WHAT I WANT FOR 2020
The singular focus of the magician!
This means keeping my mind trained on a single point. It's not the mantra that matters, it's the devotion. This year I intend to embody the singular focus of the magician. It can be with counting, NMRK, conscious breathing or affirmations. In the past I've made the mistake of choosing a specific affirmation to be my theme for the year. But invariably I grow tired of the particular mental code, and move onto something else. That makes me feel like a bit of a failure in the context of my yearly theme! So this year I am getting to the point of why I choose a yearly mental code in the first place--to train my mind! To feel better! To manifest the life I want! To become worry-free right now!
And I intend to practice and synthesize my magical singular focus with WRITING. Other than of course directing my attention to a certain practice each day, I intend to WRITE and JOURNAL and really process my experiences as often as I can.
So grateful to have the best weekend of my life! So grateful to always have plenty! So grateful to feel SO DUMMY RICH! So grateful to be here now! So grateful to be upgrading my handstands!
So happy and grateful to feel good about myself! So happy and grateful to be at the top of my field! So happy and grateful to be making my best work! SO happy and grateful to love myself and not give a fuck!
So happy and grateful to feel light and connected! So happy and grateful to remember what I want!!
A BIT ON WEIGHTLOSS
Yes I want to lose weight, but for a little bit I forgot WHY.
I lost about 10lbs this year. I have to buy clothes a size smaller. I've been working out regularly as well, so I'm guessing I've lost a bit of fat and gained some muscle.
After we got home from Texas, I lost my focus on my diet a little bit. Having a place to go to see family and friends made me better able to focus on my lighter diet, because I wanted to show up looking and feeling great.
But when we got home I felt like I had nothing to look forward to. No upcoming travel plans or big events to dress up for. Just a long, cold winter ahead.
Then I started watching some of Brittany's videos and came across one about how to do a handstand. A lightbulb went off! I forgot I was trying to lose weight to be lighter for acrobatics! THAT is something to look forward to!
I want to be able to do unassisted handstands and walk on my hands. I want to do back walkovers. I want to do flips on the trampoline and maybe even on the ground! I want to do pullups and climb silks and ropes and lyras. I want to be able to PLAY in my body as much as possible! Physical body play like acrobatics is one of my biggest passions in life! ANd it is MUCH harder to do with extra weight on my body.
I think my weight has been part of the reason I never got back into acrobatics because I've never had the upper body strength to do much other than some backbends and cartwheels. I tried climbing silks in Austin once--what a JOKE! I could hardly lift myself an inch off the ground!
The lighter my body is, the easier acrobatics are, period. ANd THEN I really want to get into partner acrobatics too! ANd it is way easier for a base to flip me around if I'm lighter and stronger!
I am so grateful to Brittany for helping me remember the WHY of changing my diet. It is much easier to not overindulge or eat emotionally when I remember my WHY and my why is fun!
I am so happy and grateful to remember who I am and what I want in life.
I want to CREATE my best work! Journals and zines and books and art and videos and audios and music!
I want to PLAY in my body! Acrobatics and flow toys and weights and dance and FUN!
I want to LOVE the people I am around! I connect and am open and play and love yeah love!
I want to RELEASE worry and master my mind! I practice the singular focus of the magician!
I am choosing to be more focused every day. I am choosing to create my best work every day. My work is getting better every day! I am choosing to be PLAYFUL more every day! I am choosing to love my life and the people in it! I am choosing compassion more and more! I am choosing to remember who I am!
I intend to have the best market ever tomorrow. I intend to love myself and not give a fuck. I intend to play and have fun and be FRIENDLY. I intend to be friendly! I intend to love yeah love! I intend to enjoy! I intend to focus my mind! I intend to have the singular focus of the magician!!
I intend to uplift and inspire! I intend to be uplifted and inspired!
I intend to CHOOSE TO FEEL GOOD! I intend to play and have fun! I intend to appreciate all I have! I intend to enjoy life the way it is! I intend to record my best video yet! I intend to make beautiful art! I intend to draw and enjoy life! I intend to trust the process of life! I intend to surrender! I Intend to have the focus on the magician!
I intend to love myself and not give a fuck. I intend to love my life the way it is! I intend to trust the process of life. I intend to enjoy life. I intend to PLAY. I intend to be myself!