I used to say, "I hate getting gifts." It felt so embarrassing. I always felt guilty, like I had nothing to give in return. And what if I didn't like it? I'd have to fake gratitude.
What a shitty vibe! I now know that my aversion to gifts was caused by training myself into guilty thought patterns from childhood. I always had plenty, while some of my friends didn't have enough. How could I joyfully accept presents when other people weren't receiving?? What did I ever do to deserve kindness and generosity??
In the past three years I've been really getting to the bottom of my abundance vs. lack vibration. Today marks the first day that I can say the scales have tipped! Enter: the PayPal Offer.
Our friend Amber blogged about using the PayPal app to eat for free. Intrigued, Kelly investigated. It turns out PayPal is doing a promotion where, if you use their app to pay in local stores, they put $5, $7, $10 or even $20 towards your bill. The best part is that the PayPal money functions like gift cards--you never have to shell out any of your own money. You just check in with the app at the store, tell the cashier you're paying with PayPal, and you get your receipt. You can even buy alcohol and tip with this magical money!
There were over 30 local merchants with PayPal offers. Many of them expired today, so Kelly and I made it our mission this week to check out all these deals.
At first, I felt guilty. I felt like I was getting away with something bad. I felt like someone must be getting the short end of the stick. Who was I to go all around town getting free food when I have plenty of money to pay for groceries??
But the more places we visited, the more I was able to see the experience as me being absolutely SHOWERED with gifts from the universe. Not only were we trying all sorts of new places and eating delicious treats, but we were meeting new friends and noticing so many synchronicities. And on a couple occasions, we paid more than the PayPal offer covered, so we actually ended up patronizing new establishments with our own hard-earned cash. PayPal got what they wanted--we used their app to save OVER $120 in one week! The businesses got new customers. And we got to have so much fun!
This feeling of guilt about receiving has been one of my main points of contrast as an adult. But this week I've felt more and more like I did when I was a child--totally abundant, free and taken care of by the universe. And no one else had to go without because I accepted a gift.