So happy and grateful to be awake and alive! So grateful to be in a schedule! So grateful to have so many patterns!
Groceries!
Sleeping!
Tea and abe!
Pizza parties!
Videos!
Counting!
Morning ritual!
LMOD!

So happy and grateful to lighten up and enjoy life! So happy and grateful for endless coffee! So happy and grateful for sales and orders and payments! So happy and grateful to let life live me! So happy and grateful to enjoy being! So happy and grateful to surrender to the present moment! So happy and grateful to feel good in my body!

So happy and grateful to lighten up and be here now! So happy and grateful to surrender! So happy and grateful to feel energized and under the influence of source! So happy and grateful to be under the influence of source! So happy and grateful to be under the influence of love! SO happy and grateful to be here now! SO happy and grateful to feel focused and in the flow!

Breathing in I love myself!
Breathing out I don't give a fuck!

I am under the influence of source!
Love is my source!
Love yeah love!
Nam myoho renge kyo!
I accept and embrace it as it is!

I intend to be a match to a new creative project. I intend to be creative just for fun! I intend to be friendly and loving! I intend to be a match to love! I intend to let go of my attachments. I intend to STAY HERE AND ENJOY. I intend to love myself and not give a fuck. I intend to be here now. I intend to wake up in the dream. I intend to celebrate and have fun! I intend to enjoy being!

What feels fun?
Eating a lot
Throwing it up
Getting drunk
Adderall
Kratom
Being in NYC
Tripping hard
Being popular
Being loving
Knowing how to speak to people
Some sort of creative project...
Some how finding a way to express myself and this self destructive energy
Being present somehow
Getting better at being present
Being nicer to myself
Crying
Getting a lot of money
Having my loans canceled
Sensory deprivation floating
Swimming
GETTING DRUNK
going to a bar
meeting friends at a bar
saying fuck it and self destructing
going WILD
Kratom
Adderall
Something to make me focus on these mundane tasks like finishing this deck and writing this copy and doing these book edits
BEING POPULAR
Being loved
Getting a massage
Having a deep talk, while intoxicated
Being intoxicated
Revisiting my old lifestyle circa 2013
Fighting?! What?!
Being explosive
Figuring out what to make

What should I make?
I want to paint but don't know what or where, I want it to not be messy or cold
I want to THROW PAINT AT THE WALL
I want to paint VIOLENTLY
I want to be violent
I want an aura of violent paint
I want something more enthralling than checking for likes
I want to punch through this reality into a different dimension
Rip this reality apart.
Not that I don't love it... I just want to ACT OUT
Stop being so fucking sober

I want to be in a warm paint bath
Lashing out
Paint flying everywhere on the grid
I want to stuff my skull with paint
I want to drink paint and throw it up
I want to smash things
I want to DESTROY

And I want to feel love and playful and fun
LOVE PLAY FUN
FUN PLAY LOVE
PLAY FUN LOVE
PLAY LOVE FUN

I want people to play with.
I want playmates.

I want to have a paint mosh pit
I WANT TO BE A FUCKING STAR

"POPULAR PEOPLE REACH OUT TO OTHERS" - gala darling

I intend to reach out to others! I intend to extrovert a little bit! I intend to be kind and compassionate! I intend to reach out to others! I intend to REACH OUT TO OTHERS! I intend to reach out to others! I intend to talk to people! I intend to be interested in other people! I intend to love myself and not give a fuck! I intend to be at peace with what is! I intend to be kinder! I intend to love yeah love!

I INTEND TO LOVE FOR REAL

I intend to LOVE!!

I intend to be my reason for feeling good.
I intend to love yeah love.
I intend to reach out to other people!
I intend to be my reason for feeling good. I intend to love myself and not give a fuck!

I intend to be under the influence of source!
I intend to be loving!
I intend to accept it as it is and be present.

I WISH FOR SOMETHING THAT I CAN USE IN MY HEAD TO INSTANTLY BECOME PRESENT!!

Nam myoho renge kyo

Breathing in I know I'm breathing in
Breathing out I know I'm breathing out Breathing out I know I'm breathing out
like why did i just get lost on my phone? when i'm out here trying to be present?
no idea

Breathing in I know i'm breathing in
breathing out i know i'm breathing out

Nam myoho renge kyo

Love yeah love

I want to be focused
I want to feel better
I want to be my reason for feeling good
I want to remember to be god breathing in

Breathing in I am god breathing in
Breathing out I am god breathing out

I am love yeah love
I am accepting it as it is
I am chanting NMRK
I am going to bed feeling good
I am in love with myself and my life
I am so grateful for where I am
I am at peace with what is
I am god breathing in
I am god breathing out
I am love yeah love
I am in the flow
I am feeling creative and inspired
I am expressing myself
I am letting life live me
I am present
I am here now
I am god breathing in
I am god breathing out
I am love yeah love
I am nam myoho renge kyo
I am in the flow
I am allowing well being
I am in the right place at the right time
I am god breathing in
I am god breathing out