Don’t Take Shape

Jessica Mullen

Don’t Take Shape

Jessica Mullen
Watch yourself stand at your desk, thinking "empty empty empty empty". Watch yourself want to focus. Watch yourself kick your vacation house shoes off. Watch yourself breathe in and want to hurry through this before K gets up. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself stand here in the gloom. Watch yourself breathe out. WAtch yourself listen to the buddies. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself want to know how to get to the emptiness.

WAtch yourself feel confused. Watch yourself want to spend days in meditation. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself breathe in and feel for the I AM.

Watch yourself breathe out and backspace typos. Watch yourself stand here and hear stirrings upstairs. Watch yourself relax your shoulders but shift around on your feet. Watch yourself wonder what's up with your arches. WAtch yourself try to surrender. Watch yourself notice you can't try to surrender, you do or you don't

Watch yourself surrender. Fuck it! God I'll just stop trying!

Watch yourself wish for the euphoric high of epiphanies. WAtch yourself breathe in. WAtch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself turn around and look at linty. Watch yourself feel the usual pull of sadness about mortality. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself want a sip of water but don't take it so you can get a few more words in.

Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself want to be empty.

Empty empty empty empty empty. I AM. Consciousness is. I consciousness am here. Consciousness is here. Empty empty empty empty empty.

Watch yourself decide to say yes to what is.

Yes I am standing here at my desk. Yes I am glad it is sunday and we don't have to leave the house or cook or work out. Watch yourself breathe out. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I am hurrying. Yes I am hoping to have epiphanies today. Yes I live for those epiphanies!

Yes I am anxious. Yes I am worried. Yes I am thinking about family and health. Yes I am noticing that I upper limit with health worries and family worries. Yes i am noticing that i don't really upper limit financially anymore so that's cool.

Yes I am breathing out and thinking about friends. Yes I am standing here thinking about the neighbor. Yes I want to be the observer not the thought or the thinker. Yes I am learning about the illusions of the mind. Yes I am hoping to transcend the mind. Yes I want to transcend right now. Yes I am transcending right now.

empty empty empty empty empty

Yes I AM. Yes I am the observer. Yes I am the witness. Yes I am watching my thoughts. Yes I wish i felt high. Yes i've been really missing the kratom. yes i am pretty mad at myself. yes i am breathing out. yes i am breathing in. yes i am annoyed with my mind. yes i am annoyed with identifying with thoughts.

who am i who notices the guilt and shame? Who am i who notices the person feeling regret/ Who am i who notices the obsession with body? Who am i who notices the over identification with body? Who am i who notices the body? Who am i who is so cruel to the body? Who am i who is noticing cruelty? Who am I who is feeling sad? Who am i who is noticing the weather? Who am i who is craving?

WHo am i who notices craving? Who am i who notices the desire to fill a hole? Who am i who notices a hole to be filled? Who am i who notices the desire for drugs and food to fill a hole? who am i who notices the disappointment? Who am i who notices the fury? Who am i who notices the body? Who am i who notices the thoughts??

Who am i who notices the body standing here? "I AM"?? Who am who notices the mind freaking out? Who am i who notices the urge to pee? Who am i who notiices the urge to drink water? Who am i who notices the urge to say fuck it and eat everything in the house? Who am i who notices the urge to binge? Who am i who notices the urge to say fuck it and order kratom? Who am i who notices the urge to say fuck it and get fucked up? Who am i who notices the mind going CRAZY? Who am i who notices the thoughts? Who am i who notices the desire to not take shape??

Who am i who notices the desire to transcend these thoughts? Who am i who notices the call of freedom and the fury of the mind? Who am i who notices the mind freaking out about body and time? Who am i who notices the sadness? Who am i who notices the fear? Who am i who notices the concern?

WHo am i who notices the panic in the mind? Who am i who notices the desire for emptiness? Who am i who notices the peacefulness of this morning. WHo am i who notices perfect timing? Who am i who notices synchronicity? Who am i who wants to straight up discard the mind?? Who am i who notices the desire to listen to mooji 24/7??

Who am i who notices the breathing in? Who am i who notices the breathing out??

WHO AM I??
I AM??
I consciousness am.
Consciousness is here.
I consciousness am here.
Consciousness is here.
Empty empty empty empty empty empty

Who am i who notices the desire to go further? Who am i who notices the memory that it's right here, and there is no distance to travel or journey to take? Who am i who notices the mind baller blocking??

Who am i who notices? Who am i who asks how i can get into that watcher state??

Yes I am watching.
I am loving watching.
I am so curious.
Yes I am enjoying this. Yes I am loving what is.
Thank you. thank you..

Who am I?
I AM
I consciousness am
I consciousness am here
Consciousness is.
consciousness is here.
thank you
yes
thank you
yes
thank you
yes thank you

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.