Watch yourself sit in your chair and get a Magickal Library reading. You Never Have to Wonder. Trust the process of life. Watch yourself know you need to hear that. You don't need to get involved! Trust the flow! Go with the flow! Let the flow do it! The tao does nothing and leaves nothing undone! Stay as you are! Let it come to you! Let go! Let go!

Watch yourself feel relieved that you can just let go... watch yourself want to meditate so you can practice staying as you are. But can you stay as you are right now?

Am I aware? Yes I am aware. I am aware of a child screaming and a dog barking. I am aware of the sound of typing. I am aware of my legs being crushed by my legs. I am aware of feeling bad for not feeing linty wet food anymore even though it makes her sick. I am aware of being in this room. I am aware of trying to hard. I am aware of my mind trying to come up with gift ideas. I am aware of thinking about my family. I am aware of having to go to the dentist in a week. I am aware of breathing in. I am aware of breathing out and kind of wanting drugs.... I am aware of how I haven't craved kratom in a couple days/weeks? hell yeah.

I am aware of yawning. I am aware of feeling excited for this day. I am aware of desire. I am aware of wanting. I am aware of wanting the following:

gift idea for m + l
gift idea for d
gift idea for y
hanging out over yonder
something to cook this weekend
something to cook next weekend
to know the fall and winter will still be fun
to know what step to take next on cwc
to get better at staying as i am
to have a good workout/not resist it
to stay sober
to stay confident and knowing and flowing and let it unfold
to drag my mind off my obsessions so i can be present and get more things to become obsessed with!

Am i aware? Yes I am aware! I am aware of sneezing. I am aware of linty eating her treats. I am aware of the coffee kicking in.

i am aware of wanting to listen to music. i am aware of wanting to listen to rs and mooji and hamilton. i am aware of wanting to give. i am aware of wanting to share. i am aware of wanting to cook for others. i am aware of my attention feeling taut. i am aware of wanting to relax my attention like a rubberband at ease.

i am aware of breathing out. i am aware of my mind telling me to focus so i can hurry up and finish this. i am aware that awareness never rushes. i am aware that it's all in perfect timing. i am aware that i can handle whatever happens. i am aware of wanting to help and give SO BAD. i am aware of the fact that maybe i want to give so bad so i get something in return. i am aware of wanting attention. ok i want attention, that makes sense...

So I will place my attention on my attention. I will pay attention to my SELF. I am paying attention to my self. I am aware.

Am I aware? Yes I am aware!

I am aware of the birds calling. I am aware of my tummy feeling uneasy. I am aware of WANTING. I am aware of a sense of lack. I am aware of wanting to flip the switch to total fulfillment. I am aware of KNOWING i need to be present if i want things to keep going the way they've been going.

Am I aware? Yes I am aware!

Am I aware? Yes I am aware!

I am aware of linty doing her morning cry. I am aware of checking the word count: 678. I am aware of slowing down the mind. I am aware of watching. I am aware of being here now. I am aware of yawning. I am aware of wanting wanting, seeking seeking. Ok I am seeking. I am mind identified looking for happiness in physical reality. I am aware. Now I am aware of being aware. I am turning the mind in on itself. I am resting the mind in my heart. I am resting the mind in awareness.

Am I aware? Yes! I am aware!
I can do this ! i can stay as i am. today i intend to stay as i am! i am aware! i am aware! yes! i am aware!

I am aware of wanting still... but the hold is less. I am aware of my hoodie on my arms. I am aware of wanting to spend less money. I am aware of wanting to make more money. I am aware of breathing in. I am aware of breathing out. I am aware of feeling grateful to kelly. i am aware of feeling excited about this month. I am aware of mind thinking of future. I am aware of desiring to stay as i am.

i am aware of wanting to listen to mooji. i am aware of the winter creeping up. i am aware of wanting to sit on my computer and listen to music and podcasts and i am aware that time will come. now is harvest time. now is celebration time. now is the time.

i am aware. am i aware? yes i am aware!

I intend to stay as i am. I am aware. I intend to have the best day of my life! I am aware. I am aware of desire, and i am aware of convincing my mind to stay as i am, to dissolve into presence. I intend to dissolve into presence today. i intend to surrender and trust the process of life. i intend to GIVE UP!