WATCH YOURSELF sit here and be crabby. Watch yourself listen to mooji and hope it helps. Witness the witness. Nothing here is real. It's not real. The mind is not real. Only the self is real. The pure awareness. Pure awareness I am. Pure awareness. I am. Pure awareness. I am. Om.

Thank you. I am aware. I am aware of awareness. I am witnessing the witness.

I am witnessing my tummy feeling weird. Witnessing this blue raspberry lolli in my mouth. Witnessing a thought telling me to do my journaling. Witnessing mooji talking. don't force. let the clouds move. be the unchanging sky.

i wish there was a word or phrase that would always work. i wish i could always be present. i wish i could put my mind down. i wish i could really get that space.

yes i want that space.
yes i am obsessing. yes i am feeling depressed. yes i am feeling... dismissive. yes i am feeling jealous. yes i am feeling incomplete. yes i am attached to manifestations. yes i want more. yes i want to just be grateful

yes i just want to be grateful. i am choosing to be grateful.

thank you for mooji. thank you for bright eyes. thank you for keke. thank you for spotify. thank you for this lolli. thank you for the food. thank you for the pure awareness i am. thank you for helping me be the watcher. thank you for helping me be the observer.

thank you for the neighbors. thank you for plenty of money. thank you for mooji. thank you for client work. thank you for income. thank you for magick life. thank you for sales and orders. thank you for the mailman. thank you for cleveland. thank you for mooji.

thank you for good news. thank you for the feeling of gratitude in my heart. thank you for this jaded feeling waking me up. thank you for the moodiness waking me up. thank you for the menstrual cycle waking me up. thank you for waking me up.

what is the contrast making you ask for>
the contrast is feeling depressed, lost, unmotivated, crabby, unfocused, kind of like a loser... it's the inner critic coming in full force after summer. ok so... now what.

it is making me ask for peace and surrender. it's making me ask for presence and gratitude. i just want to be present. i just want to be the watcher and stop identifying with my FUCKING MIND!!!!

so i'll watch. here i go watching. i'm watching. i'm the watcher. i consciousness am here. consciousness is here, watching. the pure awareness is watching.

pure awareness is watching the false I feel crabby. pure awareness is watching the mind think "its supposed to be easy, it's right here, i know it's right here." pure awareness is watching the mind scurry around pretending it doesn''t know anything. pretending to be miserably seeking so it can keep up the search forever.

pure awareness is watching the bright eyes music. pure awareness is watching the hygrometer. pure awareness is watching the body breathe in and out. pure awareness is watching the mind miss keke.

pure awareness is watching the song play. pure awareness is listening to the fan behind the headphones. pure awareness is watching the mouth suck the lolli.

pure awareness is watching the mind crave more food. more more more it always says. more more more. give me more. more more more. pure awareness watching the mind always wanting, needing more.

pure awareness is watching the mind feel jaded and... starting to surrender. giving up. giving up. it gives up. someone is starting to give up.

pure awareness is watching the mind trying to understand, trying to run through lists of things to do to make "me' feel bad for not doing it yet.

pure awareness is watching the bright eyes play. pure awareness is watching the legs hurt from sitting uncomfortably.

pure awareness is watching the mind get frustrated and mad about typos, about the tiniest mistake or inconvenience.

pure awareness is watching the mind judge the lyrics about alcohol. pure awareness is watching the mind drag up memories about instagram posts about alcohol. pure awareness is watching the mouth suck the tootsie. pure awareness is watching the mind remember the book it read last night.

pure awareness is watching the eyes look out the window. pure awareness is watching the tummy feel upset. pure awareness is listening to sounds through the headphones.

pure awareness is watching the mind judge the sound quality. pure awareness is watching the eyes roll. pure awareness is watching the music. pure awareness is watching the mouth chew the candy. pure awareness is watching the body sit here. pure awareness is watching the mind crave drugs, uppers, stimulants, appetite suppressants. pure awareness is watching the mind CRAVE and NEED and DESIRE so many things. pure awareness is watching the mind tell "me" to feel bad for not making that spinach smoothie yet again.

pure awareness is watching the chewing and the music and the mind getting frustrated. pure awareness is watching the "me" want to get away from the mind. pure awareness is watching, reminding the "me" that that who seeks is seekign from the place of the sought. you are who you're looking for.

pure awareness is watching the mind tell "me" to start drinking again. pure awareness is watching the music play. pure awareness is watching the mind wanting this writing to be done already.

pure awareness is watching "me" feel crabby and ennui-y. pure awareness is watching the mind get triggered about alcohol. pure awareness is watching the mind freak out.

pure awareness is watching the body breathe in. pure awareness is watching the mind want more mooji, give me more because then i won't be annihilated rightnow.

pure awareness is watching the mind feel lazy and bored and annoyed and disgusted and lazy and frustrated.

pure awareness is watching the fingers type. pure awareness is watching the trash on the desk. the pure awareness is watching the mind judge.