Letting go of control

Jessica Mullen

Letting go of control

Jessica Mullen
Watch yourself stand at your desk and feel the hot fire of irritation bubbling up. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself want to have a good day. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Saying yes to what is always works.

Yes I am standing at the desk. Yes I am excited for this WF grocery delivery. Yes I am relieved it is Sunday. Yes I am irritated at having to backspace typos. FINGERS JUST DO YOUR FUCKING JOB. Yes I am feeling frustrated. Yes I am feeling annoyed. Yes I am annoyed at feeling annoyed and disappointed every morning. Yes I want to feel pleased and satisfied and proud in the morning. I WANT TO FEEL PLEASED AND SATISFIED IN THE MORNING.

Yes I am standing at my desk listening to emancipator again. Yes I am nervous. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I am frustrated. Yes I am breathing in. yes I am breathing out. Yes I am trying to relax my body and enjoy my day. Yes I am mad at myself for getting irritated at cat messes. Yes I am breathing in. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I am breathing out.

Yes I feel like snapping. Yes I feel like expelling a huge amount of angry energy but not sure how. Yes I am getting angry about the smallest things, like the fuzzy on my computer screen, my dry hands, the ache in my hip muscle.

Yes I am breathing in and trying to calm down. Yes I am dreading doing the taxes for no reason. Yes I am mad at the government. Yes I am frustrated with everything. Yes I am so frustrated with my body. Yes I know I should accept and love my body and i'm having a hard time doing so. Yes I am ready to hang out with people. Yes I am ready for some fresh perspective. Yes I want to let go and stop trying to control so much.

Yes I am breathing in. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I just want to have a good day and feel calm and satisfied and pleased. Yes I want to be less mad and disgusted. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I am breathing out. Yes i just want to have a good day and not be so angry. Yes I want to feel good. Yes I want to feel pleased. Yes I want to feel pleasure. Yes I want to feel joyful and proud of myself. Yes I want to feel relieved. Yes I want to feel less mad. Yes I want to feel relief. Yes I want to enjoy my day.

Yes I am standing at my desk, backspacing typos, mad that i'm only at 458 words but that makes sense bc i don't feel better yet and i am still rushing and controling and angry.

Yes I am breathing out and trying to let go of my anger and frustration. Yes I am remembering I am a powerful witch. Yes I am standing here listening to emancipator. Yes I just want to feel better and have some kratom. Yes I just want kratom. Yes I am mad that it is still so hooked in my brain. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I want to feel good. Yes I want to feel good. Yes I want to feel relieved.

Yes I am frustrated to feel so annoyed and irritated in the morning. Yes I am mad at myself for getting upset over cat messes when i am the one who decided to have cats. Yes I am breathing out and trying to calm down. Yes I am wanting to have a good day. Yes I am frustrated.

Yes I am standing here trying to zoom out. Yes I am standing here trying to feel good. Yes I know i need to stop trying. Yes I am frustrated and i accept it. i am frustrated. i am irritated. i am annoyed. yes i am feeling annoyed. yes i am feeling annoyed. yes i am feeling annoyed by my thoughts. yes i am having trouble even seeing what i'm thinking. yes i am trying to not give a fuck.

yes i am standing here. yes i am wanting to check on my wf order. yes i am breathing in. yes i am breathing out. yes i am really wanting to check on these substitutions but don't want to distract myself. yes i am breathing out. yes i am breathing out. yes i am frustrated. i've noticed i am annoyed and that's ok. i've decided to feel good about that, it's working itself out.

yes i am letting go. yes i am surrendering my preferences. yes i am calming down finally. yes i am choosing to calm down. yes i am choosing to look at my thoughts and let them go. yes i am thinking about this wf order. yes i keep replaying last night in my mind. yes i am letting that go. yes i am letting go. yes i am noticing myself trying to control. or wondering if i should take action. you never have to wonder!

ye si am standing here listening to music and i'm not ufcking backspaceing any more typos. yes i am letting go of my need to control. yes i am breathing in and making peace with what is
yes i am breathing out and letting go of caring.

i've noticed i feel crabby and that's ok. i've noticed i am thinking annoying thoughts and that's ok.

yes i'm standing here and calming down. yes i am standing here listening to music. yes i am smiling. yes i am breathing in. yes i am breathing out. yes i am trying to let go. yes i am going to stop trying. yes i am letting go. yes i am here now. yes i am. yes i am. yes i am. yes i am.

yes. i am standing here. yes i am listening to music. yes i am getting a full breath. yes i am letting go of my thoughts and not giving a fuck. yes i am letting go of control. yes i am letting go of my thoughts about how things should be. yes i am letting go. yes i am free!

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.