Sometimes I panic and think I have failed at life. These are the things I try to remember when that happens.
1. Make peace with not doing.
I fall into the trap of comparing myself to others (especially while perusing Facebook). Why am I not camping, working, cooking, making elaborate jewelry, jumping off cliffs, flying airplanes, or playing with fire?! I get so stressed that I'm not doing enough!
But what I know is that inner peace comes from stillness. Happiness comes from within. The less I drive myself crazy trying to DO, the more I see the miracle of BEING. You don't have to always be DOING to be a good person! Your purpose here is to be alive.
2. Remember life is just for fun!
We're here to enjoy the moment, not plan the future or ruminate on the past. This RIGHT NOW is all we have. Are you having fun RIGHT NOW?! If not, you're probably worried about the future or spacing out in the past. You don't have to DO anything to start having fun—you can just be still, let your thoughts go, and connect to source. If hooking up with god isn't fun, I don't know what is!
4. Don't be so hard on yourself!
Kelly had to tell me this today. Remember how far you've come! Think about how cool you would seem to your 12-year-old self! Make a list of your accomplishments, big or small, and try to see yourself from a friend's perspective. Here's my list:
|Today||This month||This year||Lifetime|
5. Think about what you want.
Get yourself excited about life by thinking about what you want to go on your accomplishment list in 6 months. Then let your desires go, they're coming! TRUST. (Mine? Start a band. Increase passive income to $2400/month. Up my hoop practice to 2 hours a day. Meditate 30 minutes a day. Become a fitness instructor!)
6. Choose how you feel.
This is a slippery one, but one worth practicing. I asked my friend Karen how she keeps her zen, and she had the simplest answer: "I practice smiling. I love breathing. And when I notice my mood dipping, I change it." It might seem easier said than done, but all it takes is letting go of a negative thought that's making you feel bad. Just let go. Decide to feel good. You're the creator.
7. The more you let go, the more it flows.
Life can seem very hard when you're set on a specific outcome. The less you care, the more things go your way. It always comes when you stop caring. Try saying "I don't care," "I don't give a fuck," or "I've decided to feel good about that. It's working itself out."
8. Make peace with what is.
I have to remind myself of this all the time. As soon as I get what I want, I desperately want to be somewhere else. But resisting what is doesn't do any good. What you resist, persists! The INSTANT I start having fun where I am, life gives me an opportunity to move on. And every single time, I say, "Oh man, just when I was starting to like this!"
9. Get a crush on the Now.
So... say I have a crush on someone. When I'm with them, life is exciting! Life is new and different! Anything could happen! I'm laughing and having fun and have butterflies! I'm inspired! I want to be a better person and make good choices!
That's how I want to feel all the time. That's what all these self-help gurus tell me is available in the Now! I know from meditating and hallucinogens that the Now truly is a blissful state of excitement, knowing, and love.
I'm not exactly sure how to find my crush in every moment, but that's my homework for this week. The possibility gives me butterflies!