I skipped writing Tuesday Tips this week because it felt more like work than art. "Why bother?" I asked myself. "Writing things down just pulls me out of the Now anyway." I asked Kelly what I should do and she said, "There is a time for Tuesday Tips, and there is a time to take a break from Tuesday Tips. Don't do it if you don't want to. I know that soon you'll write them again and tell me how much they help you." I let it go and now here I am, bursting with ideas I have to write down so they can leave my mind for yours. Here are a few illustrations of the laws of the universe I've noticed in my reality the past week.
1. Do you.
I don't really know how one does oneself, but I know it involves standing up for oneself and sometimes saying no. Whenever I try to do things to make other people happy, I get the short end of the stick. Do the things that make you happy, and then it doesn't matter how anyone else feels.
2. Do what you want first.
My friend Jenny has excellent job advice. To the people who get a full time job and think to themselves, "I'll just work this job for a while, then do the things I want." You'll never do the things you want, ever. First, do the things you want, and bank on your job working around it. Then you're always doing what you want and don't feel imprisoned by work.
3. Prepave parties and other group events.
Picture everyone having a good time, feeling joyful, having fun! We're going to a BBQ today and I am imagining hula hooping, grilling, water balloons, and fire. People laughing and laughing. Some sort of game that is so fun to play. Beers and jokes. Feeling welcome. Feeling delighted! (Here's our prepaving worksheet if you want a more structured exercise).
4. Don't worry about it.
Kelly had a dream where she was really pissed off at someone. Her mom said to her, "Don't worry about it." Pretty much the best advice ever, so now whenever one of us brings up a concern, we say to each other, "Don't worry about it."
5. Count silently in your head. Aim for 10,000.
I go back and forth with silent counting. I understand that it's ideal to let thoughts pass by like clouds past a window, but sometimes I get so wrapped up in my thoughts I forget to watch them. Silent counting gives me some breathing room. I still have plenty of thoughts, but instead of going down the whole storyline of each thought, I let it go and go back to counting. Silent counting helps me see that the majority of my thoughts are not important or necessary to think about, and I feel so much less anxiety.
6. Try this mantra: "I don't give a fuck; I love myself."
Last week I had a crappy day. It helped me realize I was caring way too much about what other people think. If I love myself, then it doesn't matter what other people think. Thus, a new mantra was born. I don't care if someone loves me less because I didn't please them. I love me enough for the both of us ♪
7. Make peace with what is.
I went downtown to work out and Kelly stayed home. I figured once I got back, she was going to want to leave right away. I was stressed about having to go out (I know, poor me) and all I wanted to do was stay in and work. I decided to not resist the flow, and just stopped caring about having the time to work. In the big picture, it truly doesn't matter. When I got home, Kelly was all, "Let's get our work done!" I got what I wanted because I stopped caring if I got it.
8. Go more deeply into this moment.
Eckhart Tolle recommends doing this to become more present and less identified with your thoughts. Say to yourself, "Go more deeply into this moment." How? Where? The answers are there when you ask.
9. Be creative.
A couple weeks ago, they painted our entire apartment complex white. They painted white on the brick! They painted the big concrete walls! Distressing at first, but I decided to embrace the change. "Maybe they're priming the surfaces for murals." Then they painted a mural! A tiny example, but it encourages me to dream bigger (there's a worksheet for that!).
10. Relax. Enjoy this moment.
Right now is all there is. You are a perfect dance of awareness! This moment is its own reward.