How do I get conscious of the presence of god within me?
One way is to say
Breathing in I know I'm god breathing in
Breathing out I know I'm god breathing out
One way is to chant
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo
Love yeah love
This is it
Watch the movie
We haven't left the house since we walked a mile on the track on Wednesday. We spent a lot of time on the balcony on Friday. It's Sunday. Need to get some fresh air tomorrow.
Today I got up around 9 and came downstairs... did my morning essentials (including coffee and filling humidifiers) then sat down to do my usual EFT/chakra alignment/meditating/counting, but as soon as I sat down, a tickle in my mind made me start shopping... Yesterday we were talking about going to Rite Aid for cash, and then I started thinking about the things I would buy there when we went. But then the more I saw the news and thought about it, the more I wanted to avoid leaving altogether. I really want to avoid the pharmacy!
So I woke up this morning wondering if I could get some OTC stuff on walmart... and ordered a bunch of tylenol and a pack of theraflu. I feel like such an alarmist but if the gov of NY is saying it's going to peak at the end of April... I'm not trying to look for tylenol then. Nor do I want to wait until we run out of floss the first week of may to start thinking about my tooth care supplies.
We both had dental cleanings scheduled on April 1, and now I'm like... when are we ever going to get to go to the dentist? The office is closed and diverting supplies to the hospitals. So who knows? That's why I started freaking out about floss and toothpaste... We still have one brand new floss and one brand new toothpaste, but we'll be out of both by May. ANd what if the supply chain breaks down? This order I made is already not going to get here until April! Usually it takes two days...
So I am acknowledging my fear and lack mindset... and I know it may seem I am overpreparing... but I like to look at it like a spell... if I have the stuff I think I need, I'm so much less likely to need it! I intend for 2021 to come around and I haven't even opened any of the tylenols... Much preferable scenario right??
ANd I got some coconut oil... for many reasons... and I got some more chocolate chips.. because it's my only source of chocolate and I NEED CHOCOLATE. And I got some pet stain remover spray (...) and 1 bag of cat treats. Really not that outlandish!!!
Last night I dreamt of looking out the window and seeing a huge wave coming for us... And as it crashed against the building, I saw both scenarios play out, one where the glass windows broke, and one where they didn't.
So after shopping, Kelly got up and we argued about the walmart order because I made it while she was asleep and she thought I was panic buying behind her back, but i just wanted to order these cat treats that were saying "Order now! Only 2 left!"
But ugh I cried and apologized for not consulting her though later she was like, you don't have to consult me when you want to shop lol
It was an emotional morning and it's the first day of my period and I needed to cry.
But now that walmart stuff is on the way and I can rest easy for one more day.
ANd this other part of me wants to believe all the conspiracy theory memers who are like, "Where's all the footage of the overflowing hospitals?? Where's the evidence??" ALl these famous people "testing positive" without symptoms. IDK man this is a weird time.
Ohio gov issued a "Stay at Home" order today, staring at midnight tonight.
So we're not going anywhere. You can still get food and grocery shop and take walks etc. But now they can legally enforce the social distancing.
I have no interest in leaving the house whatsoever.
ANd then this morning linty had shit all over her foot and tracked it all over and it was just ... over the top.
But my life is really good and blessed and I am so grateful to have my health. I let the stress get to me a little today but I am remembering how lucky I am.