Through my consciousness of my God-Self, the Christ within, as my Source, I draw into my mind and feeling nature the very substance of Spirit. This substance is my supply, thus my consciousness of the Presence of God within me is my supply.
My third cup of coffee is kicking in as the adrenaline from the crash wears off, 2 days later. My side is aching and I know I need to spend a lot more time resting but all I can think about is how much I want to make something as good as Nicki Minaj's and The Weeknd's albums. Am I ever going to start making music? Maybe I should devote more time to a meditation video with music. I just want to be struck with the inspiration but I know better. I've got to take the first step, hold up the lightning rod.
We meditated on the porch today. 70 degrees and breezy. A stray cat chillin with us. The sun peeking through some clouds. Peaceful. Dog across the street on a chain hanging out in the yard. I could barely focus on anything other than, "I love that dog. I love the leaves falling from the trees." All the things I would miss if I was dead, lol. Definitely seeing life through a different lens since The Incident. I don't have to try so hard. There's so much to appreciate in the Now. So much to love about right Now. I'm alive! I'm not maimed or dismembered! I'm not still in the hospital!
"My consciousness of the presence of god within me is my supply." I could feel nothing but the presence of god within me today. I see the beauty in the pain and the tragedy. How else you gonna remember to appreciate what you have?!
I am visualizing my next project... I picture myself showing it to my friend Katy in Austin. It's pocket size. Square. Crystalline. Pink. Mirrored.
"That's beautiful," she says, spellbound by the magick. As for the contents, I hear The Weeknd, making even something as painful as coming down sound sexy. It feels like good strong coffee, but pure, like clouds in heaven. It smells like water. Cool, clear waterfall water. Fresh. It tastes like LSD, of course.
Here's a list-style mind map:
- A mirrored lid with white powder.
- A miniature gumball machine.
- A calendar... that makes each day look exciting.
- A meditation...
- An altar...
- A mini tarot deck...
- Some teeny tiny crystal pentagram coins...
- Mini altar
- Mini meditation
- Take it anywhere...
- Take it like drugs
- Be the drug you want to take
- Tiny black and white illustrations
- Book of shadows
- Tarot deck of course
- Hula hoop
- Magick wand
- Sobriety is subversive
So happy and grateful to be awake and alive! So happy and grateful to be warm and comfortable! So happy and grateful to be working on my work. So happy and grateful to feel at peace with what is. So happy and grateful to be creating my best work. So happy and grateful to remember what I know: I'm the creator.
So happy and grateful to feel loved and supported and cared for and inspired. So happy and grateful to know my next step. So happy and grateful to be following through. So happy and grateful to feel light and free. So happy and grateful to know it's working. So happy and grateful to have beautiful music to listen to. So happy and grateful to be transmuting my contrast. So happy and grateful to be working on my next album.
Wouldn't it be nice to have the best night of my life? Wouldn't it be nice to get a massage and be cooked for? Wouldn't it be nice to get my bike repaired effortless in the flow? Wouldn't it be nice to know my next step on this deck/book/album project?
What do you want?
To effortlessly let this project flow. To know the format. To make something that is an album-book-tarotdeck-altar-cocaine. To relax and let what I want come to me. To make my best video yet. To create more and more. To feel that flow machine. To follow through. To begin and complete a project by Dec 1.
Today I intend to take steps in the direction of the flow. I intend to let the flow express itself through me. I intend to follow through. I intend to let inspiration come to me. I intend to be kind and compassionate and patient with myself. I intend to practice magick. I intend to focus my attention. I intend to trust the process of life.
I pray to stay sober today. I pray to let life express itself through me. I pray to let the flow through. Let the project commence. Let the games begin.
I'm switching to the version of reality I prefer. In the reality I prefer, I am making my best work. I am creating something wonderful. I am meticulously creating the best work I've ever seen. I am creating a masterpiece. I am letting pure love, magick and inspiration flow out of my fingers.
In the reality I prefer, everything is perfect and in its place. Everything is working out. I am in the right place at the right time. I am doing everything right. I am letting life be fun and easy. I am letting what I want come to me. I am focused on what I want and what I want more of. I am letting inspiration flow through me. I am letting life live me. I am letting life feel good today. I am letting life be fun! I am creating my best work, right now.
I love it when I take care of myself. I love it when I rest when I know I need to rest. I love it when I let go of my worries. I love it when I feel good!
Let yourself bask. You are transforming. It is all for you. It is all for you. It is everything you dreamed of.
** Note to self: practice constant gratitude **