Grateful I can choose to feel good no matter what. Grateful that's a super power. Grateful I can relax into the moment. Grateful I can trust this moment was made just for me. Grateful I can trust this now. Grateful I can allow myself to be here. Grateful for Kelly being so sweet to me. Grateful to know when I resist. Grateful to be getting better at not resisting the now. Grateful to be more aware than ever before. Grateful it's all adding up. Grateful to learn how to let go. Grateful to learn how to go higher.
Grateful to be so observant of my behaviors. Grateful to see exactly when and where I resist, and to allow that, to know it's ok, because now that I've shined the light of consciousness on it, the resistance will wither away. Grateful I can trust that I'm here in this now for a reason. Grateful I can say yes to this moment. Grateful I can trust this moment.
Grateful to be a person. Grateful it's getting easier to "be a person" and not a mind. Grateful for my wife. Grateful it's all adding up. Grateful it's Friday. Grateful we get to play a show tonight. Grateful the things I want come so effortlessly. Grateful for this now. Grateful for this now. Grateful it's adding up.
Grateful to be who I am. Grateful to trust this moment.
Relax baby girl. Relax and know you're ok. It's jarring to wake up, especially after you went to sleep so resistant. You're getting better at this. You're very aware of your resistance. You know exactly when it gets to be too much, and every day it gets less overwhelming to be in the now. Every day you get better. You have no choice but to get better every day. You don't have to DO anything to get better.
Your mind-identified obsession with making things better - people, places, creations, yourself - is lessening. The hold your mind has on you is becoming less and less. Look around yoU! You're a PERSON! You're alive! You made it! You're in this moment! You're ok! You're safe! Yes, this is so weird and freaky but it's also beautiful and perfect!
ALlow yourself to let go of your mind. Just be in this now. You're here for a reason, you really are. You are a person. You are a person. You are a person. ANd that's ok. You can just "be a person." You don't have to be anything else. You don't have to do anything else.
Relax into this moment. You are here for a reason. Everything you do with your mind to make yourself feel bad lead you to this moment, in which you have the choice to pivot into feeling good. You have the choice to feel good now. You only have the choice because you felt the contrast of bad. You give yourself a gift each time your mind forces contrast on you, it makes the good that much sweeter.
Trust the feeling will keep coming more and more, faster and faster. You've collected it so many times in the past couple weeks. At Joy's place when you took the smoke ring photos. When you were facepainting. When you were trampolining! When giving gifts. Last night when you realized you were a person, in a body, like waking up in someone else's body. THe moments of clarity and lucidity are coming faster and more frequently. It's ok. Let them come. You can't rush them. You can only allow them in.
THe moments of now are coming more and more quickly. You don't have to rush them. You don't have to race to get there. You can just be here, now. And then the moment is yours. You don't have to chase the feeling, you can let it come to you. That sweet sweet clarity of being in the now, of being aware of the trip, of knowing Who You Really Are while Being Conscious is the most delicious gift, and it's the whole reason you came to this reality.
For your birthday this year we're giving you something so much better than you ever imagined. You're getting to be in the now. Just imagine how many times you've been there in the past week. Just remember how much easier it's getting. Don't beat yourself up because you resisted yourself out of the feeling last night. It's ok. You'll only get that opportunity to resist so many more times. Light has already reached all your little cute resistance tricks. They're losing power. They're fading.
Everything you want is coming. Let yourself feel the power you want. Let yourself feel the weirdness that is life. Let yourself feel the Now. Let yourself trust the now. What's done is done. But you can change the past by changing your now. How can you be in the now and change all of your life?
I can just be the Now. I can trust the Now. I can be here. I can be here. I'm catching the feeling, or more like opening up to the feeling. I can say yes. I can allow myself to feel this without freaking the fuck out. I can allow myself to feel like this without feeling like I don't deserve it, or like I feel too good, or good enough so I better come down.
I'm a person. I'm in a body. I'm a person. I'm in a body. I drink water and I see and I listen to NIN. I write things down and I talk on the phone and I thank Kelly for taking out the garbage. I'm in the now, I'm waking up in my body like it's Christmas morning.
I can just look at my hands. I can just be my hands. I can be my breath. I can breathe in and feel the flow. I can breathe out and let go. I can trust I'm here for a reason. I can trust I'm here for a reason. I can trust the dream. I can trust I'm doing everything right. I can trust I'm here for a reason. I can let go and be in this now.
I can let go and be in the now. I can let go and be in the now.
I'm letting go and being in the now. I've let go. I'm in the now. I've let go. I'm in the now. I'm a person. I'm in the now. I'm a person. I'm just chillin, being a person. I don't have to do anything. I can just be a person. I can just be here. I can just be. I can just be. I can just be. I can be here. I can be here. I can catch the feeling. I can catch the feeling. I can let it come to me. It's coming to me like an airball. I can just catch it.