some fucking art

Jessica Mullen Gathering Momentum

some fucking art

Jessica Mullen
So happy and grateful to be awake and alive. So happy and grateful to be here now. So happy and grateful to be relaxing into the moment. So happy and grateful I can choose to write and feel better. SO happy and grateful I can relax and enjoy life!

So happy and grateful I can choose a new attitude. So happy and grateful I can lighten up and have fun!

Thank you for advil
thank you for lana
thank you for my friends and family
thank you for my kitties
thank you for my health
thank you for bagels and coffee and peanut butter
thank you for helping me feel better
thank you for the cold water
thank you for the good music
thank you for the mmr
thank you for the focus
thank you for the adventures
thank you for this perfect year in cle
thank you for twitter
thank you for my website
thank you for good dreams
thank you for good feelings
thank you for herbal remedies
thank you for this day
thank you for my health
thank you for this perfect office
thank you for time
thank you for meditation in the morning
thank you for the plants
thank you for the uplifting music
thank you for the inspiration
this is enough
thank you for the feeling of enough
thank you for the good sleep
thank you for the perfect timing
thank you for the freedom
thank you for the angels
thank you for the motivation
thank you for the encouraging comments
thank you for the new opportunities
thank you for the yesssses
thank you for the answers
thank you for the chakra balancing
thank you for the tarot readings
thank you for the love
thank you for the make it true
thank you for osho
thank you for the orders
thank you for the wholesale
thank you for the patience
thank you for the passive income
thank you for the jetski
thank you for the fun summer
thank you for the beautiful weather
thank you for the hot shower
thank you for the refreshing energy
thank you for this day
thank you for the good books to read
thank you for the curlups
thank you for the snacks
thank you for the salads
thank you for the relaxing day
thank you for the lake
thank you for the routes
thank you for the neighborhood
thank you for the love
thank you for reminding me to be kind and compassionate

what is your contrast?
don't feel great
what is it making you ask for?
bliss! i want to feel bliss!!

i feel like i deserve bliss in every moment
if not bliss, a buzzing satisfaction
or superiority because of my choices
but i ate those cheese and crackers and my superiority fell off
what's the use
why bother counting every single literal morsel (of chocolate)
when chocolate is from child labor!

listening to bhagavan das as if he is some spiritual leader who didn't sell insurance and do drugs and drink
always wondering if i will drink again?
i have questions
if i have such a bad headache now, what more damage can a few ciders do?
just wondering

just relaxing into this moment
the advil wearing off
should i get more probably
willing my stomach to settle
take a deep breath
sit up straight
it's kicking in i hope

wondering about the safety of the electric in this house
who cares?

wondering what i should do to feel better about myself
yesterday it was thinking, "this is enough"
and today i'm back to thinking, "i'm not doing enough"
still in my pajamas at 3:49pm
every time i start thinking about getting up earlier
i start sleeping later
i must LET GO
i must TRUST THE UNIVERSE
how can i let go when i tied these choices to my wrists?!

take another breath
does thinking i love myself work?
i love myself i love myself
i love myself i love myself
i become aware of how uncomfortable my desk situation is
i always criticize people in my head for complaining nonstop
but am i the constantly complaining in my head?!
probably

relaxing into another breath
long exhale try to get it all out
wondering if i'm bleeding into my pajama pants
wondering if the cream will work this time

breathing in and i am remember my meditating self but it seems
breathing out that was a weird interruption

breathing in i am so sick of this music
breathing out I COMMAND GOOD MUSIC TO COME TO ME
something i can obsess over a huge discography
i need something new desperately
desperately
why do i always feel so desperate
god i want a drink

shut this head up!
having trouble getting distance from my thoughts
oh yeah counting was working earlier ok i'll try to do that
every time i crave a drink so desperately it means i better smoke
about to fly off the handle

another deep breath
feeling a little better
just wish i had a good attitude
i have to decide it from the moment i wake up and today i woke up
in a foul mood

can this guy shut up
can my brain shut up
can i just get some silence around here?!

ok time to relax
breathing in i know i'm breathing in
breathing out i know it's my choice

oh yeah it's pms!
thank god there's a reason for the foulness

breathing in i can relax i swear
breathing out i can be who i want to be
i'm going to shower and dress cute and relax and enjoy this day
i'm going to count in the shower and i'm going to feel better
i'm going to remember to say thank you i'm going to remember to love and practice compassion
i'm going to be strong and harden up
i'm going to lighten up and not give a fuck
i'm going to relax and enjoy this day
i'm going to enjoy my life!
I INTEND TO ENJOY MY LIFE TODAY!

i intend to feel better
i intend to love myself
i intend to do whatever it takes to have a better attitude
i intend to love myself and not give a fuck!
i intend to make some FUCKING ART

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.

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