I CAN CHOOSE LOVE YEAH LOVE and a dear diary for the quar records

Jessica Mullen

I CAN CHOOSE LOVE YEAH LOVE and a dear diary for the quar records

Jessica Mullen
So happy and grateful to be awake and alive! SO happy and grateful to have plenty of coffee! So happy and grateful to always have plenty! So happy and grateful to have internet! So happy and grateful to feel better already! So happy and grateful to be here now! So happy and grateful to have a tushy! So happy and grateful to have plenty of water and food. So happy and grateful the rent and bills are paid. So happy and grateful to be raising my vibration! So happy and grateful to have friends! SO happy and grateful to get texts. So happy and grateful to be at peace with what is. So happy and grateful I know it's all working out for me. So happy and grateful to trust the process of life. So happy and grateful to be in the flow.

So happy and grateful to trust the process of life. SO happy and grateful to have people to talk to. SO happy and grateful I know I can relax and enjoy life today. So happy and grateful to breathe and lighten up! SO happy and grateful to have music to listen to. SO happy and grateful to have streaming services. So happy and grateful to feel motivated. So happy and grateful to feel better already. SO happy and grateful to trust the process of life. SO happy and grateful I can just breathe and relax. SO happy and grateful I can play and have fun. SO happy and grateful I can choose love yeah love. I CAN CHOOSE LOVE YEAH LOVE.

SO happy and grateful to feel better already. So happy and grateful doing my writing always helps. SO happy and grateful I can train my attention. So happy and grateful I can trust the process of life. So happy and grateful I can lighten up!

12:25pm
Dear Diary,
This morning someone canceled their subscription to our Magickal Library. And then Planet Fitness autodrafted my monthly membership fee, even though the location is closed. It sent me into a spiral of fear. My lower back started hurting really bad. I know I am experiencing a lack mindset. I want to take control of my attention. I want to feel better. I want to feel better about money. I am going to apply for unemployment today. I also got billed $58 for our Mailchimp subscription today. Which is fine, but now I feel a lot of pressure to send out emails to the SoLD list. I want income. I want to have a good attitude. I want to feel better.

We had dave's and whole foods delivered two days ago, so we still have fresh food. We have bananas and apples and spinach and a little broccoli left. We have tons of potatoes and onions. And our pantry is soooo stocked with beans and rice etc. I just boiled our broth scraps for a couple hours and we're making black beans and black eyed peas in the crock pots today.

I can feel myself losing my patience today but really i probably just need to cry. I already did the laundry this morning so we can use the laundry room before our downstairs neighbor gets home. She's still going to work. I hope she's ok.

I am having a hard time today. We haven't left the house to go anywhere since last monday (the 9th) except the mailbox once (last wednesday, 6 days ago) and on Sunday we ran at the track. We are self isolating, there isn't a quarantine yet, but we expect it is coming. We are blessed to have enough food, I've been saving our recyclable containers like OJ jug to fill with filtered water and putting it upstairs in the closet just in case.

I hope my parents don't have it. I hope my siblings don't have it. I hope my friends don't have it. I want to have a good attitude. But today I am feeling a little ... frustrated and scared. The money thing just hit me. We're ok, we have tax savings to pay the rent. I sure as shit am not paying my taxes until the gov lays out some kind of money relief plan.

Cleaned my phone for the first time ever lol. Hands are so dry from washing, but they're always dry and I always wash a lot because of cleaning up cat messes. I'm waiting on our last walmart grocery delivery today. It contains hair conditioner, clif bars (coffee collection, the only flavor left), more coffee, pecans, chocolate chips, and a box of fiber one bars. We certainly won't run out of food. So very grateful I had the resources to order groceries.

Still waiting on 3 more packages: we have 10 Cult of Counting Handbooks on the way, our regular order of Dropps laundry detergent, and I ordered a bottle of Thieves essential oil from young living. That shit always helps my throat and immune system. We still have a little left in our bottle but i've been drinking a drop every day and want another for the months coming ahead.

Today I am feeling so much pressure to SELL. ANd create. I want to send out a SoLD email about our free resources and hopefully some traffic will spur some digital sales. I'm also going to apply for that unemployment. And I want to record a 15 minute meditation for our subscribers. I should do that soon.

I just want to stay calm and patient and positive. I want to uplift and inspire and lead by example. I want to trust the process of life. I want to make income like netflix is still making income. I want planet fitness to suspend charges! JFC! I want to get a traffic spike from people using our resources and sharing them. I want our resources to help. I want to be a thought leader. I want to have a good attitude and a unique perspective. I want to remember to breathe consciously and REMEMBER LOVE YEAH LOVE. I Want to remember to be grateful.

Breathing in I know I'm breathing in
Breathing out I know I'm breathing out

Breathing in, THANK YOU!
Breathing out THANK YOU for this breath!

Breathing in LOVE YEAH LOVE
Breathing out LOVE YEAH LOVE!

I want all human life to be spared but I also want this to result in MASSIVE CHANGE IN OUR SOCIETY. I want UBI and I want free healthcare and I want this country to pull it together! I want CHANGE! I know this pandemic is for the best of the planet and society. I just need to be patient, grateful, and loving. That's all I can do.

I love you and I hope you and yours are doing ok.

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.

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