloved:

6 hours later
this is the beloved: listening to bright eyes because it's the only thing that doesn't hurt?
this is the beloved: mad about being mad
this is the beloved: the feeling of hate and disgust
this is the beloved: the feeling of everything annoying "me"
this is the beloved: the lyrics "we have a problem with no solution but to love and be loved"
this is the beloved: reality affecting "me"? reacting? dissonance?
this is the beloved: the thought "I just want to feel better i feel so guilty for not appreciating"
this is the beloved: simply identify as pure awareness
this is the beloved: the thought "that worked so well and then it slipped??? how?? where???"

this is the beloved: no puedo creerlo
this is the beloved: the thought "only a massage will make me feel better"
this is the beloved: realizing that really i need to cry??
this is the beloved: i feel alone and lonely

simply identify as pure awareness

am i aware?
simply identify as pure awareness

pure awareness i am
pure awareness i am
pure awareness i am om

how to identify as pure awareness when i feel like this
there is no "i" to feel?? there are just thoughts and feelings arising?

too lost too much mind storm

thank you god for replacing me with you thank you god for replacing me with you thank you god for replacing me with you thank you god for replacing me with you thank you god for replacing me with you thank you god for replacing me with you

thoughts just running RAMPANT in here

thank you god for replacing me with you thank you god for replacing me with you

god i'm in your hands
thank you
thank you

thank you for time to write. t hank you for the time alone. thank you for the fun life. thank you for the gifts to give. thank you for i always have everything we need

thank you always providing everything i need
thank you god for replacing me with you
thank you for the fucking awakening
thank you for the miracles
thank you for the perspective
thank you for the awareness
SIMPLY IDENTIFY AS PURE AWARENESS

it's easy just identify as pure awareness
am i aware?

the spiral goes up and up
but it looks the same from streetview
yellow house and old cars

competing words with bright eyes
competing emotions with wet eyes
competing thoughts with witness eyes

i want a massage but every touch feels like a scrape
i am annoyed by the music but it's the only sound i can take
it's friday night and i am being a bitch

impatient and irritated! repulsed and disgusted!
but don't worry
simply identify as pure awareness

pure awareness i am
was the thought when i got my first covid shot
i don't think i can listen to this anymore

thank you god for replacing me with you
simply identify as pure awareness
it's easy
you just identify as pure awareness that's all you do
nothing to it
simply identify as pure awareness
it's nothing
it's no thing

thinking about something that happened earlier?
simply identify as pure awareness

disa--

wow i have no idea what i was going to write there

waiting?
simply identify as pure awareness

doubting the efficacy of simply identifying as pure awareness?
simply identify as pure awareness

wondering who in the world would ever read this?
simply identify as pure awareness

noticing extremeLY CRITICAL JUDGEMENT POURING FROM THE THOUGHT STREAM?
simply identify as pure awareness
it's there i can see it it's there
it's everywhere i guessssss

rethinking what you texted??
simply identify as pure awareness.

thinking about tweeting what you write?
simply identify as pure awareness

feeling the edible kick in and tired in the body?
simply identify as pure awareness

really wanting to get away and SPEAK about it?
simply identify as pure awareness

experiencing extreme judgement?
simply identify as pure awareness

feeling beat up?
simply identify as pure awareness

disturbed by the thoughts and emotions arising?
simply identify as pure awareness

feeling guilty and confused?
simply identify as pure awareness

worrying about someone else's health?
simply identify as pure awareness

feeling paranoid and jumpy?
simply identify as pure awareness

don't know how to simply identify as pure awareness?
just ask
am i aware?

really need new music to listen to?
simply identify as pure awareness

someone said write a poem
and here is the poem
to everything and anything
simply identify as pure awareness
and if you don't know how just ask
am i aware
yes
i am
i am aware of the presence of god

even this feeling of disgust and irritability is the beloved
but whyyyyy

to this stillness and spacing out
simply identify as pure awareness
am i aware?

feeling like i cant escape myself
I can't escape MY self
what the fuck
why did that make tolle have an epiphany but not me
not that i want to sit on park benches for 7 years or whatever but
SHIT i feel like i deserve some longer lasting enlightenment

i am saying i am not enlightened right now?
because i can't stand feeling irritable
i am resisting what is

yes i am resisting what is
yes i am resisting even the music
yes i am so fucking irritable
yes i am sitting uncomfortably
yes i am disgusted
yes i am breathing in
yes i am rolling my eyes
yes i have been rolling my eyes ALL DAY
yes i want to overcome this jfc i am way too sensitive!!!!!!
yes i want to simply identify as pure awareness

pure awareness i am