Today is my former therapist Connie's birthday! So I'm going to focus this post on her enormous impact on my life. I am so grateful I got to go to therapy. I'm so grateful that the weirdest circumstances led me to the counseling center. I'm so grateful I first met Connie under the guise of "couples counseling". I'm so grateful that she encouraged me to come back by myself afterwards. I'm so grateful that when I skipped our second session, she called me and made sure I came to the next session.
I'm so grateful for Connie because she taught me that I'm not a bad person and that I shouldn't hate myself. I'm so grateful for Connie because she spent 3 years talking to me, in person, on a weekly basis. I'm so grateful she encouraged me to do well in graphic design. I'm so grateful she helped me end my endless stream of self-hating thoughts. I'm so grateful she helped me improve my health so much! I'm so grateful for her kindness and generosity with her time. I'm so grateful she accepted creative gifts from me because I needed to show her my appreciation and was so awkward about it. I'm so grateful we laughed so much together.
I'm so grateful Connie listened to all my debaucherous stories without committing me. I'm so grateful she gave me some perspective on my life. I'm so grateful she helped me out of my bubble of suburban guilt. I'm so grateful she LISTENED for so long! I am so eternally grateful for this woman. I would not be anywhere NEAR the person I am today without her.
I'm so grateful we still keep in touch. I'm so grateful we can talk a little more normally now and less therapeutically. I'm so grateful that life is long and I still have so much time to keep in touch :] I'm so grateful Connie helped me dig myself out of a hole. I'm so grateful she helped me turn my life around. I'm so grateful she showed me the other side of the wave. I'm so grateful she always said "life is good". I'm so grateful she helped me see life is good.
I'm so grateful that every time I crossed the line of what's kosher in a client/therapist relationship, she didn't cross with me and made sure I knew what was up ;] I'm so grateful she let me bring my pets to therapy! Once I brought my snake and once I brought Pwny haha.
Wouldn't it be nice to hang out with Connie again soon? Wouldn't it be nice to be friends? Wouldn't it be nice if this post wasn't awkward?
Wouldn't it be nice if it got warm out, like in the 60s? Wouldn't it be nice to practice the feeling of wellness? Wouldn't it be nice to find more feelings to practice and remember to do it? Wouldn't it be nice to practice the feeling of abundance? Wouldn't it be nice to practice the feeling of excitement? Wouldn't it be nice to practice the feeling of ecstasy?
Today I intend to feel good. Today I intend to focus. Today I intend to practice feelings I want more of. Today I intend to look for the other side of the wave. Today I intend to enjoy the trip.
I love that I got to remember all these things about Connie and therapy. I love that I had three years of therapy and there's nothing WRONG with that! I love that therapy did so so so much for me. I love that it completely changed the entire direction of my life. I love that Connie saw me for over 3 years. I love that I have so many wonderful memories of our time together. I love that she must help hundreds of people every year. I love that she is so good at what she does. I love how devoted to her work she is. I love keeping in touch with her. I love focusing on good memories!
11 things I'm excited about today
- Life is a stream of ecstasy that never gets dull. Life is a stream. Lifestream.
- Gymnastics at the Y!!! I'm going to start practicing backbends!
- Practice the feeling. Last night Kelly was "practicing the feeling" of having a chef, then came to the solution of ordering pizza ^_^ There's a force field of resistance to go through when you practice, but it's always worth it to try!
- I realized last night that the Internet and the American university system is not a competition! We need new blood to professions, students with fresh ideas for projects.
- I am expecting an adult introduction to tumbling class to start at the Y any day now!
- We've been watching e2 Design: Season 1 which is a super fascinating look at green design. It made me realize that buildings are alive and consciousness - we are BREATHING the buildings. Just like source breathes us.
- Um, third snow day in a row? Today there is ACTUALLY SNOW ON THE GROUND. IN AUSTIN, TEXAS.
- MY BROTHER TURNED IN HIS WEAPON TODAY!!!! HE IS COMING HOME NEXT WEEK! HOLY CRAP!
- We get to hang out with Larry soon ^_^
- The second phase of our science experiment begins today!
- The laundry is in progress!! HUMIDITY!
10 things I appreciate
- Connie has infinite patience.
- She gives great hugs.
- She cares so deeply for other people.
- She has a hilarious sense of humor.
- Her nickname is Prudence!
- She doesn't drink.
- She has a soothing voice.
- She has ALWAYS been there for me when I needed her.
- She appreciated my desire/ability to "live on the edge".
- Thinking of her gives me the greatest feelings of peace and comfort and home.
About my sister Joy!
- Joy always says exactly what's on her mind and doesn't censor.
- She knows what she wants and gets it.
- She has an awesome boyfriend, a cute dog, and a cozy, clean, and well decorated apartment.
- She has always been affectionate and able to compliment her siblings.
- She is a lot like me in many ways. We have some very similar interests in having fun.
- She has a cute sense of style and likes shopping.
- She is obsessed with clocks! Reclockulous!
- She is very caring and maternal, always a great hostess and makes sure everyone is comfortable.
- She's always been into video games and tv in a way that I enjoy observing.
- She knows how to argue with my dad properly! And she is great at puns.
Message from Clair
Life isn't supposed to be hard. Whatever is "hard" for you today, let it go. Forget about it. Don't think about it. Focus on having fun and enjoying the snow day. There is nothing "hard", everything is a flow of well being.
Telling my future
Today is like Christmas morning and New Year's Eve. Today is comfortable and cozy and warm. Today is joyous and focused on love and peace. Today is psychedelic minimalism.
Interview with myself
What are all the things you're planning on doing today?
Oh great question, lmao. Since you are so curious, here they are: meditate, transfer science experiment, shower, order Chinese, make magick pellets, write two articles, chill with movies and love my wife. Oh and Astrojax whenever possible.
- I feel so good I'm in the flow!
- I practice the feelings that I want.
Links I love
- Laura Roeder tweeted from Ulusaba, Sir Richard Branson's private game reserve. What an expansion!
- New Popular Podcast episode! It's about our second home, the Y. Plus, lots of kids playing with Astrojax.
- Aw waiting is fullness published such an awesome post, it made me feel so good!
- I have no idea what this means, but it's related to AJs and I'm going to find out.
- I love Amber's tumblr: Austin vs Weather
- I love watching videos about tumbling for beginners!