It’s Ok

Jessica Mullen

It’s Ok

Jessica Mullen
Watch yourself stand at your desk and hope for enough time. Watch yourself remind yourself, "It's ok." Whatever happens, it's ok. That's the lesson of the mushrooms.

Watch yourself stand here and listen to linty cry after she eats. Watch yourself stand here and feel too warm and wonder if you should do your chores so you can open the window but you really want to finish your writing first.

Watch yourself stand here. Watch yourself feel good today. Watch yourself feel attractive today. Watch yourself feel confident today. Watch yourself feel optimistic today. Watch yourself feel so grateful to feel good today. Watch yourself breathe out and think about all you want to accomplish today (but you can't remember everything bc you left your journal upstairs...):

  1. Record
  2. Call J
  3. Laundry
  4. Logo file
  5. J card
  6. Pharmacy
  7. Butter
  8. Zine covers
  9. Quest post
  10. Zine interior page
  11. OF post
  12. Matte CoC and MMM cover
  13. K computer shop
  14. Jansport return

Watch yourself stand here and wonder what else is on that list upstairs. Watch yourself want to bake for the neighbors. Watch yourself want the wild horses to do it for you. Watch yourself remember you have to shop for a new kind of mouth tape bc yours is hard to find now. Watch yourself breathe out and feel good in your body, what a relief. Watch yourself stand here and hope you go on a fun hike today.

Watch yourself stand here. Watch yourself wonder what else you wanted to get done today. Watch yourself want to follow through on all these new zine ideas. Watch yourself stand here and want more coffee. Watch yourself remember how fun yesterday was because the power went out. Watch yourself remind yourself to say thank you for it all. To everything, thank you. To everything, it's ok. To everything, I am aware. Nothing else. I am aware. No need to say anything else.

Watch yourself look over at the neighbor's house. Watch yourself can't help but notice every small detail that changes day to day. Watch yourself feel so relieved to feel good about life today! JFC it was touch and go there for a minute.

I am saying yes to what is. Yes i have to clean up this cat shit and yes i will do it with "thank you" or "ok" in my mind. Yes i am breathing out. Yes I am standing here. Yes I have a lot i want to get done today and yes i am excited to do it for once. Yes I am breathing out and out and out and out. Yes I am so grateful to finally feel good.

Yes I am feeling free! Yes I think i am free of the kratom withdrawal! Yes I am breathing in. Yes i am breathing out. Yes i am excited for this day. Yes I am excited to play my guitar and do a handstand. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I am being here now.'

I am loving what is. I am loving having time to do my writing focused in the quiet of the morning. Yes I am standing here forgetting i am loving what is lol. Yes I am standing here.

I am loving feeling good in my body. I am loving that writing that actually makes me smile. I am loving that i feel good what a fucking relief! I am loving that i am getting better at watching my thoughts. I am loving that it's getting easier to observe the mind. I am loving that it's easier to stay as I am. I am loving that life is going well for me.

I am loving that we went through our clothes bins yesterday. I am loving making slow but steady progress on cleaning and organizing. I am loving having time. I am loving being on earth. I am loving feeling good in my body. I am loving that we worked out 4 times and took a long walk this week. I am loving feeling focused. I am loving being devoted to my workout schedule. I am loving feeling good in my body. I am loving keeping up the good work. I am loving my meditation channel people. I am loving feeling connected to a meditation community.

I am loving being here now. I am loving feeling focused. I am loving that i can say thank you and ok to everything. i am loving that i can trust the process of life. i am loving releasing my resistance. i am loving remembering to witness the witness. i am loving remembering to stay as i am. i am loving remembering to feel for my sense of being.

i know i am here.
i am aware.
witness the witness.
yes!
thank you!
it's ok!

i am loving feeling good about life. i am loving feeling optimistic about life. i am loving that we got to watch fantastic fungi last night and it was so good. i am loving feeling good about life. i am loving feeling strong and fit. i am loving that my clothes fit. i am loving that i want to do a handstand.

i am loving that it's all working out for everyone. i am loving feeling inspired. i am loving having new zine ideas and i am loving that i actually picked up my guitar 2 days in a row and learned a new song!! (elderly woman behind the counter in a small town).

i am loving breathing in. i am loving breathing out. i am loving feeling focused. i am loving staying as i am.

i intend to stay as i am. i intend to say thank you and ok to it all. i intend to feel good about life today. i intend to trust the process of life. i intend to let life live me. i intend to enjoy it all.

thank you for the health. thank you for my wife and kitty. thank you for my home and perfect neighborhood. thank you for my perfect neighbors. thank you for my friends and family. thank you for ryan and movie night and zoom. thank you for cleveland. thank you for good news. thank you for phone calls and internet and electricity. thank you for this phase of my cycle that actually feels good. thank you for the best day of my life!

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.