Tuesday Tips: 9 Reasons You’re Not Failing at Life

Tuesday Tips: 9 Reasons You’re Not Failing at Life

Art by Kelly Cree

Sometimes I panic and think I have failed at life. These are the things I try to remember when that happens.


1. Make peace with not doing.
I fall into the trap of comparing myself to others (especially while perusing Facebook). Why am I not camping, working, cooking, making elaborate jewelry, jumping off cliffs, flying airplanes, or playing with fire?! I get so stressed that I'm not doing enough!

But what I know is that inner peace comes from stillness. Happiness comes from within. The less I drive myself crazy trying to DO, the more I see the miracle of BEING. You don't have to always be DOING to be a good person! Your purpose here is to be alive.

2. Remember life is just for fun!
We're here to enjoy the moment, not plan the future or ruminate on the past. This RIGHT NOW is all we have. Are you having fun RIGHT NOW?! If not, you're probably worried about the future or spacing out in the past. You don't have to DO anything to start having fun—you can just be still, let your thoughts go, and connect to source. If hooking up with god isn't fun, I don't know what is!

3. Lean into the flow.
Kelly keeps talking about leaning into the flow. It's when you take action and expect a positive outcome. What action would you take right now if your success was guaranteed?


4. Don't be so hard on yourself!
Kelly had to tell me this today. Remember how far you've come! Think about how cool you would seem to your 12-year-old self! Make a list of your accomplishments, big or small, and try to see yourself from a friend's perspective. Here's my list:

Today This month This year Lifetime
  • Changed the litter!
  • Meditated
  • Learned two new hoop tricks
  • Cooked breakfast
  • Wrote 2000 words
  • Figured out how to pay my bills
  • Started going to a new group fitness class
  • Upped my weights in Body Pump
  • Released several new meditations and worksheets
  • Transitioned to a car-free lifestyle
  • Started working for myself full time again
  • Increased my passive income every month
  • Published my second book
  • Launched the School of Life Design store
  • Returned to a daily meditation practice
  • Got a BFA
  • Got an MFA
  • Blogged daily since 2010
  • Taught myself how to make websites
  • 6 year relationship still going strong!
  • Podcasting for over 5 years

5. Think about what you want.
Get yourself excited about life by thinking about what you want to go on your accomplishment list in 6 months. Then let your desires go, they're coming! TRUST. (Mine? Start a band. Increase passive income to $2400/month. Up my hoop practice to 2 hours a day. Meditate 30 minutes a day. Become a fitness instructor!)


6. Choose how you feel.
This is a slippery one, but one worth practicing. I asked my friend Karen how she keeps her zen, and she had the simplest answer: "I practice smiling. I love breathing. And when I notice my mood dipping, I change it." It might seem easier said than done, but all it takes is letting go of a negative thought that's making you feel bad. Just let go. Decide to feel good. You're the creator.


7. The more you let go, the more it flows.
Life can seem very hard when you're set on a specific outcome. The less you care, the more things go your way. It always comes when you stop caring. Try saying "I don't care," "I don't give a fuck," or "I've decided to feel good about that. It's working itself out."

8. Make peace with what is.
I have to remind myself of this all the time. As soon as I get what I want, I desperately want to be somewhere else. But resisting what is doesn't do any good. What you resist, persists! The INSTANT I start having fun where I am, life gives me an opportunity to move on. And every single time, I say, "Oh man, just when I was starting to like this!"

9. Get a crush on the Now.
So... say I have a crush on someone. When I'm with them, life is exciting! Life is new and different! Anything could happen! I'm laughing and having fun and have butterflies! I'm inspired! I want to be a better person and make good choices!

That's how I want to feel all the time. That's what all these self-help gurus tell me is available in the Now! I know from meditating and hallucinogens that the Now truly is a blissful state of excitement, knowing, and love.

I'm not exactly sure how to find my crush in every moment, but that's my homework for this week. The possibility gives me butterflies!

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.
  • novaa

    #7 dude is so accurate! once you realize you don’t have to let things bother or worry you anymore, you can just LOL at them. it’s like you can ignore these triggers that would normally knock you down a peg or two on the emotional scale and just level up instead.

    i’ve been having this hella contrast at my new job. when feeling that contrast, though, telling myself that i “love” my job is something i’m not going to believe in that state of anger. but when i instead choose a more neutral “don’t-care” attitude, i find it works exponentially better. i channel my energy into not giving fucks!

  • novaa

    (i dgaf –> i stop stressing –> the situation seems silly –> everybody LOL)

  • jessica mullen

    Hello sweet Novaa! You are totally right, it is way too hard to say you love something when your mind is screaming “NO I DON’T!!!”

    “I don’t care” is much better at helping me remember the bigger picture. And man, neutral is a state that I’m starting to realize is more blissful than extreme joy or euphoria – keeping a steady mood instead of being up and down all over the place.

    Don’t you feel so much more powerful when you don’t let things bother you? I LOVE LEVELING UP! <3

  • Jennifer griffin

    Jessica and Kelly – just a tiny note of thanks! you two came into my life as great change was occurring. Your message helped me find my own peace, my own truth. keep it up. you are on the path…we all are. it’s so powerful and real.

    I love the flow! :)


  • jessica mullen

    Thank you so much for the note Jen! We appreciate the encouragement SO MUCH.

Comments are closed.