It’s the Act not the Artifact

Jessica Mullen

It’s the Act not the Artifact

Jessica Mullen
Watch yourself sit in the chair, listening to the humidifiers. Watch yourself hope linty comes in here soon. Watch yourself think about counting, 1200 so far today. Watch yourself relax into the now. Watch yourself remember you're an artist and there is no pressure or rush. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself breathe in and be here now. Watch yourself try to relax some more.

Watch yourself rearrange yourself in your chair. Watch yourself think about the candle burning in the dining room. Watch yourself hope it snows a lot. Watch yourself wonder when you're going to make that appointment. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself notice your eye is itchy. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself feel calm and pretty good today. Watch yourself feel proud of yourself for 6 months off kratom and 23 days off binging. Watch yourself breathe out and wonder if you should make these entries private. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself think about making your OF post today.

Watch yourself feel how dry your hands are. Watch yourself think about the snow in Austin. Watch yourself zone out into the flow of writing. Watch yourself still feel a little fancy from last night. Watch yourself breathe in and appreciate your routine. Going to bed by midnight, getting up around 8. You've always wanted this. You made it!

Watch yourself breathe in and relax your body. Watch yourself breathe out and just sit here. Watch yourself remember the wisdom of "be still and know". Watch yourself want to check twitter. Watch yourself remember to put chapstick on but it's too late. Watch yourself think how funny it is to have to time your petroleum application around your use of electronics.

Watch yourself catch a deep breath. Watch yourself hope K wants to eat breakfast right away. Watch yourself feel pretty excited to work out because you feel good in your body today and want to keep it up. Watch yourself think about your to do list and drop the thought quick. Watch yourself breathe out and just try to be here now. Watch yourself try to remember all the things you did yesterday to go to bed feeling so good.

How to feel good!

  • Say yes all day. Yes I am sitting in the chair. Yes I am a little hungry. ESPECIALLY when you don't know exactly what to do next, just sit there and watch your thoughts by saying yes to them. Yes I am sitting in this chair. Yes I am observing my thoughts. Yes I am breathing in. Yes I am breathing out.
  • Practice saying (but more importantly FEELING) "I AM TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH MYSELF!"
  • Flow! Hoop! Dance! Handstands! Be in your body!
  • Write and meditate early
  • Record a meditation video AND a tiktok!
  • Any time you think about someone else's business, remember "ALL IS WELL!" and gtfo their business!
  • Remember YOU ARE AN ARTIST!! Spend your time accordingly! Express yourself! Make your best work!

Watch yourself hear K's alarm going off. Watch yourself breathe in and be here now. Watch yourself feel tension in your hip flexor. Watch yourself want more time to write. Watch yourself feel so calm and peaceful. Watch yourself breathe in and notice the time. Watch yourself breathe out and just be here now. Watch yourself try to remember what else you did to feel good yesterday. Watch yourself reach for your beyond manifestation journal to see if you wrote anything down about it. Watch yourself open the BMJ and see "All is well", oh yeah! Assume all is well!

Watch yourself read over the list you just made and wonder how you can make that into the new worksheet on the new brochure. Watch yourself feel energized! Watch yourself remember that the next 3 days (including today) are the best-feeling days of your cycle. Watch yourself think that you could probably say this whole week is the best feeling week of your cycle. The spring. It seems days 9-14 of your cycle are the best mood wise and weight wise.

Watch yourself laugh a little to yourself over your obsession with your weight. Watch yourself justify in your mind why you're like this. You like being light. You like not thinking about food all the time. You like feeling disciplined. You like feeling in control. You like feeling nourished but light. You like caring about things other than food. You like the concept of a starving artist. You like the idea of caring so much about your art you forget to eat (ha!).

Watch yourself listen to linty jump on the day bed and chirp. Watch yourself beckon her to jump in your lap and she does. Watch yourself feel pretty excited about this day. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself want to go back through your BMJ to see what other good feeling gems there are.

Watch yourself breathe in and be here now. Watch yourself breathe out and feel calm. You have your shit together! Watch yourself breathe out and let go of your resistance. You are an artist, and you have your shit together. Watch yourself wish for popularity lol. Watch yourself remember to care more about the art than the artifact or the exhibition or the attention or the praise. It's about the act!!

Watch yourself breathe out and want to DO SO MUCH! Watch yourself want to redesign your website and work on SoLD and be avant garde. Watch yourself want to have the best day of your life! Watch yourself breathe in and hear K's alarm go off again. Watch yourself breathe out and know you're going to have a great day, because you say yes to what is and you're an artist and you're totally in love with yourself! You're all set!

Today's list:

  • Pump
  • Record/tiktok
  • Post vid
  • Orders
  • OF post
  • MMR edits/cover

I am focused. I am saying yes to what is. I am loving what is! I am creating. I am making my best work. I am an artist. I am totally in love with myself. I am love yeah love! I am flexible and flowing!

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.