Quar Day … 80 something? I’ve lost count

Jessica Mullen

Quar Day … 80 something? I’ve lost count

Jessica Mullen
the neighbor's windchime sounds like the first few notes to Walk of Life by Dire Straits
protests everywhere
america is...

we lie on the balcony and wait for the wild horses to come by
sucking frozen mango and grapes and flaºvor ice
simplifying meals
watching the baby birds, it must be about time for them to leave the nest

a half-hearted workout because i'm still sore from yesterday
hard to tell my body to stop building muscle
headphones on but nothing playing, what would even fit this mood

the water tastes funny when it gets warm
it was 92º upstairs
we say we're going to eat dinner and put it off for hours
"are you taking kratom every day now?"

planning our balcony privacy fence
trying to remind myself to stop buying stuff
use what we have
obviously - the SoLD banner!

today we got a new coffee maker
the old one broke on sunday
we remembered we had a moka pot and used it for 2 days
what a pain in the ass for half a cup of coffee!

caffeine tolerance through the roof
weed tolerance through the roof
kratom tolerance heading towards the roof

in a bit of a purgatory, a waiting room
waiting for the wild horses to show up
half heartedly emailing for rent assistance
waiting for a miracle

but i am so grateful for my health and my wife and my kitties and my home
my time affluence, my kind neighbors, the warm weather
i am so grateful for internet and save a lot,
i am so grateful for the promise of rain

about to sign up for a pro zoom account to host a shower
these events all feel... pre-orchestrated
like natural, but of course, they were written in the script
by a version of myself

i like to just sit and let my consciousness expand to fill the room
i like to remember "i am here for this moment"
i like to remember thank you is the vibration of success
i like to remember

trying to break the habit of looking for the answers outside of me
what habit can replace it? how can i make going within more habitual?

so i guess i need to tell a new story
because i'm fixated on destruction
fixated on revolution
fixated on enjoying watching it burn

it's time to create the new world...
to remember it
it's time to see the perfection unfolding
like we wouldn't have wanted it to happen any other way

the earth is healed
the people in love
the paradigm shifted
the veil, lifted

i see the value in not tweeting out every single thought
not posting the photos exactly the moment they happen
it got me in the habit of constant documentation
and now i have all these good photos that are too tacky to post

so i have a small accumulation... and i can see how these items may become something larger
something bigger than me
poetry, an experience, a collage, a new perspective
a new me
always looking for the new me

i wonder what steve pavlina is up to
finally getting hungry
thanks universe
so grateful dinner is made
so grateful for the microwave
so grateful for the bean burgers and snow peas
so grateful for the boopies
so grateful for the people who are kind to us
who bring things to our house

i try to just sit back and listen now,
allow it, accept it
accept it but intend change
allow change
create change
reveal the change

god please make me brave
god please help me share
god please help me channel love
god please help me be here now

i vow to clean the dishrack
i vow to get off my phone
i vow to welcome the wild horses
put out food and water for them
make them a home here

i vow to create
and create
and create
and create

and love yeah love yeah love yeah love yeah love yeah love

i vow to be patient
i am patient
i vow to be free
i am free
i vow to give
i am giving
i vow to uplift
i am uplifting
i vow to treasure this time
i am treasuring this time
i vow to be here for this moment
i am here for this moment
i vow to enjoy being
i am enjoying being
i vow to take care of myself
i am taking care of myself
i vow to create my best work
i am creating my best work
i vow to trust the process of life
i am trusting the process of life

and above all
i vow to put out food for the wild horses
and i vow to listen for them

i am putting out food for the wild horses
i am listening for them

i am love

i am allowing peace and wellbeing to flow
i am living the magick life
i am stepping into my power
i am so grateful to be here
i am so grateful for this time
i am so grateful

118.5 today. i like that one pretty good.
in the 80s today. i like that too.
i am enjoying being here.

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.