I woke up at 2pm today.
I had a few drinks Saturday night, even though I wanted to stay sober all of June.
I'm not as thin as I want to be.
I don't have as much money as I want.
I don't feel like working on my work.
I wish I could impress my parents.
This is the bullshit I was putting up with this morning. Dragging me down, making me crabby, all I wanted was to crawl back in bed or buy some drugs.
But I'm used to the cycle of experiencing contrast, remembering that I should roll with the punches, then doing the work to feel good again. I know that it's my responsibility to decide how I feel.
So I sat down at my computer to write. I started making my Monday to-do list. Write 1000 words. Meditate. Record meditation. Workout. Hoop. Make a podcast. EFT.
EFT, right! My new addition to my schedule! I started doing it last week and it worked wonders. By Friday I had stopped doing it because I had no contrast to get rid of.
Remembering the power of tapping, I pushed my writing and lists away to deal with my negative thoughts head on.
Tapping the karate chop point on my left hand with the four fingers of my right hand, I repeated in my head, "Even though I feel like a loser, I still completely and totally love and accept myself."
On a scale of 1-10, my discomfort with "feeling like a loser" was an 8. I tapped my eyebrow, thinking "I feel like a loser." Tapped the outside corner of my eye. "I feel like a loser." Tapped beneath my eye. "I feel like a loser."
Tapped between my nose and upper lip. "I feel like a loser." Tapped between chin and bottom lip. "I feel like a loser." Tapped my collarbone. "I feel like a loser." Tapped four inches below my underarm. "I feel like a loser."
I assessed my discomfort again. Now feeling like a loser was more like a 7. Back to the karate chop point. "Even though I feel like a loser, I still completely and totally love and accept myself." Then through the cycle of eyebrow, eye, undereye, nose, chin, collarbone, underarm again. Now the discomfort was a 6.
I repeated the procedure until my discomfort was a 0. As I tapped, I started liking my "feeling like a loser"-ness. It started to seem endearing, almost adorable. The mantra of "I still completely and totally love myself" was working.
EFT works for me for a lot of reasons. First, it makes me acknowledge what's bothering me, bringing it to light. Then, it pulls me into the present by forcing me to feel my body. It keeps more negative thoughts from coming in because I'm just repeating the same words over and over. Then, saying "I still completely and totally love myself" helps me begin to feel unconditional love for myself.
As I tap the different points, I feel my resistance fall away. Whatever my problem is, it stops seeming so serious. It's like a part of myself splits off to pet me and tell me everything is going to be ok.
Everything is going to be ok. You're not a loser. You're just like a baby animal learning how to walk. You're doing such a great job. Keep going. Keep getting up when you fall down. Pretty soon you'll be flying!
There are lots of resources for EFT. Gala Darling has an incredible post about it. The video below is the one I learned from most recently. Give it a shot, you'll be so glad you did!