Watch yourself sit at your desk. 8:38am. Watch yourself go to pull up your natal chart analysis so you can figure out wtf is wrong with you lol.

Watch yourself re-read this passage again and again:

Chiron in Taurus in the 11th house: Chiron is the asteroid which tells us about our deepest wounds and how we heal from them to grow toward peace. A person with Chiron in Taurus will struggle with their attachments to persons, places, and things, and them being loyal to a fault has also contributed to this pain. They seek security and comfort in everything other than themselves. This being in the 11th house, The House of Friendships, emphasizes these points. The 11th house rules over social groups, your sense of validity, how others perceive you, your sense of community, and philanthropy. An example of a trauma someone with Chiron in 11h Taurus may have faced is a particularly painful betrayal or exclusion from a friend or friend group. The loss of that feeling of belonging, when not addressed, will sabotage future potentially healthy connections and attract unhealthy connections. The way to work through this is through working to obtain a secure attachment style and fostering healthy relationship boundaries and patterns.

Watch yourself tell yourself that block quote doesn't count towards the word count. Watch yourself be here now. Watch yourself feel straight up confused at how emotional you feel. Watch yourself feel frustrated with yourself. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself sit here. Watch yourself try to relax and sink your attention back into your self. Watch yourself try to be aware. Watch yourself notice you've been trying too hard. Watch yourself listen to linty crying. Watch yourself decide to shut yourself off again. Watch yourself feel like you got too vulnerable and now you're paying for it. Too attached and now here you are.

Again again.

Watch yourself notice the pattern. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself tell yourself to let that shit go!!!

Am I aware? Yes! I am aware! Am I aware? Yes I am aware!

I am aware that I am aware. I am being aware of being aware. I think I need to do some serious counting the next few days. I need to get my attention to drop the attachment to objects of experience.

Watch yourself feel mad that you let this happen ahahahahaha no one saw that coming guess we'll never know. Watch yourself miss your family. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself sit here and notice your mind jumping to the same thoughts over and over and over. Am I aware??

YES I AM AWARE!

I am choosing to say yes to what is. Yes I got too attached. Yes i let something outside of me be my reason for feeling good. Yes I got too hooked. Yes I lost my balance. Yes I destabilized. Yes I got too attached. Yes I am paying for it now. Yes i am suffering. Yes I am investigating the nature of the one who suffers. Yes I have been here before. Yes i can relax now. Yes i can choose to let it go. Yes I am breathing in. Yes I am breathing out.

Yes I am excited to work out. Yes I am going to surrender now. Yes I am letting go now. yes i am choosing to let go now. Yes I am choosing to surrender. Yes I am letting go now. Yes I am going to count today. Yes I am going to let go today. Yes I am trusting the process of life. Yes I am choosing to say
FUCK WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK
yes i am suffering from my own mental state. Yes I know how to treat this. yes i know what to do.

breathing in i bring energy into my crown chakra
breathing out i activate my crown chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my third eye chakra
breathing out i activate my third eye chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my throat chakra
breathing out i activate my throat chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my heart chakra
breathing out i activate my heart chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my solar plexus chakra
breathing out i activate my solar plexus chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my navel chakra
breathing out i activate my navel chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my root chakra
breathing out i activate my root chakra

thank you life for helping me remember how to drive this doohickey. thank you life for helping me stay sober. thank you for helping me stay as i am. thank you for helping me return to center. thank you for helping me return to center.

I am saying yes to what is. Yes I lost my balance .Yes I forgot who i was for a moment. Yes I repeated a pattern. Yes I will do better this time. Yes I am grateful that at least i'm not drinking. yes i am breathing out. yes i am feeling better. yes i am aware of awareness. yes i am choosing to train my attention today. yes i am choosing to discipline my mind and body today. yes i am choosing to feel good today. yes i am sitting here. yes i am breathing out. yes i am choosing to focus. yes i am choosing to stay as i am. yes i am choosing to feel better. yes i am choosing to do my work. yes i am choosing to let go. yes i am choosing to feel better. yes i am choosing to go with the flow and trust the process of life. yes i am choosing to be patient. yes i am choosing to surrender. yes i am letting go. i am giving up. yes i am surrendering right now. yes i am letting go. yes i am letting go. yes i am letting go. i am letting go.

yes i am breathing in. yes i am breathing out. yes i am accepting what is. yes i am choosing to love and forgive myself. even though i got too attached, i still totally and completely love and accept and forgive myself.