I am so grateful for meditation. Kelly and I have been meditating almost daily since last March and it has changed my life. I am more open to love, have calmer thoughts, feel generally happier and definitely get the meaning of life... a little bit :]
Wouldn't it be nice to buy some new clothes? Wouldn't it be nice if it got really nice and warm out for the rest of the year? Wouldn't it be nice to have salad for dinner? Wouldn't it be nice to pwn our 3 mile run and Body Pump tonight? Wouldn't it be nice to increase my weights? Wouldn't it be nice if our calendar markers started working well? Wouldn't it be nice to do an interview with Astrojax inventor Larry Shaw? Wouldn't it be nice to get a boatload of different AJs to try? Wouldn't it be nice to finish reading that Deepak book? Wouldn't it be nice to find a great answer on Quora? Wouldn't it be nice to feel inspired? Wouldn't it be nice to feel happy with continuity? Wouldn't it be nice to find a perfect equilibrium for a little while? Wouldn't it be nice to have some coffee? Wouldn't it be nice to get the shopping & cooking done today? Wouldn't it be nice to travel to Bali? Wouldn't it be nice to travel to India? Wouldn't it be nice to visit every country in the world? Wouldn't it be nice to visit the deepest part of the ocean? (Shudder) Wouldn't it be nice to travel to space?
Today I intend to focus. Today I intend to feel inspired. Today I intend to look with love. Today I intend to get better at everything I do. Today I intend to have fun at the Y. Today I intend to do inspired work. Today I intend to read. Today I intend to remember that this is all a dream, all an illusion. I intend to go with the flow and enjoy my beautiful life. I intend to appreciate all of the glorious miracles all around me, in every moment.
I love writing articles. I love creating the perfect image to illustrate. I love coming up with new article ideas for the week on Sunday. I love it when Kelly helps me come up with ideas. I love being Kelly's manager. I love having a list of things to be excited about to return to when I need a boost. I love reading my own posts to remember what I know. I love learning more every day. I love attracting inspiring materials. I love that pretty much everything can be inspiring if you allow it. I love allowing. I love learning to let go. I love learning to let it unfold. I love learning to go with the flow. I love playing with Astrojax. I love getting emails from the INVENTOR! I love that there is a huge community of people who are REALLY into AJs too. I love that I asked the AJ inventor for an interview. I love that Kelly likes to sleep. I love that Pwny is my alarm clock. I love Deepak Chopra. I love that modern medicine is bullshit and that everything is vibration. I love that my thoughts create my self and my body. I love letting go of "issues". I love that I am rather issue-free now. I love that I don't feel like I have deep seated resentment that I need to forgive. I love feeling free. I love waking up every morning and being able to do whatever the fuck I want. I love my parents for raising me to be so independent and intelligent and curious. I love my parents for trusting me to make good decisions. I love my parents for letting me do my own thing. I love my parents for letting me follow my bliss. I love my parents for supporting my every desire as a child. I love my parents for helping me be who I am. I love my parents for trusting Kelly and me to housesit. I love my parents for taking care of me. I love my parents for their senses of humor. I love my parents so much!
11 things I'm excited about today
- I love thinking about my articles on this site as "design writing".
- I changed my Google password! (It's a REALLY good idea to do it once in a while!)
- I WANT TO GO TO BALI. Yes, Eat Pray Love convinced me of that.
- I'm getting better at AJs! I can do this side-to-side trick now, I'll just have to show you some day!
- I got an EMAIL from the Astrojax INVENTOR, Larry Shaw!!!
- I'm now a member of the Astrojax/Active People Club in full force!
- The camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera.
- MICHAEL IS COMING HOME SOON OMG OMG OMG.
- You knew it was coming - BODY PUMP TONIGHT! And a 3 mile run!
- The Austin half marathon is coming up (2.20.11)! We are upping our miles to get ready!
- I AM INSPIRED! I AM GOING TO WRITE SOME QUALITY WORDS NOW!
Message from Clair
If you come into too much of your power all at once, you will freak out. It will be too much, and seem unnatural. It will seem like scary magic. But if you trust that your power is there, and that you can access it any time, you can begin allowing it to unfold. Like a Katamari ball, you can only do little things at first, but as you get more confident you can pick up bigger and bigger things. The key to enjoying the process of enlightenment is to go slowly, and appreciate each moment as it comes. If you rush through your life, always looking for the next revelation, you may find yourself missing the big picture. That's why things that slow you down for a little while are so good for you. MJ, astrojax, drawing, movies, all of those are ways to chill out and let your mind tell you what you've been missing in your desperate search for answers. The answers are already inside of you, you just have to trust that they will come when you are ready.
Clair, how can I be ready?
Smile. Surround yourself with love. Project love. BE love. Give people the attention they desire. Allow yourself to learn from everyone around you. All of the world around you becomes more enlightened as you do. In your lifetime, you will see the end of aging, the end of hunger, and the end of disease. Enjoy the process. Life only gets more exciting. It never goes backwards.
Telling my future
12pm: I am full speed ahead writing articles like a madwoman! I am full of dank inspiration and holiday cheer! I am wrapping my thoughts into beautiful presents! I am finding new ways to draw a-MAZE-ing mazes!
2pm: I am AJing! I am emailing! I am juggling a ton of things at once and everything is falling into place! I am gliding through the day on a slipnslide! I am filled with whipped cream! My eyes are chocolates and my mouth a cherry! Stickers are dispensed from my tongue!
4pm: Let's meditate and see spirals and checkerboards and legendary pink dots! Let's dive into that sea of creativity and come out with secret messages and dangly earrings and picture books!
4:30pm: RUNNIN IT! 3 miles fly by like a G6! Dancing with the employees of the Y, making friends, taking numbers.
5:30pm: BODY PUMP! Weights are feeling like feathers, and damn do my new muscles look good! GETTIN IT.
7:30pm: ahhhhh relaxing, dinner, hot water, nesting birds, reading books, grass beneath my feet, laying in a swimming pool, hot tub, perfection. Soothing words, hard massages, steam and blankets and money rolling in while I rest. THANK YOU UNIVERSE!
Interview with myself
How did you find such a perfect relationship?
Kelly and I met while we were both in other relationships. We weren't looking for a new relationship, but we were instantly attracted to each other like some serious magnets. We were a vibrational match. I was super happy about having my first teaching job and getting to live in Champaign again. Kelly just graduated college and had the town in the palm of her drunken little hand. We both wanted to have fun and feel good, so we did it together. Somehow meeting at the vibrationally perfect time allowed us to grow together in ways neither of us thought possible. Kelly taught me how to have confidence (she was the first person who convinced me that I should enjoy my birthday!) and I taught her some web design. And then we both drank until the sun came up. We didn't stop having fun for a second. PLUS I played hard to get and she was cool with that. She was patient.
Being in a relationship with a woman is the shit. We talk. We feel each other. We have our own language. We are open. We let the other do what she wants. We don't restrict. We allow. And above all, we take responsibility for our own moods and actions and never blame the other. We don't fight much anymore (but we also don't get totally trashed much anymore). We get close with other people. We have fun. We are partners, but that doesn't have some strict hetero-monogamy expectation attached to it. We do what feels good. And there are SO many things in the world that feel good. We're going through them all, one by one...
- I look with love.
- Let it unfold.