I used to be bulimic. I would eat a pizza and some ice cream and maybe some snack cakes and then I'd puke it back up. On the surface it was fun and relaxing, but I always knew it wasn't really a sustainable way to deal with life.
I stopped barfing when Kelly moved in with me, nearly 6 years ago. But food is still one of my drugs of choice, so when I feel stressed or sad or don't want to deal with my life, I overeat.
I always start counting my calories under the guise of weightloss (it's the only thing I've ever found that works), but really I'm just budgeting instead of being unconscious.
After years of unconsciously spending credit, I went broke and had to start budgeting. The same thing happens with food--I go into calorie debt and start gaining weight.
Counting calories helps me know when to stop eating so I don't use food to deal with my emotions. Once I've had my budget for the day, I have to find some other way to feel good.
Even when I'm counting calories using MyFitnessPal, it can still be hard to keep it together. I have a tendency to count my calories all day, but then nightfall hits and I hit the liquor store. The liquor store invariably leads to drunken food purchases, which is a very annoying pattern.
So I post my little screen grabs on Instagram, because it keeps me from overeating and having to post an embarrassing calorie count. The fact that I get embarrassed by what I eat is a whole different therapy session in itself, but for now I'm doing this because it works.
I intend to keep this practice up for every day of 2014, so make your account-following plans accordingly. I know that I would be absolutely riveted by a regular calorie-intake update from any of my friends, so I hope I can provide you the same enjoyment!
- I don't usually bother to find exact foods or brands in the app, so sometimes it will say I had 3 tomato slices from Subway or a Popeyes mashed potatoes even though I have never eaten there before.
- Sometimes if I simply must drink or snack at night, I put those foods as breakfast for the next day. That's why you may have seen vodka and pizza for breakfast before...
- I still get my feelings hurt when people comment on my eating habits, but the benefits of perceived public scrutiny outweigh the actual feedback I get. Please don't judge me. I'm doing my best.