watch yourself sit at your desk, thankfully feeling better than yesterday. watch yourself breathe out. watch yourself breathe in. watch yourself tell yourself to say yes to change. welcome change. embrace and accept it all.

watch yourself immediately want to distract yourself with a magickal library reading. watch yourself tell yourself

am i aware?

i'm not going to suffer that anymore. am i aware?
i don't need anything to change. i don't need to go anywhere. i just forgot who i was!!

am i aware? when i am aware i have no problems. am i aware? i am looking for unconditional love, and i forgot that i am the source. that i can return to the unconditional love at my core. i just got mixed with experience... again...

watch yourself feel guilty for your easy life. watch yourself breathe out. watch yourself breathe in . watch yourself sit here thinking and remind yourself,

am i aware? when i am aware i have no problems.
i don't need anything to change. i don't need to force anything. i don't need to control anything. i don't need to force the timing.

i don't need to force or control. i feel like controlling when i think i have something to lose. i control when i feel like i have something to lose. pure awareness has nothing to gain or lose! rip yourself from this attachment! let it go! LET IT GO!!!!!!

am i aware? when i am aware i have no problems!!
caring about what everyone thinks about me. caring about what someone thinks about what i'm listening to on spotify

so dark such a dark time and i'm not even addicted to drugs
oh ok i was addicted to drugs
oh shit i forgot it was vodka
i forgot it was vodka
i forgot it was vodka

anything that brings you pleasure will bring you pain. anything that brings you pain will bring you pleasure.
go beyond the opposites. go beyond the good and bad. go beyond. become aware of awareness. go back to i am. go back to the source. turn around don't drown

i am saying yes to what is. i am saying yes to what is. yes i am still seeking a little yes i am still messing around in tihe physical yes i am still seeking and reaching yes i am still hoping for a hit

addict! fucking addict!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
who isn't an addiict? if you're not an addict you're boring right

am i aware?
when i am aware i have no probelms

yes i am saying yes to what is. yes i had a really hard weekend. yes i am breathing in. yes i felt a lot of pain from my thoughts. yes i forgot who i was. yes i am feeling like i am coming back. yes i am breathing out. yes i am sitting here. yes i am feeling guilt.

yes i am breathing out. yes i am wanting to change my whole personality. yes i am breathing out.

yes i am feeling guilty because i haven't suffered like some. i haven't suffered enough. i haven't suffered enough to have a good life. haha.

yes i am braething in. yes i am looking at my thoughts today. yes i am beating myself up for my behavior. yes i wish i could be better next month. yes i want to get better at this summer to fall transition. i love the fall! i love the winter!

yes i am resisting. yes i am starting to stress about time. yes i am breathing out. yes i am breathin gin. yes i am stressing about time. yes i just want to escape and get to the other place. and then i will want to escape and get to the other place.

just stay here and enjoy! just stay here! just stay here! there's no where to escape to! if you escape to that place, you'll have to escape to this place! it's all the same! you'll feel the same everywhere you go! choose the feeling now! choose to feel how you'll feel when you get there, now!

watch yourself wait! watch yourself want to gain! watch yourself fear losing! pure awareness never waits! pure awareness has nothing to gain or lose! you are mixed with experience! go back to pure awareness! when you are aware you have no problems! it's always going to change! you can do this! you can be flexible and flowing! just say yes! yield! let go! practice the art of letting life come to you! surrender! let go! let go!let go!

what do i want?
a sweet night
of love and unconditional love
i forgot i was the source!
i thought it was someone else! it was me!

when i am aware i have no problems! everything fixes itself! i surrender ! let life take care of life! let go! i surrender! when i am aware i have no problems!

the unconditional love i seek is where i am seeking from !

i cam always be happy! i can always be safe! i can always let life take care of life! i surrender! i am aware! i am aware!

am i aware? when i am aware i have no problems!

am i aware? the contrast has to be so great that i focus on awareness of awareness. otherwise i just float... attaching to manifestations....
thank you contrast for reminding me of my power
thank yyou contrast for helping me appreciate my normal baseline of feeling good and in control of my vibration

am i aware? yes i am aware of the presence of god!
am i aware? yes i am aware of the presence of god!
am i aware? yes i am aware of the presence of god!

just surrender and let go and let life work it out! detach from the past! let it be new! let it be new today! let the change cleanse everything! let it be new! today it is new! it is new! it is new! it is always new when you stay as you are, pure awareness! pure awareness is always new and sparkling!!

the unconditional love i seek is where i am seeking from!