Momentum gathering | December 2, 2010 | Waves crashing

espresso!

Momentum gathering | December 2, 2010 | Waves crashing

espresso!

I'm so grateful for espresso. I'm allowed to have it again. It's delicious. And just what I needed.
kelly is long

I'm so grateful for our gym membership at the Y. We spend a lot of time there, running around the track and doing 100s of pushups. I'm so grateful the people there are so friendly and we meet new people every day. It's so fun. All you have to do is smile at people and be in a good mood and everyone's your friend. It's like having money teeth.
need new pens (this kind)

I'm so grateful I have the technology to take a photo of the pen I want to buy more of so I don't have to remember to write it down. And then I get a pretty sketchbook picture too. I'm so grateful discipline is replaced by the law of attraction.
kale salad sup

I'm so grateful for kale salads four days in a row. Then we get to have potatoes! I'm so grateful we eat at least half a head of kale and/or 5 ounces of spinach a piece each and every day. I'm so grateful I know what to eat to feel good.
banana nut chocolate chip muffs

I'm so grateful for banana nut chocolate chip muffins. They make use of our brown bananas and are moister than cake. Moister, is that a word? I'm so grateful I get to bake with Kelly! I love baking with her. I love that almost everything we make turns out great.
freaky

I'm so grateful for spinach smoothies and watching youtube videos with Kelly! We found new music today!

photo stretch it

I'm so grateful we met some cool people at the gym today. Sign up for that marathon, yes! I'm so grateful the Y is open until 10 during the week because we get up reeeally late sometimes.
sup

I'm so grateful I took the time to write my post this morning. I was feeling subpar when I began it (irritated to be exact) and by the time I was done I was feeling belief and eagerness.
surfin

I'm so grateful Kelly and I talked about "what we learned" from this most recent momentum crash. It was the first time I looked around without freaking out when out of the vortex. Nothing is worth feeling bad about. I could get to "interested" just by straight chillin.

I was in a really good mood yesterday because some good shit went down (yes, I want to be a lifestreamer!!) but then when I finished working on my project, I was totally drained and didn't know what to do with myself. Complete momentum crash. I realized at the gym it was because I didn't do the emotional work to get that good feeling emotionally. It was a manifestation - which is a great indicator of my thought patterns, but  when it went away, I lost my balance and totally fell the eff off that wave. Weird huh? Now I know that I have to take it slower, milk the feeling more. Good feelings don't have to be burned through like crack. Ha or do they? I recently intended, "I want to be addicted to my vortex." And now I feel like I am.

Lol. So anyway, this next illustration is about how today I realized I was out of the vortex (feeling irritation) and instead of freaking out and crying about it or doing something self destructive, I just chilled and looked around. I took note of my thoughts. I asked myself what I would rather be feeling. There wasn't anything I could "do". All I could do was think. And as soon as I became conscious of my negative thoughts, I began to change them. I focused them, using one of these posts as the method.

wtf

I'm so grateful that I don't have to question myself. I'm so grateful nothing really matters so I can say whatever I want. I'm so grateful that I don't have to care about what other people think. I love doing exactly what feels good to me. I'm so grateful we had such an incredible dinner tonight. I'm so grateful we get to watch The Simple Life tonight. I'm so grateful I don't have to talk myself in circles in my head. I'm so grateful I can choose to think thoughts that feel good. I'm so grateful I know how to do this. I'm so grateful I'm so practiced at directing my thoughts. I'm so grateful I listen to my emotions. I'm so grateful that I can handle feeling weird. I'm so grateful I prefer it. What else would I rather be doing? Nothing.

Tonight I intend to keep my focus. Tonght I intend to do exactly what I know I need to do to feel good. Tonight I intend to enjoy myself and relax. Tonight I intend to stay in the vortex. Tonight I intend to write my to do list for tomorrow. It gets me excited about the day. It makes me feel prepared.

Tonight I intend to bask in all of this new media Kelly and I have been attracting. Far East Movement, The Cataracs and Dev, yum! Plus hilarious ebaumsworld videos.  Tonight I intend to act as my future self. Tonight I intend to realize the moment is all I have. Tonight I intend to think about Lesson 8. Tonight I intend to remember how much I care about how I feel. Tonight I intend to have the best night of my life! Tonight I intend to sleep well. Tonight I intend to love myself unconditionally. Tonight I intend to do what feels good. Tonight I intend to pay special attention to my beautiful lover. Tonight I intend to not care about what anyone else thinks. Tonight I intend to feel completely, utterly confident.

Wouldn't it be nice to come up with dozens of visual metaphors tomorrow? Wouldn't it be nice if the Simple Life was good? Wouldn't it be nice to host poker next week? Wouldn't it be nice to write my to do list? Wouldn't it be nice to take that hip hop dance class at the y tomorrow? Wouldn't it be nice to resume my scanning project tomorrow? I think my scan output is congruent with my in the vortex-ness. How fascinating.

Wouldn't it be nice to burn some new CDs for the car? Wouldn't it be nice to breathe more? Wouldn't it be nice to get a new bike soon? Wouldn't it be nice to only think about things that make me feel good? Wouldn't it be nice to meditate some more? Wouldn't it be nice to have the best night of my life? Wouldn't it be nice to work on TPP? Wouldn't it be nice to build up the momentum hardxcore again? Wouldn't it be nice to go to Phoenix? Wouldn't it be nice to have a really great road trip? Wouldn't it be nice to go see FM on Dec 9? Wouldn't it be nice to let go of more resistance? Wouldn't it be nice to keep riding waves all day every day? I guess I can't avoid that.

Wouldn't it be nice to keep expanding my understanding every single day? Wouldn't it be nice to be on top of the world again tomorrow? Wouldn't it be nice to go for a walk during daylight tomorrow? Wouldn't it be nice to get some sun? Wouldn't it be nice to work on Lesson 8 a lot tomorrow? Wouldn't it be nice to make some serious progress on TPP? Wouldn't it be nice to record a talking ep? Wouldn't it be nice to get those job apps taken care of? Wouldn't it be nice to ... not apply? Wouldn't it be nice to quit thinking that's a fallback? Wouldn't it be nice to...

Haha well I guess I have my answer about where my life is going! I love finding my preferences. I love being an artist. I love supporting myself doing what I love (this!)! I love that these posts have been getting super freaky lately. I love that I am learning so much more every day. I love the concept of bedroom thighs. I love that I learn more now than when I was in school. Not because now is better than school, but because I couldn't be here without school. I love learning and teaching real time. I love that I am super super into feeling good.

I love taking breaks. I love contrast. I love doing cooler things every single day. I love having confidence. I love finding new things to obsess about. I love being as raw as possible. I love not caring about what other people think. I love getting slizzard. I love twitter. I love focusing. I love feeling together. I love feeling like I get it. I love feeling relief. I love believing. I love that I have no other choice, because I can't go back. It's impossible to move backwards. Why try. We are all expanding forward. I love having fun. I love feeling good and receiving amazing manifestations in return. I love real time philosophy. I love expanding.
potatoes are on teh way

I love these links. I love this night!

Wikipedia: downshifting, "a social behavior or trend in which individuals live simpler lives to escape from the rat race of obsessive materialism and to reduce the “stress, overtime, and psychological expense that may accompany it.”

I love Aurora, she is adorable (and an incredible illustrator)!

This is the hilarious ebaum video: hot girl wakes up at dentist. Thanks Jetta!

I love this new music!

Finally, train slo-mo via Kottke:

Jessica Mullen
Living the magick life.
5 COMMENTS
  • kelly

    i love the illustrations. i love that you did them at the gym.

    i also love that you have been taking photos at the gym everyday. makes me want to do that.

    i love all the embeds! embeds are my favorite right now. i love finding new music on youtube. its really fun.

    often, my favorite part of mixing down the tpp eps is browsing music with you. i like discovering music with you, and sharing loving it with you. its such a cool thing to share.

    omg i just wrote shart instead of shart. i mean share. lol

  • Katja

    i love all of the pics in this post so much! the illustrations are so much fun! and i loved reading about you getting back into the vortex and all your realisations!

    & thanks for writing this and reminding me why this is good, why feeling good is good, because sometimes i start doubting the whole thing (!) and come up with reasons why it would somehow be better to feel bad, and i just need that reminder.

  • jessica mullen

    thanks ladies! katja, sometimes i feel like doubting the whole thing too, but it’s been getting easier and easier to not think like that anymore! all i have to do is remind myself that i can’t move backwards, only forwards. i want to feel good, so how do i do that? and it gets easier to just do one of the things i know will make me feel better, like meditate, run, walk, or write a post. and as soon as i start feeling good again, i remember what i already know. it’s weird – knowing is an emotion, and when you are feeling an emotion below it, you dont have your “knowing”.

  • kelly

    that’s really bril. i never thought of knowing as an emotion.

    i feel like that really cleared a lot up for me. i have been reaching for knowing, but not thinking of it as an emotion…i don’t really know what i was thinking of it as.

    is a lot easier to think of it that way because i know emotions are indicators and i can feel an emotion by thinking a thought.

    it just makes knowing so much more accessible. like enlightenment. when you realize that enlightenment isn’t this big thing, its just being in touch with your inner self, it makes one a lot more likely to be enlightened.

  • jessica mullen

    ah that’s so cool! making knowing more accessible, by just realizing it’s an emotion. neat!

Comments are closed.

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