How to Stop Thinking About Your Problems So They’ll Go Away

i love

How to Stop Thinking About Your Problems So They’ll…

i love

When I wrote about my coming out story, I was writing from fear. I was focusing on something I felt guilty about. I was trying to escape shame. And it worked! It made me feel supported and loved and relieved to write that.

Now I see how I needed that at the time, but it is no longer prudent to write about factual mortal physical reality.

If I cannot at this moment write my vision, I can at least write about what I love in my life. I can create out of love instead of using writing to fearfully pop the zits of my consciousness, digging and digging trying to eradicate the dark spots for a moment of relief. When the mark takes days to heal, I inevitably remember, "I should never touch them! They always disappear when I'm not focused on them."

It's exactly the same for the rest of our lives. The problems disappear when we're not focused on them. They literally fade away. When you stop thinking about your problems, you'll find you no longer have them.

Here are three routes to stop thinking about your problems.

#1 Focus on bringing more of what you like in.

Don't make goals to stop doing things like:

  • overeating
  • drinking
  • eating meat
  • doing drugs

Instead set intentions to fill your life more with things you enjoy. Allow these things to come to you naturally, instead of taking action to make them happen. For example:

  • I intend to meditate a little bit every day.
  • I intend to write.
  • I intend to make art.
  • I intend to practice hooping.

I have meditated every day since my "rehab" began. I've made more art and created more. I did a shitload of worksheets that helped keep me focused in times of extreme contrast.

But I've also drank, smoked, eaten meat, etc. Everything I wanted to stop was like "HELL NO! WE AIN'T GOIN' NOWHERE!" The restrictions made me feel guilty while the additions made me feel joy and success.

#2: Use a mantra and seriously, for real, stick to thinking it all day.

GET CONTROL OF YOUR MIND. Tame the beast! It's outta control in there!

Send a vibration of love. Meditate. Think in mantras. Count. Do whatever you have to do to maintain a meditative state of focus, all day. Say "I love myself" most of the time and "I love you" when interacting with other beings.

#3: Make Love Art

The third way to stop thinking about your problems is to actively create about what you already have that you like. What I'd like to be doing on my site, instead of lamenting financial acne, is creating content about all the things I love and would love more of:

  • flow toys
  • homecooked vegan food
  • good music
  • friends
  • kitties

That list was a little hard to generate. I haven't done this in a long time. I became so quickly habituated to the good things in my life that I forgot to feel grateful until they started slipping away.

I intend to spend time focusing on what I love that I already have!

So simple. It's always so simple.

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.
  • Jesslyn Littlepage Ostrokol

    Great post, Jessica! And as usual, totally relevant to my life right now. I’m working on relishing my imperfections, particularly living a healthy, happy, fun, low stress life and totally forgetting about things like wanting to lose weight or stop overeating. Let the good times roll…

  • jessica mullen

    Thanks Jesslyn! It’s so hard for me to not try to restrict, but I forget about that when I add in fun :]

  • Morgan

    This advice is actually contradictory to what is taught in therapy. As a person dealing with depression and anxiety, I have learned that I need to be able to sit with my emotions and let myself feel memories and painful things instead of avoiding them. Avoiding problems only makes them worse. One should begin the process of learning to sit with emotions and embrace them, whatever they are, with love and kindness…loving every part of yourself. Peace :)

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