Permission to Enjoy

Jessica Mullen

Permission to Enjoy

Jessica Mullen
Watch yourself sneeze 3 times. Watch yourself feel so groggy today. Watch yourself want more coffee. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself stand up straighter. Watch yourself wonder if the deep dream is good. Watch yourself feel so groggy! Watch yourself like the song.

Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself feel a little out of it. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself feel tense but slow. Watch yourself space out. Watch yourself want to just be. Watch yourself feel kind of pissed. Watch yourself catch a whiff of the candle burning in the dining room. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself look for things to blame for your weird mood. Watch yourself want to just go back to bed.

Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself notice how much better typing feels with fresh cut nails. Watch yourself miss pwny. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself want to make better work. Watch yourself want to feel successful.

Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself want to have a good day. Watch yourself feel betrayed by your body. Watch yourself feel like you need to make friends with your body. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself unfocus your eyes. Watch yourself feel a little pouty. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself want to have a good day.

Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself want to enter the perspective of total perfection. Watch yourself think "I can't believe we have to work out after breakfast." Watch yourself want to do it. Watch yourself want to be more fit. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself feel sick of everything. Watch yourself want some fresh ideas. Watch yourself want fresh air. Watch yourself want something outside of you to make you feel good. Watch yourself want drugs. Watch yourself want kratom. Watch yourself not like that feeling of craving.

Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out and try to be patient. Watch yourself want more praise. Watch yourself want external validation. Watch yourself know you have to give it to yourself.

Jessica, I love and accept you exactly the way you are. Jessica, you are doing everything right. Jessica you are in the right place at the right time. Jessica it's all working out for you. You can trust the perfect timing. You can trust where you are. THere is no need to resist how you feel. Just say yes to what is.

Yes to my weight being 124 despite feeling like I didn't eat anything to cause that. Yes to my mood being dictated by my weight. Yes to disordered thinking. Yes to feeling so groggy. Yes to feeling out of it. Yes to feeling impatient. Yes to dreading class. Yes to the mind trying to escape. Yes to wanting to read but not knowing when you'll get to. Yes to loose ends. Yes to wanting everything to be done, NOW. Yes to sneezing. Yes to feeling dry. Yes to breathing in. Yes to breathing out.

Yes to feeling irritable. Yes to wanting more coffee. Yes to wanting breakfast. Yes to wanting to control. Yes to feeling low. Yes to feeling crabby and not knowing why. Yes to breathing out. Yes to wanting more coffee. Yes to feeling groggy. Yes to feeling like my body betrayed me. Yes to feeling separate. Yes to feeling alone. Yes to feeling the opposite of playful. Yes to feeling serious. Yes to feeling defensive and sensitive. Yes to wanting a massage. Yes to wanting to cry. Yes to wanting to be 18 on x in college. Yes to wanting external feeling good. Yes to wanting drugs. Yes to wanting kratom. Yes to wanting something outside of me. Yes to feeling like a failure. Yes to wanting to feel better.

Yes to standing at my desk. Yes to feeling down. Yes to wanting to feel better. Yes to wondering where the fuck my stimmy is. Yes to wanting to chew gum before breakfast. Yes to my cluttered desk. Yes to wanting everything to be perfect. Yes to being called out by the book I'm reading. Yes to wanting more success. Yes to wondering why I'm not more successful. Yes to feeling disappointed. That's what I feel. Disappointed.

Yes! I am so disappointed! I'm going to stop pretending I don't like feeling disappointed! I'm giving myself permission to enjoy feeling disappointed.

Yes I feel dread. Yes I feel overwhelmed by the doing. Yes I just want to go back to bed. Yes I want more stimulants. Yes I want drugs. Yes I want something outside of me to make me feel better. Yes I am being mean to myself. Yes I am critical of myself. Yes I just want to love what is.

Breathing in I am loving what is.
Breathing out I am loving what is. I am loving what is. I am loving what is.

Breathing in I am loving what is.
Breathing out I am loving what is. I am loving what is.

Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance!

Breathing in I bring energy into my crown chakra!
Breathing out I activate my crown chakra!

Breathing in I bring energy into my third eye chakra!
Breathing out I activate my third eye chakra!

Breathing in I bring energy into my throat chakra
breathing out i activate my throat chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my heart chakra
breathing out i activate my heart chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my solar plexus chakra
breathing out i activate my solar plexus chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my navel chakra
breathing out i activate my navel chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my root chakra
breathing out i activate my root chakra

thank you for helping me get out of my head and into the moment. thank you for helping me help others. thank you for the good attitude. thank you for helping me validate myself. thank you for helping me feel successful. thank you for the success!!

the success i am seeking
- 115
- youtube subs blowing up
- faire orders every day
- blog posts/writeups/insta shares of sold stuff every day
- attention! i want attention! GIVE ME ATTENTION!

I'm going to stop pretending I don't like not getting enough attention. I give myself permission to enjoy not getting enough attention!!

Today's list!

  1. Grit
  2. Call
  3. Cap
  4. Record
  5. Movie night!
Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.