I am so grateful for this beautiful day I had. I am so grateful for everything I learned. I am so grateful I read an entire book cover to cover today! I'm so grateful I allowed myself to take the day off and READ and NAP. I am so grateful I re-read that book. The first time I read it 6 years ago, it changed my life and I quit my day job. Now that I have an entirely different perspective on reality it was EVEN BETTER. Basically it's a giant allegory about the power of thought and how to un-learn all the social programming we've received. IT IS SO BRILLIANT.
I am so grateful we went to RPM this morning and got a good workout in. I am so grateful Kelly COOKED for me all day! She cooked muffs and smoothies and pasta! And then she CLEANED all night!! I am so grateful for my beautiful wonderful wife! She is the most amazing person in my life and I am so happy and grateful for her existence! I am so grateful we're married! I'm so grateful our relationship has proved to be so strong! I am so grateful for our cozy life together. I am so grateful we get each other so hard. I'm so grateful we get to spend so much time together. We know each other so well. I am so grateful for her smile and her eyes that always see everything. I am so grateful for her attitude. I am so grateful for everything she has taught me. I am so grateful for all the joy she has enabled me to feel. I am so grateful for my perfect wife.
I am so grateful that every time I set the intention to love Kelly more, I do! I am so grateful that I realize you can choose how to feel in a relationship! I am so grateful we are a perfect match. I am so grateful we take such good care of each other. I am so grateful we went through our "transition" at the same time - I'm so grateful we taught each other how to think. We re-established our entire belief systems together. What a journey! What a beautiful adventure we've had!
I'm so grateful that we are both willing to take risks. I am so grateful that neither one of us has much use for security. I am so grateful we are both adventurous. I am so grateful we are both so smart. I am so grateful Kelly always helps me remember what I know. I am so grateful she my oracle! She always knows the answer! I am so grateful she is my social director. She is the master of physical reality! She is the most magickal person I've ever met in my whole life.
I am so grateful to be taking the time to focus. I am so grateful to be remembering what I loved about my day. I'm so grateful I read a whole book!!! I'm so grateful that when we got home from class, I deliberately looked for the best feeling thing to "do". I'm so grateful I realized I wanted to read and nap all day and then I LET MYSELF DO IT. I'm so grateful I'm learning how to listen to and trust my emotions! I am so grateful to have this guidance system that really does work every time! You just have to stop caring about what other people think about your decisions and do what truly feels best. You know every single time. You just have to take the time to think about it!
I'm so grateful I have a new article idea. I'm so grateful that Castaneda book taught me so much about meditation. I'm so grateful I can see past the vocabulary used in the book. I'm so grateful I understand what they really mean. I'm so grateful the book applies to my life more than ever. I'm so grateful I've been reading more lately! I'm so grateful for yet another example of the law of attraction in action... have a desire, let it go, it manifests. Everything is like that, really truly honestly. Let it go. You don't have to DO ANYTHING.
I'm so grateful to be in such good shape. I'm so grateful for my strong body and health. I'm so grateful I feel so young. I'm so grateful I am getting better at removing limiting beliefs. I'm so grateful I'm getting better at not caring about what others think. I'm so grateful I know to listen to my guidance! It's like I want to practice in every moment now! What feels best now? What feels best now?
Writing feels best. I'm so grateful I can write whenever I want. I'm so grateful I spend so much time writing, even if it is focused into these prompts - what else would I rather be writing about anyway? I'm so grateful that these posts serve as a journal and for once in my life I have a journal that doesn't have to be friends only. I'm so grateful that I choose to focus on the positive! I'm so grateful that Kelly is teaching me the art of doing nothing. I am so grateful I learn so much every single day.
Wouldn't it be nice to have an orgy? Wouldn't it be nice to play in a band? Wouldn't it be nice to apply what I learned from that book to my life? Wouldn't it be nice to re-read the rest of Castaneda's books? Wouldn't it be nice to remember "it's whatever you want"? Wouldn't it be nice to keep it together? Wouldn't it be nice to live impeccably? Wouldn't it be nice to lucid dream tonight? Wouldn't it be nice to meditate? Wouldn't it be nice to exercise? Wouldn't it be nice to go on an adventure? Wouldn't it be nice to learn about different cultures? Wouldn't it be nice to visit different cultures? Wouldn't it be nice to go to Bali? Wouldn't it be nice to try surfing? Wouldn't it be nice to have a printout of my thoughts every day, and at the end of the day go through them all and cross out all the ones I never want to think again?
Wouldn't it be nice to be a warrior? Wouldn't it be nice to be a sorcerer? Now I am! Wouldn't it be nice to remember that ever desire I have is already created, I only have to become a vibrational match to it? Wouldn't it be nice to have impeccable thoughts, actions and words? Wouldn't it be nice to have a bonfire? Wouldn't it be nice to meet a new mentor? Wouldn't it be nice to let go of more? Wouldn't it be nice to have more courage? Wouldn't it be nice to have more ways to visualize my thoughts? Wouldn't it be nice to find more ways to stop thinking? Wouldn't it be nice to get a massage? Wouldn't it be nice to give one? Wouldn't it be nice to drive my car as fast as it can go?
Wouldn't it be nice to have really colorful walls? Wouldn't it be nice to have more things upside down? Wouldn't it be nice to spend more time upside down? Wouldn't it be nice to switch up the format of these posts, or at least write differently? Wouldn't it be nice to eat pizza that tastes like East Side's pepperoni but is still vegan? Wouldn't it be nice to innovate? Wouldn't it be nice to do some body painting? Wouldn't it be nice to be a part of the circus community? Wouldn't it be nice to have a bigger group of friends? Wouldn't it be nice to feel like seeing people more? Wouldn't it be nice to behave like I'm drunk without drinking? (Meaning, wouldn't it be nice to release all my inhibitions.)
Wouldn't it be nice to have an easy way to see my thoughts? Wouldn't it be nice to record my dreams? Wouldn't it be nice to translate the images I see in my mind to digital effortlessly? Wouldn't it be nice to get one of those visionary massages from Kelly? Wouldn't it be nice to keep removing things from my life?
Wouldn't it be nice to walk on water? Wouldn't it be nice to ride a flying animal? Wouldn't it be nice to fly with my own power? Wouldn't it be nice if it turned out that Body Pump really was preparing us to fly? Wouldn't it be nice to release more limiting beliefs? Wouldn't it be nice to see a list of every single limiting belief I have? Wouldn't it be nice to remember that I create my self with each new thought and there is no need to dwell on past thoughts or beliefs?
I believe that I am perfect.
I believe that I am as powerful as I want to be.
I believe that other people's opinions do not matter.
I believe that I have an emotional guidance system that never fails.
I believe that I am creating reality.
I believe that I can be or do or have anything I want.
I believe that like attracts like.
I believe that I am a vibrational being.
I believe that things manifest in physical reality as a direct result of my thoughts.
I believe that all I have to do to get something I want is have the desire, then let go of the desire and trust that it's coming. Then it comes. Every time. The trick is to forget about the desire.
I believe that everything is perfect and in its place and that I am doing everything right and that this moment is important, incredible, and all that exists.
What do I want?
I want to end all self-destructive behaviors for good. I want to treat myself and my body as if it were my best friend or child. I want to remember my power at all times. I want to be decisive and deliberate. I want to be a better designer. I want to be a better wife. I want to be a better friend. I want to be a better magician. I want to be a better person. I want to be better better better.
But why? Did I not just say I was perfect as I was?! I don't need to change a thing!
I want an easy way to make music with AJ. I want to swim in a lake. I want to see the sun shining through water. I want to feel weightless. I want to feel free. I want to go skiing. I want to do handstand pushups. I want to get WAY more into fitness! I want to do a brilliant photoshoot. I want to travel with Kelly. I want to relax more. I want to do less and achieve more. I want to read more books. I want swim in jello. I want to break things. I want to destroy tvs and electronics and other smashables.
I want to break glass. I want to learn archery. I want to live in a forest. I want to permacamp. I want to be wild. I want to break free. I want to change. I want more flo ball friends. I want more lucid dreams. I want to let go of more! I want to embrace my power!
What I want to feel today
- Freedom. From other people's opinions, from negative thoughts, from social conventions. From inhibitions, from limiting beliefs, from habits and routines.
- Knowing. The knowing that I am making this up for me. The knowing that I am free to create anything. The knowing that I can unhinge myself from society if I desire. The knowing that I can do whatever I want, and more - the knowing that I SHOULD do whatever I want. The knowing that I can ONLY do what I want. The knowing that I am all-powerful and that I am in complete control. The knowing that I'm running this show. The knowing that nothing matters, but that it's fun to be here. The knowing that love really is at the bottom of it all. The knowing that I am eternal. The knowing that I am god. The knowing that everything is unfolding perfectly.
Today I intend to be impeccable in my thoughts, words and actions.
Today I intend to not care about what anyone else thinks.
Today I intend to love myself unconditionally.
Today I intend to only do things I wouldn't mind dying doing.
Today I intend to embrace my power.
Today I intend to think about what I want.
Today I intend to be joyful, playful, and loving.
Today I intend to focus. Today I intend to have fun. Today I intend to run this show.
Today I intend to remember that everything in my physical reality is an indicator, or a sign. Every single thing is an indicator of my thoughts.
I love being without routine. I love knowing when I need change. I love the feeling of being ready for change. I love feeling prepared for anything.
I love listening to my emotional guidance system. I love listening to myself and myself alone. I love knowing that I get to make all the decisions.
I love feeling empowered. I love feeling in control. I love feeling in the moment. I love knowing my power is in the moment.
I love teaching my body things my mind doesn't understand. I love tuning my awareness to abundance and love and power. I love the simplicity of it all - all I have to do is listen to my guts, my intuition, my emotions, my BUILT IN GUIDANCE. It tells me everything I need to know, ALWAYS!
I love realizing that I really can do less and achieve more. I love letting go of my need to always be "doing". I love the progress I am making. I love the power I am feeling. I love boiling down my thoughts to gems that I can hold onto and be excited about for a day or two.
11 things I'm excited about today
- Lack of routine
- Teaching my body new tricks
- Not-doing as much as possible
- Truly looking within for guidance in every decision
- Not caring about what anyone else thinks. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT.
- Only doing things I wouldn't mind dying doing.
- Lucid dreaming. Attempting to look at my hands in my dreams (a Castaneda suggestion).
- Looking at everything as an indicator.
- The idea that "power commands you, yet it is at your command." (More Castaneda)
- Looking for inspiration for a dreaming headband.
10 things I appreciate about myself
- Can't stop won't stop
- I'm getting so much better at all this!
- I'm learning to let go more and more!
- I'm getting better at not doing anything until I know it's a FUCK YEAH
- I'm in charge of it all!
- I get stronger every day.
- I'm beginning to understand the importance of not thinking. Thinking is doing!
- Gosh I'm pretty.
- And really fun to be around!
- I see the big picture.
Advice from Clair
Clair, how can I learn to listen to my emotions better?
Practice is the only way. Practice every moment you can. Every decision is an opportunity to think and feel, think and feel. Don't overcomplicate things. Just listen to yourself and yourself alone. You don't have to plan ahead or decide to stop drinking forever or think much at all.
If you find yourself outside of the flow, just ask yourself what's the easiest way to jump back in. What's the easiest, best feeling, most fun thing you can do? This is where your wants and social conventions have tripped you up in the past. But your major progress of the day was seeing evidence of not needing to DO anything.
Just because you wish you were inspired to do a certain thing doesn't mean you should force yourself to try to do it. And there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to base your decisions around someone else.
Release your desires (they're already created anyway!) and cares about what other people think. Then your decision making will be effortless and flowing, just like that blade of grass. :D
Follow your emotions and you'll be lead to the manifestations of your desires! Thinking about them is NOT the path!
Telling my future
Today I make my decisions for myself alone, and watch the miracles unfold.
What does your about page say today?
I do what I want, when I want. I have no rules, routines, or facts. I am pure awareness in physical form and I'm here to have as much fun as possible.
Interview with myself
What do you want to get out of this day?
I want to practice listening to my emotions. I want to walk the walk.
This is what my ideal day looks like:
Wake up and record lucid dream.
Write gathering momentum post.
Eat raw breakfast.
Ask myself, "now what?" and think and feel, think and feel until I am "in the flow."
Repeat the rest of the day.
Today's affirmations / thoughts to bookmark
- I am the flow.
- I run this show.
- I listen to myself and myself alone.