watch me

Jessica Mullen

watch me

Jessica Mullen
jessica mullen
need for attention = "watch me!"
but you need to watch yourself
watch yourself ...

watch yourself listen to music and feel your foot bow in.
watch yourself hear the song switch. watch yourself hear a new song come on.

watch yourself listen to k do the dishes. watch yourself feel so grateful that she came in at the end. watch yourself listen to the pandora playing on alexa. watch yourself feel kinda nauseated. watch yourself watch pwny walk in the room. watch yourself feel like you have an upset stomach. watch yourself watch pwny jump on the bed. watch yourself watch the word count switch to 99.

watch yourself wonder where the day went. watch yourself recall exactly where it went:
- eating yogurt and granola on the porch
- deep dreaming photos all morning and signing up for a patreon for deep dream generator
- body pump
- eating cherries and an apple
- making and eating a smoothie
- making broth from veggie scraps
- slicing cukes for cuke salad
- making texas caviar
- making cuke salad
- making chickpeas with the broth on the stove
- cutting up all the cardboard under the shelf

Watch yourself think, "i can't believe that took all day". Watch yourself stand in a weird way. Watch yourself notice pain in your middle back. Watch yourself breathe out. Watch yourself chew cinnamon gum. Watch yourself space out. Watch yourself want a gummie. Watch yourself space out again. Watch yourself want to go get the lacrosse ball. Watch yourself worry. Watch yourself chew gum. watch yourself breathe in.

Watch yourself look at pwny so cutely curled up in the bed. Watch yourself notice your computer telling you to back up.

Watch yourself listen to your stomach gurgling. Watch yourself doubt the quality of your nudes. Watch yourself feel tension in your back. Watch yourself feel to warm in sweats when just an hour ago you were shivering. Watch yourself listen to screams of children (?) in the block behind you. Watch yourself have wild mood swings.

Watch yourself space out. Watch yourself remember to exhale. Watch yourself wonder what to listen to. Watch yourself feel hunger. Watch yourself wonder what to do next.

Watch yourself wish for inspiration for your next video. Watch yourself wish you were more focused. Watch yourself wish you could let go of productivity mindset. Watch yourself relax your body. Watch yourself inhale.

Watch yourself exhale. Watch yourself wonder what to do.Watch yourself check the status of your deep dream. Watch yourself look at pwny in the pwny cam. Watch yourself wonder what your favorite youtubers are up to. Watch yourself look at the word count and wonder how it is not higher by now. Watch yourself wonder what the heck those kids are screaming about at 10:30 pm. Watch yourself remember the state of the world.

Watch yourself want to cut your nails. Watch yourself want to chew gum. Watch yourself constantly trying to fill a hole. Watch yourself look into the hole. It's huge. Watch yourself adjust your feet. Watch yourself shift back and forth. Watch yourself stand on the outsides of your feet. Watch yourself feel weird.

Watch yourself look AGAIN for something to put in your mouth. watch yourself wonder if you should take off your socks. watch yourself hold your breath for no reason. watch yourself scratch your back.

watch yourself wish to be a better friend. watch yourself wish to connect and love more. watch yourself wish to be ...

watch yourself want the feeling back. watch yourself wish you had recorded already. watch yourself get annoyed at your moodiness. watch yourself wish you were ...

watch yourself remember to exhale. watch yourself feel uneasy. watch yourself wish you didn't get so hooked. watch yourself learn how to let go of attachment. watch yourself hear the fridge making all sorts of noises. watch yourself listen to linty eating kib.

watch yourself worry about your knee, your health, your family, what your friends think about you. watch yourself want to be yourself again. watch yourself want some more meaning. watch yourself want to be an example, a leader. watch yourself want to pull yourself together!

watch yourself be grateful for the la croix.

watch yourself feel so tense and want a massage. watch yourself wish that photoshoot turned out better. watch yourself breathe in. watch yourself breathe out. watch yourself feel a little ... scattered... anxious... panicked.

watch yourself still listening to people screaming at 11:01pm. watch yourself wonder when the boopie is going to bip. watch yourself wish you could communicate more clearly. watch yourself

watch yourself breathe in
watch yourself breathe out

watch yourself want to start over, want a fresh start. watch yourself wishing you would change. watch yourself thinking you should spend more time counting or something!

watch yourself spiral into more and more worry. watch yourself know what you have to do and hope you follow through. watch yourself shake your damn bake at yourself. watch yourself wish you would be nicer to yourself. watch yourself feel extremely anxious.

grateful for my health and home and friends and family. grateful for this apartment. grateful for my wife.

grateful for deep conscious breathing.

watch yourself wonder why watching is leading to this panic.
watch yourself realize it was GOING ON FACEBOOK that made you panic.

watch yourself make a list of things you want to change:
- no MORE SCROLLING!!!! stay off fb entirely!!!
- no MORE TEA!

that's it! THEN i'll be happy!


watch yourself tell yourself to relax. watch yourself tell yourself to let go. watch yourself say to yourself i want to wake up in the morning a new person. i want to wake up in the morning with my priorities straight. i want to wake up in the morning and do what i know is right

watch yourself doubt yourself. watch yourself be mean to yourself. watch yourself wish for something DIFFERENT!!

watch yourself tell yourself tomorrow will be better
tomorrow will be better
tomorrow will be better
tomorrow will be better
tomorrow will be better

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.