Month: July 2018

Jessica Mullen Gathering Momentum

I Don’t Have to Care

Jessica Mullen
So happy and grateful to be awake and alive! So happy and grateful I don't have to care! So happy and grateful I can lighten up and not care! So happy and grateful to feel good now! So happy and grateful I can choose to have a good day! So happy and grateful I can surrender and trust the process of life. So happy and grateful I don't have to care. So happy and grateful I can just let go and not care. So happy and grateful I can let life be fun and easy. So happy and grateful I can let life live me. SO happy and grateful it's all working out for me. So happy and grateful life is living me. So happy and grateful I can let go. SO happy and grateful I don't have to care. So happy and grateful to have my health and home and wife and kitties and friends and family. So happy and grateful I don't have to care. So happy and grateful to feel free!

So happy and grateful to feel light. So happy and grateful to feel focused. So happy and grateful I'm in the right place at the right time. So happy and grateful to have a hot shower waiting for me. So happy and grateful to feel good about myself. So happy and grateful to have good dreams. So happy and grateful my wife loves me unconditionally. So happy and grateful to get to have a fun day. So happy and grateful to love myself anyway.

What is your contrast?
feeling ashamed, guilty, like a bad person who can't do anything right
What is the contrast helping you ask for?
feeling good about myself. feeling proud and transparent. feeling brave. feeling open. feeling like i'm a good person.

What would abundance look like in these 4 areas?
Physical
get a massage. get my nails done. feel the best I've ever felt. dance. move my body. new hoop tricks! feel the actual flow.
Mental
conscious breathing
Emotional
i don't give a fuck. channeling anger into purifying myself. feel good about myself. love myself the way i am.
Spiritual
feel love. feel connected. remember what I know. Remember who I am. Light.

What is your vision/10 year plan?
In 10 years...
Hoop dancing! Performing amazing tricks with my body. Being myself. Being appreciated for who I am. Being authentic. Being honest and open. Feeling good about myself. Making music making music making music.

Hooping while meditating while laughing while playing music. Being in demand for being myself. Feeling chosen. Doing everything right. Feeling good about myself and in love with myself and my life.

I mean really life already is the way I want it to be.

I just want to love myself, love my life, feel good about myself and make my best work.

Wouldn't it be nice to let go? Wouldn't it be nice to lighten up and have fun? Wouldn't it be nice to take better care of myself? Wouldn't it be nice to have friends here? Wouldn't it be nice to feel relieved? Wouldn't it be nice to like being alive today? Wouldn't it be nice to make my best work today? Wouldn't it be nice to feel the joy of creating (I do right now)?
Wouldn't it be nice to make
some
fucking music!?

Wouldn't it be nice to play an instrument?

I want

  • to have a fun and safe bike ride
  • friends in cle
  • to make my best work
  • to focus on loving myself
  • to feel fearless
  • to not give a fuck
  • to have fun and laugh!
  • to lose 10 pounds lol
  • to feel loved
  • to love myself jeez

Prepave! bike excursion
What's the best that could happen before?
in the vortex! focused on loving myself. feeling great! feeling excited and inspired!
What’s the best that could happen during?
get home safe! have fun! laugh! feel invincible! feel great! have so much fun!
How do you want to feel after?
successful! in the flow! happy to be alive!

Notice:
I feel
I love myself for...

I feel depressed.
I love myself for feeling depressed.

I feel existential dread.
I love myself for feeling existential dread.

I feel shame and guilt.
I love myself for feeling shame and guilt.

Today I intend to LOVE MYSELF. Today I intend to MAKE MUSIC. Today I intend to make my best work. Today I intend to feel good about myself. Today I intend to not give a fuck. Today I intend to be in the vortex. Today I intend to lighten up!!!

I pray to stay sober today. I pray to not give a fuck. I pray to lighten up and have fun! I pray to feel good about myself. I pray to LOVE MYSELF. PLEASE HELP ME LOVE MYSELF.

I'm switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer, I am in the right place at the right time. I am doing everything right. I am letting life live me. I am in the flow. I am letting go of my worries. I love myself. I love myself.

In the reality I prefer, I love myself.
In the reality I prefer, I love myself.
In the reality I prefer, I love myself.
In the reality I prefer, I love myself.
In the reality I prefer, I'm making my best work.

I love it when I feel creative. I love it when I do the work. I love it when I surrender and just don't give a fuck! I love it when I feel good about myself. I love it when I feel the best I've ever felt! I love it when I feel inspired. I love it when I eat well. I love it when I work out 3x a week. I love it when I get my steps. I love it when I feel fearless. I love it when I don't care. I love it when I let go. I love it when I shine!

Dear Jessica,
It's all a solution. Who cares? Not you!

Jessica Mullen Daily Meditation

Daily Meditation – See Love Instead of Pain


Download the meditation audio on Bandcamp! Send love via PayPal!

See Love Instead of Pain (transcript)
Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance

Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance

Bring your attention into this present moment, where all of your power lies.

Breathe in and focus
Breathe out and remember: You always have a choice.

You have a choice what you focus on. You have a choice what you think about. You have a choice how you feel and what you do.

Breathe in and make the choice to love.
Breathe out and let go of everything else

You may see such horrors in this world. You might witness tragedy and feel so much pain. But you still have a choice to focus on love, the only truth there is.

Breathe in and focus on love
Breathe out and smile, even if it feels like you are not right to be smiling in the face of all that’s wrong in this world.

You still have the ability to shine light on this world. You still have the ability to love. You have the power to love and lead by your example.

Breathe in and choose to love
Breathe out and choose to smile

Unless you’re going to kill yourself, you’re stuck here. And it can be so painful. And if you’re going to kill yourself you’ll just be reincarnated as a lesser creature so I don’t recommend it. Anyway, we’re stuck here with this pain. We’re stuck here with tragedies and cruelty. But we have the choice to love and bring light. We have the choice to lead by example. Even if it feels like our little thing that we do isn’t going to help anything in so much grief, you have no idea the power that you can share with the world through your example.

Breathe in and decide to lead by example
Breathe out and decide to smile even where there’s nothing to smile about

First you become it, then you see it. If you’re witnessing tragedy and horror and strife and pain, ask yourself what’s going on inside of you. What is the reflecting?

Breathe in and decide to love even though there’s all this pain
Breathe out and choose to smile even through all of this pain

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I choose to give love to this world

I don’t have the answers about why people are cruel. I don’t have the answers about what to do in tragedy or pain. All I know is that love is the only truth and everything else is a lie. So even when we get caught up in our minds feeling afraid, feeling horrified, we still have the choice to peel back all the lies to reveal the love that is at the core of everything.

Breathe in and know that love is at the core of everything
Breathe out and smile because you can feel that love inside of you no matter what’s gone wrong, no matter what pain you’ve witnessed.

Love is still in your core and love is the only truth in this illusion.

Breathe in and decide to be love today
Breathe out and know that that’s the most powerful thing you can do in the face of tragedy

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I project love onto the world

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I give love to the world

When you choose to give love to yourself, that is what emanates from you. That is what you project and that is what you’ll see projected. Love is the only truth and it is an option to see love instead of pain.

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I give love to the world

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I give only love

Breathing in love is the answer
Breathing out everything else is false

Love is the answer. It’s no more complicated than that.

Breathing I love myself
Breathing out I give love to the world

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love you

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love you

Love is the only answer and it’s the only thing you can do to help the world. So if you want to help the world and all the suffering, go back to your natural state of love and you can do it with the easy mantra:

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love you

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love you

That is all you can do to help and it can help so much.

Make it your goal today to love and only love

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I love you

Jessica Mullen Gathering Momentum

Proud Pleased Fearless Inspired

Jessica Mullen
So happy and grateful to be awake and alive. So happy and grateful to feel good now. So happy and grateful to have my health and home and wife and kitties and friends and family. So happy and grateful to like my life. So happy and grateful I don't have to care. So happy and grateful I can lighten up and have fun. So happy and grateful I can choose to feel free. So happy and grateful to like where I live. So happy and grateful we can afford a perfect apartment. So happy and grateful to like it here. So happy and grateful I can let life live me. So happy and grateful I can trust the process of life. So happy and grateful I don't have to give a fuck! So happy and grateful to feel fearless and free. So happy and grateful I can surrender to the flow. So happy and grateful I can let go of my worries. So happy and grateful I don't have to care!

So happy and grateful to love myself. So happy and grateful to have food in the fridge. So happy and grateful the rent and bills are paid. So happy and grateful R is coming to visit! So happy and grateful I don't have to worry.

desire
So grateful to have a good day. So grateful to get all my work done. So grateful to feel loved. So grateful to get a massage! So grateful to be making music. So grateful to be making my best work. So grateful to feel energized and excited about life. So grateful to feel like cooking and cleaning. So grateful to like my life and to be at peace with the mundane.

long desire
So grateful to like my work
every day i put in the work
i create i am creative i make my best work
and i am compensated handsomely for it
because i have accessed the fountain of youth
the source within
and that connection is pure and connected and i am invigorated by my art
on a daily basis
and all i care about is just
making
my
art

I LOVE YOU

Wouldn't it be nice to have the best day of my life? Wouldn't it be nice to feel inspired? Wouldn't it be nice to make my best work? Wouldn't it be nice to schedule that appointment? Wouldn't it be nice to feel fearless about this court date? Wouldn't it be nice to relax and trust the process and just NOT GIVE A FUCK?

Wouldn't it be nice to focus on feeling
proud
pleased
fearless
and
inspired?
Those are my core desired feelings
PROUD
PLEASED
FEARLESS
INSPIRED

Wouldn't it be nice to make music
Wouldn't it be nice to make my best work
Wouldn't it be nice to make art
Wouldn't it be nice to transmute
Wouldn't it be nice to do nice things for other people
Wouldn't it be nice to feel open and proud
Wouldn't it be nice to follow through on all my projects
Wouldn't it be nice to keep up the good work
Wouldn't it be nice to take a shower
Wouldn't it be nice to smell good
Wouldn't it be nice to make friends
Wouldn't it be nice if the food cooked itself
Wouldn't it be nice if I posted my best video yet?
Wouldn't it be nice to record my best video yet?
Wouldn't it be nice to hear good news?
Wouldn't it be nice to take a nice walk?
Wouldn't it be nice to play piano?
Wouldn't it be nice to get a guitar?
Wouldn't it be nice to have less emphasis on working
Wouldn't it be nice to stop resisting?

What is your contrast?
feeling uninspired, trapped, unfocused, put upon
What is the contrast helping you ask for?
to HAVE to MAKE MY WORK RIGHT NOW and it's the BEST THING I've EVER CREATED

What would abundance look like in these 4 areas?
Physical
feel good, fit, strong, thin, slim, energized. creating creating creating
Mental
focused on counting and i love myself
Emotional
feel PROUD PLEASED FEARLESS AND INSPIRED
Spiritual
connected. inspired.

What is your vision?
What is your 10 year plan?
in 10 years I will be 46. What?!
By 46...
I want to be traveling Europe and Asia
I want my income to be entirely passive
Via meditation videos and School of Life Design subscribers to the library and app
I want to be a star
Performing meditations?
with musicc?
I want to transcend any and all addiction issues
I want to be in love with myself and making my best work every day
Spiritual guru
Spiritually relieved
I want to have fun and be connected to source
and brave and excited
fearless
oh yeah and DEBT FREE
and with 1m in the bank
at least!
Having so much fun with Keke living life feeling free making our best work every day

I want

  • for Tuesday to be fun and easy, FLAWLESS VICTORY
  • to feel inspired and excited about life!
  • to feel in love with myself and my life and my wife!
  • to have and be fun!
  • to make my best work!
  • to feel brave and fearless and proud and pleased!
  • to have the best day of my life!
  • to record my best video yet!
  • to manifest $5k!
  • to get everything we need at junk monkey!

Prepave! the burg
What's the best that could happen before?
In the vortex! Feeling please and proud and fearless and inspired!
What’s the best that could happen during?
WIN! FUN!
How do you want to feel after?
VICTORIOUS! FLAWLESS VICTORY! FUCK YEAH!

Notice:
I feel
I love myself for...

I feel sneaky. I love myself for feeling sneaky.
I feel gross. I love myself for feeling gross.
I feel guilty.
I love myself for feeling guilty.
I feel ashamed.
I love myself for feeling ashamed.

I FEEL PROUD AND PLEASED AND FEARLESS.

I intend to feel good today and have fun. I intend to lighten up and feel free. I intend to go with the flow. I intend to not give a fuck! I intend to trust the process of life! I intend to be here now. I intend to let go! I intend to have fun!

I pray to stay sober today.
I pray to level up.
I pray to take care of myself.
I pray to do the work. I pray to trust the process.

I love it when I do the work
I love it when I feel good
I love it when I let go
I Love it when I WIN

Dear Jessica,
It's all working out for you. Follow the desire. It's leading you to not desire.

Jessica Mullen Gathering Momentum

Desire is the path to hell

Jessica Mullen
SO happy and grateful
I can channel my anger
and misery
into creation
So happy and grateful i can let go and not give a fuck
so happy and grateful
I can choose to not care
I can just cry it off
Oh well
So angry

So grateful i can stop repulsing myself
i can stop hating myself
i can choose to love myself

what are your desires
what are your paths to hell

i want to be a famous musician
i just want to make music

wanting to make music is the path to hell

i want to be free of addictions

wanting to be free of addictions is the path to hell

i want to be left alone
wanting to be left alone is the path to hell

i want to feel better
wanting to feel better is the path to hell

i want to make good work

wanting to make good work is the path to hell
all is outside of this moment

what is missing from this moment?
i am projecting myself into the future
wishing my work was done
wanting to get high
wanting to get drunk

wanting to get high is the path to hell
wanting to get drunk is the path to hell

what is missing from this moment
i want a massage
wanting a massage is the path to hell

i want my cats to be immortal
wanting my cats to be immortal is the path to hell
i want my body to be immortal
wanting my body to be immortal is the path to hell
i want to feel good
wanting to feel good is the path to hell
i want to feel better
wanting to feel better is the path to hell
it implies you don't feel good now,
thus creating it

i want to feel better
wanting to feel better is the path to hell

i want to sympathy
wanting sympathy is the path to hell

i want to feel better
wanting to feel better is the path to hell

i want to want to feel gratitude
wanting to want to feel gratitude is the path to hell

i want it to storm
wanting it to storm is the path to hell

i want to be loved and adored
wanting to be loved and adored is the path to hell

i want to not be annoyed
wanting to not be annoyed is the path to hell

i want to be served
wanting to be served is the path to hell

what is missing from this moment?
i want more new music

wanting more new music is the path to hell

what is missing from this moment?
euphoria, bliss

wanting euphoria and bliss is the path to hell
what the fuck
why can't i want euphoria and bliss
that's what i came to this fucking life for

wanting euphoria and bliss is the path to hell
wanting euphoria and bliss is the path to hell

i want to take care of myself better
wanting to take care of myself better is the path to hell

i want to make my best work
wanting to make my best work is the path to hell
i want to like myself
wanting to like myself is the path to hell

i want to feel better
wanting to feel better is the path to hell

i want to like myself
wanting to like myself is the path to hell

i want a treadmill desk
wanting a treadmill desk is the path to hell

i want to be less mad
wanting to be less mad is the path to hell

i want to stop projecting myself into the future
wanting to stop projecting yourself into the future is the path to hell

I WANT TO LIKE MYSELF
wanting to like yourself is the path to hell

I want to feel better
wanting to feel better is the path to hell

What is missing from this moment?

==

so angry at myself
so angry for ALWAYS doing it to myself
i always do this
i always do this
i hate myself

==

i want to not hate myself!
wanting to not hate yourself is the path to hell
I JUST WANT A DRINK AND TO STOP WONDERING
wanting a drink is the path to hell
i want to feel better
wanting to feel better is the path to hell

==

what to even say
i want to be grateful
wanting to be grateful is the path to hell

grateful for
this home
and water
and wife
and kitties
and health
and friends
and family
and city
and breath

i am grateful the rent and bills are paid
i am grateful for osho
i am grateful I know i will feel better one day
i am grateful i know i will make music one day

i am grateful i know there is an answer
i am grateful for the filing cabinet
i am grateful i can help a little bit

i am grateful i can feel a crack into feeling better
i am grateful for massages
i am grateful i know i can feel a little better
i am grateful i have things i can do
i can play music
i can hoop
i can record a video
i can ask for a hug
i can draw
i can let those thoughts go
i can let those thoughts go
it's hard
i want it to be easy
wanting it to be easy is the path to hell
wanting it to be different is the path to hell

i am open
i am open
i am open to receiving
i am open to changing

i am open to feeling better
i am opening to getting off the path to fucking dumbass hell

i am opening up to receiving
i am open to feeling better in this moment
i am open to feeling better
i am open to the possibility that everything i need is in this moment.

Jessica Mullen Daily Meditation

Daily Meditation – Activate Your Chakras


Download the meditation audio on Bandcamp! Send love via PayPal!

Activate Your Chakras
Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance!

Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance!

Breathe in and relax
Breathe out and welcome the interruptions

It’s all a solution. You’re in the right place at the right time.

Breathe in and open up to receiving
Breathe out and let go of your worries

It just doesn’t matter!

Breathe in and lift yourself up
Breathe out and smile because life is not serious

Breathe in and lighten up!
Breathe out and let go of your worries

This is the best day of your life. It’s all working out for you. You can trust the process of life. You can trust you’re in the right place at the right time.

Breathe in and celebrate how far you’ve come
Breathe out and allow well being to flow through you

Breathe in and bring well being into your crown chakra
Breathe out and activate your crown chakra

Breathe in and bring well being into your third eye chakra
Breathe out and activate your third eye chakra

Breathe in and bring well being into your throat chakra
Breathe out and activate your throat chakra

Breathe in and bring well being into your heart chakra
Breathe out and activate your heart chakra

Breathe in and bring well being into your solar plexus chakra
Breathe out and activate your solar plexus chakra

Breathe in and bring well being into your navel chakra
Breathe out and activate your navel chakra

Breathe in and bring well being into your root chakra
Breathe out and activate your root chakra

You’re lit up! Energy is flowing through you! How do you want to direct your energy?

Breathe in and think about what you want
Breathe out and relax

It’s on its way.

Breathe in and smile!
Breathe out and let go

This is the best day of your life. You’re doing everything right.

Breathe in and decide to not give a fuck
Breathe out and decide to love yourself

Breathing in I love myself
Breathing out I don’t give a fuck!

Jessica Mullen Gathering Momentum

Love Yeah Love

Jessica Mullen

So happy and grateful I can let go. So happy and grateful I can choose to feel better. So happy and grateful I can choose to feel good right now. So happy and grateful I can choose to focus on something else.

So happy and grateful to have my health and my home and my friends and family. So happy and grateful for my happy kitties. So happy and grateful to live in this amazing city. So happy and grateful to feel better already. So happy and grateful I don't have to care. SO happy and grateful I can choose to trust the process of life. So happy and grateful I can choose to focus on what I want.

Desire
So grateful to let go of that horror and see the other side of the wave. SO grateful I know there is a solution. So grateful to hear the solution. SO grateful to know there is an explanation for that suffering. So grateful to make peace with the horror. JFC.

Long desire
SO grateful my siblings are coming to visit! So grateful to have siblings who are my friends and love me and care for me! So grateful to have family who loves and cares for me!

SO grateful I can choose to feel better. So grateful I can let go of my worries and fears. So grateful I can choose to let go.

So grateful to feel better. So grateful to be at peace with what is. So grateful to feel better. So grateful to feel relieved. So grateful to surrender. SO grateful to be making my best work.

Jessica Mullen

What is my vision?
Love
Flow
Peace
Joy
Fun
Play

Wouldn't it be nice to get that image out of my mind? Wouldn't it be nice to see good in the world? Wouldn't it be nice to make music? Wouldn't it be nice to feel better? Wouldn't it be nice to feel loved? Wouldn't it be nice to be nice to myself? Wouldn't it be nice to get off the rollercoaster? Wouldn't it be nice to feel at peace with what is? Wouldn't it be nice to understand why there is such horrific pain and suffering and abuse in the world? Wouldn't it be nice to let those thoughts go?

Wouldn't it be nice to have a good day and feel better? Wouldn't it be nice to be my reason for feeling good? Wouldn't it be nice to feel less crushed by the sadness of reality? Wouldn't it be nice to stay the fuck off facebook so I don't have to see that shit? Wouldn't it be nice to be able to help? Wouldn't it be nice to help? Wouldn't it be nice to have a way to help?

I promise I will do nothing but love from now on
The world needs only love and that is all I can offer and I will never do anything but love again

Wouldn't it be nice to let go of that fear and tragedy? Wouldn't it be nice to lighten up and have fun? Wouldn't it be nice to relax and feel better? Wouldn't it be nice to feel less horrible? Wouldn't it be nice to feel better? Wouldn't it be nice to feel like I'm helping? Wouldn't it be nice to feel like I could actually do something to stop such tragedy? Wouldn't it be nice to let those thoughts go?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?

What is your contrast?
I watched a really disturbing video and I can't get it out of my head and what the fuck is wrong with people?
What is the contrast helping you ask for?
people who love

Jessica Mullen

What would abundance look like in these 4 areas?
Physical
walking, feeling safe.
Mental
COunting to 10,000, anything to get these thoughts out of my mind
Emotional
Feel relief, get a fucking answer, feel like life is good
Spiritual
Channel some way to help this sick sad fucking world

I want

  • to feel better
  • to help the sickness in this world
  • to love and feel loved
  • to love myself and act like it
  • to feel taken care of
  • to make my best work
  • to feel joy and play and fun
  • to return from the darkness
  • to walk and feel better
  • to let these horrible feelings go

Prepave! Sunday funday
What's the best that could happen before?
i feel better
What’s the best that could happen during?
i have fun and laugh and feel better
How do you want to feel after?
in the vortex! back to the vortex! Jesus christ i want the vortex and to be in love!

Notice:
I feel completely horrified by some people's cruelty
I love myself for... feeling completely horrified by cruelty.

I intend to love today and every day. I intend to do what I can to spread love and nothing else. I promise to love and only love from now on.

I pray to stay sober today. I pray to love. I pray to feel loved. I pray those babies get the help they need.

I'm switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer, I am love, only love. I love and only love. I am love and only give love. I am love and nothing else. I am love and all I see and give are love.

I love it wheN I transmute.

Jessica Mullen
Dear Jessica,
It will be ok. You will see the perfection.

Jessica Mullen Gathering Momentum

True to This Moment

Jessica Mullen
I love myself
I know that's what I should think
It makes sense it works for me
I love myself I know it works
I know it works
I let the old beliefs come through for a little visit
bUt I love myself
I know it's true
I love myself

Even though I think I'm holding myself with desire
Holding myself back with unspoken desire
holding myself back
but i remember it's all perfect in this moment
I love myself
It can be fun it can be light it can be true
I can be true to this moment I don't have to make up for the past
I can be true to this moment

I can be honest to this moment
I can choose
I love myself right now
I love myself
I love myself for feeling off
I love myself for my twitching eyelid
I love myself for my extreme sloth
I love myself for my bad work ethic
I love myself for my obsessions I drive into the ground
I love myself for picking on myself
I love myself for second guessing everything I say
I love myself for not being a self starter
I love myself for being soft
I love myself for being sensitive
I love myself for the good things too

I love myself for my patience
I love myself for my understanding, knowledge and passion for computers and internet
I love myself for my wanting something better for myself
I love myself for my CREATIVITY I love that about myself I always have that
I love myself for my love I feel for others
I love myself for my kindness
for offering to help
I love myself for my empathy for my compassion for my understanding for my openess
I love myself for reading, truly reading, truly absorbing
I love myself for all my life experience
so many drinks and lessons learned
I love myself for living hard
For having fun for always just wanting to do the fun thing
I love myself for continuing even when I'm bored
I love myself for pushing past the boredom
I love myself for exploring the unknown
I love myself for being psychic, sensitive, in touch with the unseen
I love myself for my pain , the PAIN I feel at almost all times
I love myself for my depth
I have so
very much
depth
I am so
very
deep
I get lost down there
It is bottomless
I am bottom less

It is a pro of being bottomless, the depth
It is a positive aspect of having that unfillable hole
So deep
you could reach in and never get your hand back
I love myself for going into the depths and coming back with fistfulls of jewels
I love going into the dark and coming back with the jewels
Sometimes I like the jewels other people bring back
but the most beautiful ones are the ones I go get myself

I love myself for all the scars covering my body
Sometimes I wake up and see all the scars and holy shit look at them all! Jeez!
I love myself for hurting myself because I turned my anger inward
I love myself for being sad
I love myself for being deep
I love myself for always trying to feel better
I love myself for always trying
I always try I never give up
I love myself for never giving up
I love myself for all those problems of my early twenties,
what a mess
I love myself for being unconscious and just not knowing back then
I just didn't know back then
I love myself for reading other people's poetry and thinking I can write poetry too
I love myself for being able to see the poetry when my eyes are open
I love myself for being calm
I love myself for standing up to myself and admitting who I am
I love myself for standing up for myself

I love myself for going to the library and getting a library card and downloading that ebook app
I love myself for dreading this workout we're about to do
I love myself for my malleable attitude
for my impressionable mind
I love myself for my depth
How deep does it go?
Right now I'm in the shallow water but I am pulled to the depths
It calls me and when I go under it's scary but then I take a breath and
I can breathe underwater!
I love myself for never giving up on the spiritual work
I love myself for doing what I'm afraid of
I like to do what I'm afraid of
I love myself for expressing love when I can even though I get scared of touchy feely
I get uncomfortable but I always sprout new leaves when I'm uncomfortable

I love myself for doing the work
even when I'm using crutches
I love myself for using crutches just for fun
I love myself for using crutches just for fun
lmao
that about sums it up

I love myself for believing in my creativity and knowing that in the end I will prevail
I will win
I will get what I want
because I am patient and I let it come to me
I know the secret to life and I relax in the knowing that
I love myself
I am connected
I love myself
for noticing when I dislike something
I love myself for always watching my back
always feeling like someone is trying to get in my business
I love myself for feeling like I'm the center of the universe and everyone is watching me
I love myself for being creative
I love myself for being deep
I love myself for using crutches for fun
and I love myself for feeling bad about myself because I am not the way I know I can be
I will be
In the moment I love myself for not being that person
I already am

Jessica Mullen Articles

898 Days Sober

Jessica Mullen
898 Days Sober and I'm thinking about writing poetry
I feel so soft like I forgot my shell today
Just your pile of poems sitting in my inbox is enough to make me want my own to give you
Drinking a spinach smoothie like I do every day
Settled into my home and somehow settled into my mind today
Trying to remember to practice presence and so grateful for the nudges from others
Feeling unmotivated and always wondering what my true calling is
While expressing these words is my true calling
Obsessed with listening to LDR because she called me last month
Her lyrics are all I hear and I like the sweet sadness
Makes death ok

My email list is broken
It doesn't send the auto responder with the file
I have to fix that later
I have so much to do and that is ok
It doesn't bother me but it fills me with a lowkey anxiety
I'm not doing enough I'm never doing enough I simply CAN'T do enough to keep up with my ideas

Listening to that one song you liked
Even though it feels like November
The midwestern cold
I can't believe our paths crossed and uncrossed so quickly

I don't feel seen enough by enough people
a sure sign I need to see myself
a sure sign I need to love myself
I have been SLACKING on the self love
letting the kratom do my feeling for me

But today I'm taking a break, I'm sick of it
I want to remember who I am
Who am I when I'm not ON something?
Weed doesn't count of course

Well my fake nails came in the mail today
I am so swayed by good advertising
and feel like manicured nails are the pinnacle of having one's shit together
Dug in the dirt enough to not need to dig in the dirt for a month
Already I'm scared of the glue they came with
Vacillate between filling myself with chemicals
and acknowledging the futility of filling myself with chemicals

I have so much I want to tell you with my eyes alone
I project these abilities onto you,
YOU understand me! YOU see me! YOU can teach me!

And suddenly I see myself looking in the mirror
tricking myself into believing in duality
And I feel alone
but at least I can see through the illusion
At least I have my power back
At least
wait, what is beyond this?

Where is the DMT
Remember in Austin when we smoked DMT three times
And I knew the meaning of life?
Remember in Austin when we woke up?
I'm not saying I need a fresh awakening
but I want that NEWNESS omg that newness of
learning something for the first time

I HAD NO IDEA
No inkling of flow or oneness
until the acid, the dmt, the mushrooms, the molly

Is it any wonder I stay relying on substances for clarity???????

I know that the ones I lean on, the crutches, are never the mind blowing lesson creating substances

Alcohol
Painkillers
Speed

None of those produced awakenings other than
oh wow I can feel good and life can be fun again

It's been weeks since you wrote and I still don't want to write back to the rest because I like seeing your name in my inbox.

just writing you reminds me to do me
you come to me when i don't want you
when i've let you go

the perPETUAL pattern of wanting something SO BAD
and then making peace without it
and it comes

I need a drink because I'm having a hard time
letting go
connecting

I need a drink because I want to loosen up, forget, dear lord LET GO OF THESE THOUGHTS
IT'S BEEN 898 DAYS I THINK I CAN HANDLE ONE DRINK
but really i want two at least

i can't believe this fire woke up again
just by remembering who you are
seeing the memory of you you sent to me out of the blue when i was least expecting your wave!

sometimes i'm my mom and sometimes i'm a ditzy blonde and sometimes
i'm so THIRSTY nothing can fill me up!
even though i haven't had alcohol in 898 days,
i am as thirsty as the day i had my first sip of vermouth,
pilfered from the liquor cabinet, poured into an empty can of diet coke
squirreled away in a cabinet until everyone else was asleep
i chugged it and hurried to brush my teeth in case someone came in my room
swaying, excited,
FINALLY I have something to take me away
finally i have something that tells me

YOU
ARE
ENOUGH

Jessica Mullen Daily Meditation

Daily Meditation – We’re Here to Play and Have…


Download the meditation audio on Bandcamp! Send love via PayPal!

We're Here to Play and Have Fun!
Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance!

Breathe in and raise your vibration!
Breathe out and release your resistance!

Breathe in and make peace with what is
Breathe out and wake up in the dream

Let yourself enter this present moment. Right here, right now.

Breathe in and wake up!
Breathe out and smile! Life loves you so much!

You can trust the process of life. Whatever’s happening, trust that it’s part of the dance. Trust that it’s a solution, that it’s happening for you, not to you.

Breathe in and smile! Life is not serious!
Breathe out and relax.

Let yourself feel gratitude for where you are right now. You have come so far. You have done your best.You are doing your best right now. Just by deciding to sit down and meditate and breathe, that’s the best you can offer. Calmness, peacefulness, clarity, perspective. You’re doing your best, right now.

Breathe in and smile! It’s not serious!
Breathe out and shake it off!

It’s not serious! You can decide to play and have fun! That’s why you’re here in life! To play, and have fun! So whatever serious thing is weighing you down today, whether it’s a lawsuit or your health or your finances or your relationships—whatever it is weighing you down, it’s time to cast it off and say, “I don’t give a fuck about that. I am here to play and I am here to have fun!”

Breathe in and say, “I love myself!”
Breathe out and say, “I don’t give a fuck! I am here to play and have fun!”

That’s my mantra today! “I’m here to play and have fun!” When you are playing, you’re present. And you don’t have to sit there and try to be like, “I need to be present. How do I be present? What’s being present? What is that?” When you’re playing, that’s presence. That is how you can commune with god in the easiest, more natural way—when you’re playing!

Breathe in and decide to play and have fun today!
Breathe out and feel your energy coming back to you!

Life is supposed to be fun. You can just chose to smile and start feeling better. You can decide to focus on being playful and fun today, instead of letting that shit weigh you down!

Breathe in and cast that all off!
Breathe out and decide right now, I’m going to play and have fun today!

My mantra, I am affirming: “I am going to play and have fun today!” That’s the goal, that’s the meaning of life that we’re giving it today. We’re here to play and have fun!

Breathe in and lighten up!
Breathe out and let those worries go!

That lawsuit will be over one day and you’ll be like, “Why did I worry about it so much?” Your finances will be sitting right one day and you’ll be like, “Why didn’t I enjoy it when I was young and free?” Your relationships will be perfect! They already are, duh! And your health? Fuck it! Your body is a genius and you can heal yourself and the easiest way to heal yourself is by playing.

Breathe in and say, “I love myself”
Breathe out and say, “I don’t give a fuck!”

This is the best day of your life. It’s all working out for you and you get to play and have fun the rest of the day.

Breathing in I love myself!
Breathing out I don’t give a fuck!

Jessica Mullen Gathering Momentum

Practice

Jessica Mullen
SO happy and grateful to be awake and alive! SO happy and grateful to have music to listen to! SO happy and grateful to be in perfect health! So happy and grateful to feel good today! So happy and grateful to have plenty of work! SO happy and grateful to be doing me! SO happy and grateful to feel at peace with what is. So happy and grateful I can lighten up and not give a fuck! So happy and grateful to love myself! So happy and grateful to have a wife who loves me! SO happy and grateful to have happy healthy kitties! So happy and grateful we could afford groceries! So happy and grateful to have that sweet wagon! So happy and grateful to have 11 zines to print! SO happy and grateful we have a printer in our neighborhood! So happy and grateful to feel better and better as the day goes on!

Desire:
So grateful to have the best workout yet!

Long desire:
So grateful to be in love with myself!

I love you!

So happy and grateful to feel relaxed. So happy and grateful we write and meditate first thing now> So happy and grateful to live in this beautiful home. So happy and grateful to have a great landlord. So happy and grateful to be on an adventure. SO happy and grateful to have friends who want to visit. So happy and grateful to relax into the moment.

Wouldn't it be nice to have the best day of my life? Wouldn't it be nice to remember to love myself and not give a fuck? Wouldn't it be nice to just count and stay the fuck outta my head?

Wouldn't it be nice to surrender my preferences and say yes to what is? Wouldn't it be nice to remember to be my meditating self? Wouldn't it be nice to get that notepad product published today? Wouldn't it be nice to get that deck done? Wouldn't it be nice to relax and just enjoy my life today?

What is your contrast?
i feel uneasy
What is the contrast helping you ask for?
i feel at peace. i feel calm and in the flow and loved and BLISS.

What would abundance look like in these 4 areas?
Physical
Best workout ever! Get a massage. Walk 3 miles. Eat well.
Mental
Singular focus on counting.
Emotional
Love myself and not give a fuck.
Spiritual
PLAY! Have fun! Laugh!

I want

  • a guitar
  • for my new nails to work perfectly
  • to get all my work done
  • to get that tall boy
  • to get those potions cut
  • to make my best work
  • to have the best workout yet
  • to PLAY and have FUN and laugh
  • to remember my dreams better and lucid dream more easily
  • to feel successful!

Prepave! tomorrow
What's the best that could happen before?
go to bed in the vortex, wake up in the vortex
What’s the best that could happen during?
feel good! Feel good about myself! Feel energized! Get my work done!
How do you want to feel after?
Satisfied, glad, proud of myself. In love with myself and my wife and my life!

Today I intend to have the best day of my life. I intend to lighten up and have fun. I intend to go with the flow. I intend to play. I intend to laugh. I intend to enjoy my time here. I intend to be the best version of myself I can be. I intend to not give a fuck. I intend to love myself. I intend to do me. I intend to post my video. I intend to be kind and do nice things for other people. I intend to feel generous. I intend to let go of my resistance. I intend to make my best work. I intend to have fun today! I intend to be here now.

I pray to stay sober today. I pray to be light. I pray for play and fun and laughter! I pray to take care of myself. I pray for peace and love and to serve the greatest good.

I'm switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I Prefer, I am in the right place at the right time. It's all working out for me. I am doing everything right. I am letting life live me. I am at peace with what is. I am letting go of my resistance.

In the reality I prefer, it's all working out for me. I am at peace with what is. It's all working out for me. I am making my best work. I am focused on feeling good. I am in the vortex!

In the reality I prefer, I am breathing consciously. I am light. I am free. I am playful. I am in the flow!

I love it wheN I do the work. I love it when I feel good. I love it when I play and laugh. I love it when we get along. I love it when I have a good day> I love it when I focus. I love it when I count. I love it when I let life be easy. I love it when I take the time to write. I love it when I keep up with all my habits. I love it when I love myself!

Dear Jessica,
Surrender. Let go. Be at peace. You don't have to change a thing, you are perfect as you are, right now.