Give Up

Jessica Mullen

Give Up

Jessica Mullen
Watch yourself sit at your desk and feel... empty. Watch yourself breathe out and try to let go. Watch yourself sit here and feel sad. Watch yourself sit here and feel your mind seeking and resisting. Watch yourself notice how mixed in experience your being is. Watch yourself want to make some art. WAtch yourself feel so mixed up. Watch yourself feel so sad so seeking so grasping so attached. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself tell yourself it's not that deep. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself feel anxious and sad. Watch yourself feel way too emotional. Watch yourself feel like life is pointless. Watch yourself hate this time of the cycle. Watch yourself breahte out and feel like you're going to cry... again. Watch yourself breathe out and feel too attached. Watch yourself breathe in and listen to people shouting outside. Watch yourself breathe out and think about things you don't want to do.

Watch yourself wish for confirmation. Watch yourself know you are the source and feel pathetic because you can't pull it together. Watch yourself wish for that sameness feeling. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself sit here and feel anxious. Watch yourself watch the minutes tick by and wonder what you're doing with your life. Watch yourself want to give and share and watch yourself feel rejected. APprove of yourself, the cards said.

Watch yourself feel way too sensitive. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself feel mad at yourself for getting caught up in the world of experience. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself want to give that thing. Watch yourself remind yourself,

LEAVE IT UP TO CHANCE!!!

I am leaving it up to chance.

I am saying yes to what is. Yes i am seeking. yes i am giving my power away. yes i am breathing out. yes i am breathing in. yes i am listening to the buses drive by. yes i am sitting here feeling anxious and sad. yes i am breathing out. what does the sadness feel like? like dried leaves in my throat that if they get crushed i'll start crying.

yes i am both excited and saddened by fall. yes i am breathing out. yes i am breathing in. yes i feel like i can't get away from myself. from my ego i guess. yes i am breathing out. yes i am breathing in. yes i am sitting here wallowing. yes i am braething in. yes i am watching myself feel this way and judging myself. yes i am breathing out. yes i am too attached. yes i am annoyed by myself.

why am i here?

i am here for fun. i am here to remember what i know. what do i know?
i know i am the creator. i know i am the source. i know i can change my vibration. i know i am source of all that's good in my life. i know i can stay as i am. i know i can stand up to my thoughts. i know i can go within and not need anythign from the world. i know i am whole and complete right now. i know i am breathing out. i know i am aware. am i aware? yes i am aware!

what do i want?
to stay as i am! to never lose my self in experience again! to STAY AS I AM, PURE AWARENESS.

wouldn't it be nice to transcend this emotion? Wouldn't it be nice to feel it and let it go? What am i feeling? sadness in my body that feels like being glued or attached to something. like decay. i am feeling decay. i am feeling like i got too physical. i am feeling like i lost my balance. i am feeling off balance. i am feeling tipped over. i am feeling empty. it's time to refill.

am i aware? yes i am aware. i am aware of the presence of god. thank you god for replacing me with you. i am leaving it all up to you. i am leaving it all up to you. i am leaving it all up to you. i am leaving it all up to you. i am leaving it all up to you. i surrender. i give up. i let go. i am letting go of the perils of experience. i surrender. i leave it all up to you.

am i aware? yes i am aware! I am aware of the presence of god! thank you god for replacing me with you. i am aware. i am aware. i am now in the flow.

wouldn't it be nice to stay as i am today? Wouldn't it be nice to have fun everywhere i go? Wouldn't it be nice to let my ego go? Wouldn't it be nice to remember who i am? Wouldn't it be nice to stay as i am? Wouldn't it be nice to let go of my attachment? Wouldn't it be nice to call my parents? Wouldn't it be nice to not put all my eggs in one basket? Wouldn't it be nice to do it right this time? Wouldn't it be nice to let it unfold? Wouldn't it be nice to let go? Wouldn't it be nice to let go? Wouldn't it be nice to let go?

i am staying as i am today. i am surrendering .i am giving up. i am letting go .i am trusting the process of life. i am letting go. i surrender. i give up. i am leaving it up to chance. i am leaving it up to god. i am letting god replace me. i am surrendering. i am letting go. i am surrendering. i am letting go. i surrender. i give up. i give up. i give up. i give up. i let it all go. i am staying as i am. pure awareness, i am. pure awareness i am. pure awareness i am. om.

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.