
Letting go of control
Watch yourself stand at your desk and feel the hot fire of irritation bubbling up. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself want to have a good day. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Saying yes to what is always works.
Yes I am standing at the desk. Yes I am excited for this WF grocery delivery. Yes I am relieved it is Sunday. Yes I am irritated at having to backspace typos. FINGERS JUST DO YOUR FUCKING JOB. Yes I am feeling frustrated. Yes I am feeling annoyed. Yes I am annoyed at feeling annoyed and disappointed every morning. Yes I want to feel pleased and satisfied and proud in the morning. I WANT TO FEEL PLEASED AND SATISFIED IN THE MORNING.
Yes I am standing at my desk listening to emancipator again. Yes I am nervous. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I am frustrated. Yes I am breathing in. yes I am breathing out. Yes I am trying to relax my body and enjoy my day. Yes I am mad at myself for getting irritated at cat messes. Yes I am breathing in. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I am breathing out.
Yes I feel like snapping. Yes I feel like expelling a huge amount of angry energy but not sure how. Yes I am getting angry about the smallest things, like the fuzzy on my computer screen, my dry hands, the ache in my hip muscle.
Yes I am breathing in and trying to calm down. Yes I am dreading doing the taxes for no reason. Yes I am mad at the government. Yes I am frustrated with everything. Yes I am so frustrated with my body. Yes I know I should accept and love my body and i'm having a hard time doing so. Yes I am ready to hang out with people. Yes I am ready for some fresh perspective. Yes I want to let go and stop trying to control so much.
Yes I am breathing in. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I just want to have a good day and feel calm and satisfied and pleased. Yes I want to be less mad and disgusted. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I am breathing out. Yes i just want to have a good day and not be so angry. Yes I want to feel good. Yes I want to feel pleased. Yes I want to feel pleasure. Yes I want to feel joyful and proud of myself. Yes I want to feel relieved. Yes I want to feel less mad. Yes I want to feel relief. Yes I want to enjoy my day.
Yes I am standing at my desk, backspacing typos, mad that i'm only at 458 words but that makes sense bc i don't feel better yet and i am still rushing and controling and angry.
Yes I am breathing out and trying to let go of my anger and frustration. Yes I am remembering I am a powerful witch. Yes I am standing here listening to emancipator. Yes I just want to feel better and have some kratom. Yes I just want kratom. Yes I am mad that it is still so hooked in my brain. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I want to feel good. Yes I want to feel good. Yes I want to feel relieved.
Yes I am frustrated to feel so annoyed and irritated in the morning. Yes I am mad at myself for getting upset over cat messes when i am the one who decided to have cats. Yes I am breathing out and trying to calm down. Yes I am wanting to have a good day. Yes I am frustrated.
Yes I am standing here trying to zoom out. Yes I am standing here trying to feel good. Yes I know i need to stop trying. Yes I am frustrated and i accept it. i am frustrated. i am irritated. i am annoyed. yes i am feeling annoyed. yes i am feeling annoyed. yes i am feeling annoyed by my thoughts. yes i am having trouble even seeing what i'm thinking. yes i am trying to not give a fuck.
yes i am standing here. yes i am wanting to check on my wf order. yes i am breathing in. yes i am breathing out. yes i am really wanting to check on these substitutions but don't want to distract myself. yes i am breathing out. yes i am breathing out. yes i am frustrated. i've noticed i am annoyed and that's ok. i've decided to feel good about that, it's working itself out.
yes i am letting go. yes i am surrendering my preferences. yes i am calming down finally. yes i am choosing to calm down. yes i am choosing to look at my thoughts and let them go. yes i am thinking about this wf order. yes i keep replaying last night in my mind. yes i am letting that go. yes i am letting go. yes i am noticing myself trying to control. or wondering if i should take action. you never have to wonder!
ye si am standing here listening to music and i'm not ufcking backspaceing any more typos. yes i am letting go of my need to control. yes i am breathing in and making peace with what is
yes i am breathing out and letting go of caring.
i've noticed i feel crabby and that's ok. i've noticed i am thinking annoying thoughts and that's ok.
yes i'm standing here and calming down. yes i am standing here listening to music. yes i am smiling. yes i am breathing in. yes i am breathing out. yes i am trying to let go. yes i am going to stop trying. yes i am letting go. yes i am here now. yes i am. yes i am. yes i am. yes i am.
yes. i am standing here. yes i am listening to music. yes i am getting a full breath. yes i am letting go of my thoughts and not giving a fuck. yes i am letting go of control. yes i am letting go of my thoughts about how things should be. yes i am letting go. yes i am free!