I am so grateful for Sharon's Attitude Gratitude post. She refers to my last gathering momentum post, saying "I love today's gathering momentum post from Jessica, because it makes me feel she's reached a point where she has reached a higher level of consciousness. Truly. So inspiring."
I am so grateful that my vibration is reflecting that kind of feedback to me. I am so grateful that I am at a higher level of consciousness. What does that even mean? Today it just means that I get it and I live it the best I can. I'm practiced. I do my job.
I'm so grateful I repaired some AJs and did a bunch of custom mods today! I'm so grateful for Astrojax. I'm so grateful I'm still so into them after 4 months. I'm so grateful there is always more to learn. I'm so grateful they always teach me what I want to know.
I'm so grateful that I create my self with each new thought. I'm so grateful that all that matters is right NOW. I'm so grateful the world is designed the way it is. I'm so grateful I have some grasp on the big picture. I'm so grateful I feel safer than with any religion. I am so grateful that my eyes have been opened and they can never be shut. I'm so grateful I'm waking up.
I'm so grateful that I choose to focus, day after day after day after day. I am so grateful to have a daily practice in these posts. I'm so grateful that writing these posts is less like a chore and more like a relaxing spa treatment. It's fun to come here and play with ideas that make me feel good.
I'm so grateful for Kelly's artistic progress. I'm so grateful I get to watch her artist self bloom. I'm so grateful she inspires me to draw more. I'm so grateful she inspires me to do less. I'm so grateful I understand the concept of "do nothing, achieve everything" more every day.
I'm so grateful that I am creatively driven. I am so grateful that even if I never make another large scale project the rest of my life, these daily posts are art enough. I am so grateful that this is an artform of some kind. The art of thought direction.
I'm so grateful I am thinking of these posts in new ways. I'm grateful I was super inspired by the typography on the latest post at Gilt Clover!
I am so grateful I can feel a new project coming. I am so grateful I am making so much progress vibrationally. I am so grateful for my expansion. I am so grateful I get to catch up! I am so grateful for the process of life. I am so grateful for the pulse. I am so grateful for the inspiration to make art. I am so grateful for time to do what I want.
I am so grateful to be focusing on this beautiful Friday night. I am so grateful we get to go to the gym in the morning and do spin and pump. I am so grateful for our workout schedule because it provides so much continuity. I am so grateful that I need very little external stimulation to be entertained, I spend most of my time playing with ideas in my own head.
I am so grateful to be choosing to focus. I am so grateful for the feeling of relief that comes with writing paragraphs and paragraphs of gratitude. I am so grateful that it works every single time. I am so grateful that my fingers type my thoughts without having to think about it. I am so grateful for this body. I am so grateful for FOCUS OMG.
I am so grateful that I'm inspired to work on the podcast again. I am so grateful that doing the podcast pushes me to be more open. I'm so grateful the podcast forces me to evaluate my position from a different perspective. I am so grateful that the podcast challenges me to be as weird as possible. I am so grateful that I always strive to stand out and be unique. It's fun.
I am so grateful that writing these posts always orders my consciousness. I'm so grateful for this opportunity to focus.
Wouldn't it be nice to spend more time doing gymnastics? Wouldn't it be nice to improve my AJ flow? Wouldn't it be nice to be able to access flow whenever I want? Wouldn't it be nice to make visual art? Wouldn't it be nice to improve my hand skills? Wouldn't it be nice to find a new thought pattern to hold onto? Wouldn't it be nice to have my thoughts printed so I could observe them more easily? Wouldn't it be nice to program myself like a computer a little more easily?
What do I want?
I want to program myself into knowing. I want to exist in a state of knowing. It's my only wish!
A state of knowing is another way to describe the vortex. I want to always be in my vortex.
Our thoughts determine what manifests, and our emotions are physiological responses to thoughts. By selecting our thoughts very carefully, we can always exist in whatever emotion we desire. We just have to find the thoughts that make us feel knowing.
The thing is that no thoughts make us feel knowing. Since thought is the only thing that can cut us off from the flow of well being, we are instantly connected to our source when we are without thought. This happens when we sleep, meditate, and "flow".
So to program myself into knowing, I have to exist in flow when not sleeping or meditating. I have a few things that help me get into flow, but I want something more immediate.
So far I have the mantra "I feel so good I'm in the flow." I have Astrojax, which get me in the flow pretty easily if I focus. I have other flow toys like hooping and poi.
I have drawing, which puts me in flow if I can calm my need to DO something enough. I have writing, which puts me in the flow very easily, but requires a lot of focus.
Group fitness classes do the trick almost every time.
It seems like I'm looking for a symbolic action or thought process that distracts me from my physical reality and is also a cumulative good, like exercising. Astrojax really does a fantastic job at this, so I guess I'm looking for something to use when I'm not playing AJ.
What does the feeling of knowing feel like? It feels like I KNOW that my thoughts are creating my reality. It feels like being attuned to receiving the manifestations I desire. It feels like things unfolding perfectly, especially social interactions. It feels like the people around me operating more as my backup dancers than entities with their own agendas. It feels like playing AJ with the whole world. It feels like looking in the mirror. It feels like smiling at myself. It feels like meeting with Clair in my mind. It feels like magick. It feels like Christmas morning. It feels like popples and pound puppies and magick wands. It feels like being taken care of for the rest of my life. It feels like abundance and love.
In the feeling of knowing, I don't have many thoughts. I have some picture-thoughts, of scenes that remind me of the feeling of knowing or that are evidence of it. In the feeling of knowing, my mind feels like it's whirring on its own, on positivity autopilot. It feels like movement even after I've stopped moving. It feels like so much relief, like "of COURSE all that stuff had to go down, so I could have THIS MOMENT." It feels like peace and harmony. It feels like I'm vibrating at the level of source. Like I'm in sync with the flow of life. Like I'm a blade of grass.
Knowing feels like going real deep and finding more comfort the deeper I go. It feels like unwrapping a present. It feels like being loved. It feels like everyone in my life coming together to tell me they love me and throw me a party. It feels like it's all here for me. It feels like I'm the main event, the shooting star, the creator of it all. It feels like, when I look at people, they give me this look like "yay you're getting it!" Not because they are separate from me and more advanced than me, but because I made them to teach me and I designed them to have a look of recognition in their eyes when I'm getting closer to my source. When I feel knowing, looking at other people is like looking in the mirror.
Knowing feels like going at the perfect speed. It feels like being able to handle power. It feels like all I can say is "just jump in! do it! it's easy, just jump!" It feels like letting go. Knowing IS letting go, because you let go of things you know will come back to you. Letting go is trusting the universe to support you. Letting go is KNOWING that everything is unfolding perfectly.
Knowing is like watching a group of people perform a beautiful routine, and realizing that you can join them. Once you join the routine, your body automatically knows how to do all the moves. And you stare at yourself in amazement, thinking "I knew how to do this all along! I've always known this!"
Knowing is loving yourself unconditionally. Love is at the same level as knowing emotionally. And everything in your reality is a reflection of you. So when you love your reality unconditionally, you love yourself unconditionally, and vice versa.
I love you no matter what you do. I love you because I am one who loves, not because you are lovable.
What I want to feel today
- Knowing. And I want to get there with my thoughts alone, not requiring any activity. Or at least I want to find a new symbolic action.
Today I intend to design and craft and make and scheme and create. Today I intend to enjoy doing what I love doing most - thinking and feeling, thinking and organizing, thinking and having epiphanies.
I love that I can choose to turn my thoughts around at any instant. I don't have to sleep first, I don't have to work out first, I don't have to meditate first. I don't require a hard restart to shift processes.
I love thinking about a good mood pill, that isn't based on chemicals, but instead on thoughts. Taking a pill is one of the easiest ways to remedy various ills, can a pill remedy a bad mood without containing chemicals? And I don't just mean a placebo, I mean can you swallow a thought to make it take root and start thinking it instead of whatever negative thoughts you have going on? Can there be a knowing-thought-pill?
I love that these posts are how I conceptualize my projects. I love writing as design. I love that while I type away at these prompts, I'm formulating designed products in the background. I love my process.
There must be some way to instantly "quantum leap" to the feeling of knowing without drugs. It has to be the simplest seed thought, almost like a koan. It has to work on anyone. It has to take hold and stay there. Even if it only works once, like hearing a joke for the first time, it would be a wonderful step in the right direction.
When I perform AJ for people, especially drunk people at bars, I can communicate that feeling of knowing (as long as I'm feeling it too). Because in order for me to perform properly, I have to let go completely and give all control to the universe/life/source. I have to let life live me. I have to let source guide my hands and movements. I have to be free of thought.
How can we easily let life live us? What is a seed thought that instantly stops thought and sticks you in the flow?
I can picture the newscast now, "Doctors have a new drug on the market - one that stops thought. Researchers say that thinking less can actually enhance our enjoyment of life as well as increase our creative output." Hahahaha wouldn't you laugh if that was on the news?
I love working this out here. I love focusing. I love that I have refined what I want so much more. I love that I am a deliberate creator. I love that I focus on solutions. I love that I design for fun. I love being an independent designer. I love listening to myself and myself alone.
11 things I'm excited about today
- Pondering knowing.
- RPM and Pump in the morning!
- Playing AJ with my new custom sets!
- Practicing letting go.
- Practicing knowing.
- Choosing focus more and more.
- Loving myself.
- Recording a new TPP ep!!
- Having fun laughing with Kelly.
- POP MUSIC ATTACK!
- Thinking because it's fun.
10 things I appreciate about myself
- I can party like a pro.
- I am driven.
- I fine tune my vibration every single day.
- I've come so far in the past year!
- I know that focus is a lifelong path, not a one time event.
- I do what feels best.
- I ask myself first.
- I see more and more evidence of the laws of the universe in action every single day.
- I make AJ videos.
- I am getting better at letting go and loving unconditionally.
Advice from Clair
Clair, how can I make a simple thought direction tool that's a digital download and that works really well?
Remember that the solution is right in front of you, and you just have to tune yourself to the vibration of the solution. What does it feel like to have this tool in your possession?
It feels like having a magick wand. It feels like being in a lucid dream. It feels like relief, knowing that I am always one instant away from the feeling of knowing. It feels like having something that everyone wants to look at because it's so unique. It feels like getting stopped on the street by everyone asking me where I got it. It feels like new technology. It feels like a miracle. It feels like an iphone sort of. It feels like a text from a crush - you know, the one when they seal the deal by admitting sexual attraction. It feels like YES, things are aligning for me! Yes, this really works!
It feels like a new toy that you are so excited to wake up and play with, like a new video game system or computer or musical instrument. It feels like a reason to get out of bed. It feels like something that once it exists, we'll think "how did we ever get along before this?!"
It feels like when I used to use my own blood in ritual magick. I knew that if I used my own blood, it would work. And it did, every single time.
It feels like a spell that you know works. It feels like once you look at it, you really can let go. It feels like accomplishing something. It feels like the best guided meditation in the world, but it can be accessed without sound. It's just an object. But it triggers something. It's simple, like a circle or a ring. But it's infinitely complex, like a quantuum computer.
It feels like realizing you have a new belief that's really serving you. It feels like a magick button.
The solution clears your mind, reminds you of what you know, and instantly makes you let go. And now that I know what the solution feels like, I can stop thinking about the "how" and let the inspiration come from the universe. I can let go now.
Telling my future
Today I keep my focus and flow from one activity to another, always choosing the perfect thing to do, think and say. Today I explore the flow. Today I am a flow pioneer. Today I am trusting the universe. Today I am letting go.
What does your about page say today?
I am the player; life is my game.
Interview with myself
What do you want to have accomplished by June 1?
I designed a simple thought direction tool (digital download!) that sold like wildfire because it really, really works.
I solved the money puzzle.
I spend 95% of my time in the feeling of knowing.
I can do 10 pullups.
Today's affirmations / thoughts to bookmark
- I go with the flow.
- I am the player and life is my game.
- All I do is win.