it makes it easier to see my thoughts
notice what it is i'm thinking
and focusing on
and then gives me a choice as to what to focus on next
hooping helps get me back in my body
off my computer
i get so entranced by the computer
thinking i have to solve every problem upon waking
i have to answer this email
fix this plugin
try this other plugin
search forums
turn things off and on again
still don't know what recaptcha isn't working
going to uninstall contact form 7
and try a different plugin or something
i mean turn off recaptcha integration on contact form 7 i'm not going to uninstall it lol

so i had this terrible headache
from stressing about how to get shit done
ran myself a tiny bit ragged
too much exercise not enough food
not enough sleep
and wake up in a bad mood big surprise
jump straight into trying to fix wordpress problems
and i wonder why the headache won't go away

so i wrestled with it and while i was trying to close some tabs i saw i still had the osho zen tarot deck open and hadn't gotten my reading yet
clicked to get my reading so i could close the tab

THE CREATOR

oh right I'm the creator I better do some writing before trying to deal with this day
told keke i'll do the litter boxes after i do my writing and she agrees saying "you gotta line up the energy first"
i intend to remember that
more
i gotta line up the energy first
i'm watching the reflection of a bird in the window. oh shit it's actually a squirrel on the gutter, doing who knows what.

squirrels are in full effect here
i ...love them

trying to keep up all the elements i want flowing
friends
family
sold
meditation
meditation videos
replying
emails
exercise
diet
laundry
cleaning

gettin glost in muy thoughts thinking about to do lists so let's go back to being the creator

breathing in i bring energy into my crown chakra
breathing out i activate my crown chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my third eye chakra
breathing out i activate my third eye eye chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my throat chakra
breathing out i activate my throat chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my heart chakra
breathing out i activate my heart chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my solar plexus chakra
breathing out i activate my solar plexus chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my navel chakra
breathing out i activate my navel chakra

breathing in i bring energy into my root chakra
breathing out i activate my root chakra

presence is all that i need, all that i am
all else is illusion
the infinite timeless unfolding moment

i must choose to choose presence

thank you for helping me choose presence
presence is the only competition that matters
are you present or not? those present are the winners...
because it's naturally who we are
only your thoughts could create a narrative where you are a loser........

presence is the key
it's not a competition
but it's a yes or no
those who are a yes
they're already here
they've won

in out

trying to come up with a mental code that reminds me that presence is the key, the point of all the attention training.

like,
presence in out

but like the word presence... i can see it losing meaning
be here now but... it's like i need both the reminder that presence is the point of singular focus, and also what should my singular focus be?

just gotta try to watch my thoughts more and more and i think resting the attention on the breath is as good as any
in
out

thank you for helping me be here now
thank you for helping me stay here
thank you for helping me wake up in the dream
take my own advice
thank you for helping be here now
thank you for reminding me i am the creator
thank you for all the little help
i am so excited to remember the bigger picture
die to live
die to live
die to live

i'll get to the recaptcha when i get there
because i'm here now
grateful dead said "here" the same moment i typed that

i am grateful

I am so grateful for my health and kitties and Keke and home and family and friends. I am so grateful for internet and writing. i am so grateful for the grateful dead. i am so grateful for my computer and phone. i am so grateful to be feeling so much better. i am so grateful we have a big beautiful brunch to eat. i am so grateful i can pull it together by choosing what i focus on. i am so grateful i can be here now and stop stressing about what i have to do next. RELAX! I INTEND TO RELAX TODAY!
seriously need to relax.

I am so grateful for passive income and new subscribers and orders and sales. I am so grateful for kind notes on orders. i am so grateful i can feel the energy returning.

I intend to have the best day of my life. I intend to feel energized and excited to be alive today! I made it! I am 15 days free! I am free! It's time to celebrate! I can do it! I can do i! I am doing it!

I intend to love myself and my life today! I intend to have and be fun! I intend to love myself and not give a fuck! I intend to be here now! I intend to let go of my thoughts! I intend to relax my mind! I intend to relax! I intend to have fun today! I intend to take care of myself and shower and eat well and move my body and play music! I intend to play today! It's going to be a great day!