Hello Guilt! Welcome!

Hello Guilt! Welcome!

Jessica Mullen
Watch yourself feel unexpectedly hungry, too soon. Watch yourself feel tired of feeling hungry. Watch yourself look in the pwny cam. Watch yourself feel guilty for not accomplishing more on your new journal since wednesday. Watch yourself feel lazy despite all your efforts. Watch yourself wonder how to alchemize this feeling.

Hello laziness. Hello tiredness. Yes, please make me drag my feet and feel no motivation today. Yes, please make me resist doing any kind of work. Yes, please make me fall behind on the schedule I want to keep. Please devour my ego. Please, thank you. I love you tiredness. I love you lack of motivation. I love you, thank you.

Watch yourself feel judgmental. Watch yourself wish dinner would cook itself. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself wish you had some more energy or motivation. Watch yourself realize you feel guilty for not working on your project and now it's too late to get anything done before your meeting.

Watch yourself feel guilt.

Hello guilt. Welcome to my world! Please, make me feel bad about myself and compensate by wanting to eat. Please make me feel like a loser. Please make me feel like I am not good enough. Please make me feel like I'm doing something wrong. Please make my life miserable and make me act out. Please make me reach for any and all things that will artificially give me energy. Please make me feel like a failure. Please make question my worth. Please make me wonder what's wrong with me. Welcome to my world guilt! I love feeling guilty! I am so comfortable feeling guilty! I hardly know you're there because I'm so used to you! I love you guilt. I love feeling unworthy. I love feeling like a loser. I love feeling like I'm not good enough, because then I don't have to show that I am! I love you guilt, welcome to my world. Please make my life feel flat and boring. Please make me act out and feel sorry for myself. I love you guilt! I love you! Thank you!

Watch yourself feel yourself getting close to transmutation. Feel yourself feel grateful to have new ideas about transmutation. Watch yourself get annoyed you're hungry already. Watch yourself want to control yourself so bad!

Watch yourself feel the minutes ticking by before you have to make dinner. 17 minutes remain. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself look at pwny. Watch yourself reach for a sip of lime bubbly. Watch yourself watch pwny stretch. Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself wish you could regulate your energy better. Watch yourself feel a little angry at... and you know it's just a distraction from the present.

Watch yourself breathe in. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself remember to smile. Watch yourself remember your task is to feel enthusiastic!

Remember your epiphany on Wednesday?? Go back to that!!!

Yes my jaw feels tight. Yes I am listening to music I like! (Clams Casino). Yes I am breathing in. Yes I am breathing out. Yes I am dreading making dinner, again. Yes I want to have fun and be light. Yes I am remembering my power. Yes I am feeling energized now.

Yes I just took another sip of bubbly. Yes I really like this song (Crystals). Yes I feel the cool breeze on my legs. Yes I am learning presence and acceptance and allowing and transmutation. Yes I am accepting all that is. Yes I am remembering to say yes! Yes! Yes! Yes I am remembering some tasks I want to do and realizing that is sapping some motivation. Yes thinking about my to do list saps my motivation.

Yes I am picking at my cuticles and yes I am stopping before it becomes anything serious. Yes I just remembered about cooking dinner again. Yes I am tired of cooking dinner and would rather just eat a quest bar. Yes I am remembering I also want to use up the food in my fridge.

Yes I just looked at the recipe and it looks good. Yes I am getting hungry but it will be fun to cook. Yes I am feeling anxious to get it over with. Yes I am mudding in the future. Yes i am here now. Yes I am shivering because I am here now and I am also chilly. Yes I am wearing a long sleeve and a hoodie in august. Yes I am listening to lil peep x clams. Yes I am breathing in. Yes I am breathing in!

Yes I am breathing out. Yes I am remembering enthusiasm. Yes I am remembering gummies. Yes I am remembering life is supposed to be fun. Yes I am realizing I've been feeling uptight. Yes I want to work harder on this journal. Yes I feel pressure to create. Yes I am breathing in. Yes I am breathing in!

Yes I am breathing out. Yes i am listening to a new song. Yes I am still breathing out. Yes I am opening my lips. Yes I am breathing in. Yes I am remembering my dream. Yes I am feeling a little anxious. Yes I am remembering to welcome my thoughts and emotions. Yes I am remembering feeling is the secret.

Yes I am listening to music. Yes I just cracked a smile. Yes I am tabbing over to the library page to see if they checked in my books yet. Yes my balance is till 46.99. Yes I feel guilty for not returning those books for so long. Yes welcome guilt. Yes guilt please sap my energy. Yes please make me want to overeat to avoid you. Yes I feel guilty! Yes I feel lazy! Yes I feel not good enough because I have been resting! Yes I feel guilty when I rest! Yes I feel guilty when I rest! Please make my rest time less enjoyable because I feel guilty when I rest! I love you guilt! Please make me feel bad about myself! Please equate my worth with productivity! Please make me value myself less!

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.
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