Consciousness Is

Jessica Mullen

Consciousness Is

Jessica Mullen
Watch yourself be soooo angry. Watch yourself want to laugh at yourself for being so angry. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself feel furious and heated. Watch yourself feel pissed the day got off to a shitty start. Watch yourself want to flip the fuck out. Watch yourself want to scream and throw things and slam doors. Watch yourself want to freak out. Watch yourself be mad. Watch yourself feel the pain in your stomach. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself sneeze. Watch yourself listen to hot since 82. Watch yourself breathe out and feel that pulsing sharp pain. Watch yourself feel pained. Watch yourself be here now. Watch yourself remember Consciousness IS.

Watch yourself feel like you've lost your cool. Watch yourself feel frustrated. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself feel pissed. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself hate the sentence "I love myself." Watch yourself feel hate. Watch yourself feel so angry. Watch yourself want this poison out of you. Watch yourself feel sooooo pissseedddddddddd. Watch yourself feel the pain in your stomach. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself want to die to live. Watch yourself want to kill your ego. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself feel anger. Watch yourself breathe in.

Watch yourself breathe out...

Breathing in i bring energy into my crown chakra
breathing out i activate my crown chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my third eye chakra
breathing out i activate my third eye chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my throat chakra
breathing out i activate my throat chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my heart chakra
breathing out i activate my heart chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my solar plexus chakra
breathing out i activate my solar plexus chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my navel chakra
breathing out i activate my navel chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my root chakra
breathing out i activate my root chakra

thank you for curing me of this anger. thank you for the presence. thank you for the depersonalization. thank you for consciousness is. thank you for the focus on consciousness is. thank you for the control over my attention. thank you for the storm passing. thank you for the peace. thank you for the freedom from the mind. thank you for the spaciousness of presence. thank you for the presence. thank you for the consciousness is. thank you for the pure awareness i am. thank you for i (consciousness) am. thank you for consciousness is.

Watch yourself feel defeated. watch yourself feel drained. watch yourself feel angry. watch yourself want to ruin it all destroy it all. watch yourself want to BREAK THINGS. watch yourself want to lose control and freak the fuck out. watch yourself want to throw things. watch yourself feel mad and in pain. watch yourself feel too warm. watch yourself feel heated. watch yourself feel mad as usual in the morning.

watch yourself feel tired of the way your mornings have been going. i guess you better start getting up earlier. watch yourself feel bitter and disgusted. watch yourself breathe in. watch yourself want to return to your sweet self. watch yourself want to feel better. watch yourself want to feel better. watch yourself play out scenarios in your mind of arguments. watch yourself want to be spiteful. watch yourself hate this part of yourself. watch yourself want to throw up with disgust. watch yourself want to regress 20 years. watch yourself skip this stupid song.

watch yourself feel so angry. watch yourself feel tired of feeling angry.

who am i who notices the anger?
who am who notices this pain in my stomach?
who am i who notices this frustration and bitterness?
who am i who notices the irritation at the blinking cursor on the screen?
who am who notices OH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED AND NOW I'M THE ANGRY ONE?
Who am I who notices the pain in my stomach?
Who am I who notices the desire the throw things and break things and act out?
Who am I who notices the desire to throw my life away and go get drunk?
Who am I who notices the disappointment in reality when i had such a good flying dream?
who am i who notices the anger? who am i who notices the fury? Who am i who notices the impatience?
who am i who notices the self hatred? who am i who notices the hatred of the mind?
who am i who notices the angry feeling?
I DON'T KNOW

i guess the answer is consciousness/ pure awareness?

who am i who notices the person feeling tired and blocked and frustrated and near tears?
who am i who notices the person feeling like life is unfair and annoying?
who am i who notices the person feeling annoyed/?

who am i who notices the fury of lack of presence?
who am i who notices the anger of the thoughts of the mind?
who am i who notices the anger??

consciousness is.

yes i am so angry. yes i am grateful for the morning writing practice to diffuse this bomb. yes i am still frustrated but i feel better. yes i am wanting to practice presence today. yes i am hoping i feel better today. yes i just want to be productive and look and feel my best. yes i am so tired of myself. yes i am so tired of my mind. yes i am wanting to be pure awareness. yes i am tired of the overactive mind. yes i am breathing out. yes i am still annoyed but the energy is draining. yes i am standing here, still feeling the pain in my stomach.

yes i am breathing in. yes i am breathing out. yes i want to feel inspired. yes i want to make something. yes i want to feel better. yes i want some FUCKING EPIPHANIES. yes i want to FEEL BETTER and feel like life is good! yes i am ready for the contrast to be over!!!

What is the contrast?
Waking up and REACTING to my environment and getting furious.
What is the contrast making you ask for?
Waking up and not letting anything leave footprints on my consciousness. Waking up peaceful. Waking up and STAYING present. Waking up feeling present. Staying present and peaceful even when annoying things happen. Staying present and peaceful even when I'm in pain. Staying present and peaceful even when things don't go my way. Staying present and peaceful even when I am disappointed. Staying present and peaceful ESPECIALLY when I'm disappointed or irritated. Instead of disappointed and irritated i want to feel present and peaceful. Tranquil. Without the help of drugs. Naturally.

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.